13 yr. old boy and 10 yr. old girl in the same bed?! (attorney, teenage)
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It seems you're overlooking that she was frightened by him crawling into her bed.
Nope, not overlooking that at all, in the OP's case. Just trying to address a few things I was seeing in some of the responses.
I'll add another... one of the most common things I hear people say about their own sexuality is that by the time their mom/dad had "The Talk" with them, they had already been sexually active for 2 years, or whatever it was.
Are you really asking this? I saw my first porno movie when i was 13. I discovered the tape in my dad's room, i use to watch the film everytime my family left me alone in the house. I am 18 now, i can clearly recall events that happen five years ago, so i would know. I actually know several friends who lost their virginity at age 14. I had my first girlfriend at the age of 13(pathetic relationship of course,but you guys intend). My 8 year old cousin likes to play Grand Theft Auto(a video game series) to pick up hookers and grind with girls in the club. Stop calling him a little boy, thats pathetic, the weirdeist and grossest years of a guy is during teenage years.I know teenagers are dumber than what they think, but they are actually more devious than what you think.
Therapy sounds extreme, i really dont know why. But i know if something happens to that girl, it might now tramautize her, heck she might not even know what happen, until a a few years later when she becomes a teenager. Or maybe she wont even have a clue because she was asleep.
If you just know the 10 year old already feels uncomfortable around him, that means she already felt uncomfortable around him before that happen and before you already knew that she feels uncomfortable around him. It actually takes some time for small children to open up to issues like this because they dont really know what to do.
And come on, snuggling because of brotherly love? Pfft only couples who are in love or older teenage/young adult horndogs like me snuggle.
If i was that 13 year old older brother, i would smack him across the back of the head REALLY hard.
In my opinion her not having a clue because she was asleep is quite likely to happen.
Though it seems he can easily go for her when she's awake it seems the boy has been given leeway to do as his wishes as her fears went unheard by her father and stepmother and it seems he was never asked to explain why he crawled into her bed unannounced rather he was defended and made to look like the victim.
Nope, not overlooking that at all, in the OP's case. Just trying to address a few things I was seeing in some of the responses.
I'll add another... one of the most common things I hear people say about their own sexuality is that by the time their mom/dad had "The Talk" with them, they had already been sexually active for 2 years, or whatever it was.
Oh so you were responding to posts that seemingly were unaware that gals were sexually curious rather than the scenario and the thread OP.
It certainty doesn't sound like she was sexually curious to me. Her crying and be frighten is not that of someone who is sexually curious, that's for sure.
He just randomly jumps into her bed out of habit and no one is going to think otherwise?
Yeah there are a lot of children these days who are maturing early, but there are also a lot who aren't.
As I've mentioned in an earlier post, he's well aware that there are not "blood related"
It seems you're overlooking that she was frightened by him crawling into her bed.
I highly doubt this is a case of mutual sexual curiosity.
Bit curious how did you get that girls being just as curious about sex as boys was being overlooked in a case where a gal is frightened of her dismissive and mean older stepbrother crawling into bed with her?
I doubt people are thinking he's a predator because he has a d*ck but rather he may be predator because he has a history of being mean and dismissive towards her, crawled into her bed unannounced, her response was fear, her fears went unheard by her father and the stepmother, and he hasn't given an explanation for his actions.
It certainty doesn't sound like she was sexually curious to me. Her crying and be frighten is not that of someone who is sexually curious, that's for sure.
He just randomly jumps into her bed out of habit and no one is going to think otherwise?
Yeah there are a lot of children these days who are maturing early, but there are also a lot who aren't.
As I've mentioned in an earlier post, he's well aware that there are not "blood related"
Going by the OP it's not out of habit rather a single incident as he's been mean and dismissive to her and she's been uncomfortable around him for some time.
Though perhaps it is out of habit and this is the first time she's spoken up about it though that seemed to do little good as her father and stepmother dismissed her fears and it seems the boy was defended rather than asked for an explanation.
Not always, 10 and 13 are fine, if it's family and they are close brother and sister... from a loving aspect.
However I agree in this situation when a child is afraid of the person sleeping in her bed with her and it's not her real brother by blood, there's something here that needs to be addressed by mom and not allowed to happen again by dad. If it does happen again, it's time for mom to call the police.
That's why the mother needs to talk with the father -- but not automatically accuse the boy of trying to rape the girl or of being a pedophile pervert.
If the boy was teasing the girl by getting in her bed and going to sleep to show her that it's his house, his bed and he's the boss, that is just kids and territorial and pecking order stuff.
If he was trying to rape the little girl, it cannot happen again and it could be too late by the time the police are called. I think the parents need to talk this out before the girl goes to visit again. The problem is, the parents would have to put their own differences aside and discuss it like mature adults. Certainly the OP doesn't believe her ex would just allow his young daughter to be raped and sexually molested, screwed up for life.
That's why the mother needs to talk with the father -- but not automatically accuse the boy of trying to rape the girl or of being a pedophile pervert.
If the boy was teasing the girl by getting in her bed and going to sleep to show her that it's his house, his bed and he's the boss, that is just kids and territorial and pecking order stuff.
If he was trying to rape the little girl, it cannot happen again and it could be too late by the time the police are called. I think the parents need to talk this out before the girl goes to visit again. The problem is, the parents would have to put their own differences aside and discuss it like mature adults. Certainly the OP doesn't believe her ex would just allow his young daughter to be raped and sexually molested, screwed up for life.
It's probably suited to talk with the son and ask why he crawled into her bed and to talk with the daughter and get her to elaborate on her fears and why is is uncomfortable around him.
It seems talking to the father may mount to no more than dismissing his daughter's fears in defense of his stepson.
He allowed his daughter's crying and fears to go unheard without requesting any explanation from the stepson. It's not that far of a stretch that he would allow such an environment where she could be sexually assaulted.
Going by the OP it's not out of habit rather a single incident as he's been mean and dismissive to her and she's been uncomfortable around him for some time.
Though perhaps it is out of habit and this is the first time she's spoken up about it though that seemed to do little good as her father and stepmother dismissed her fears and it seems the boy was defended rather than asked for an explanation.
Mean and dismissive is a very different matter than rape.
Kids raised together and kids thrown in together will have a pecking order that they will work out. If one of my 13 year old sons got into bed with a 10 year old step sister it would most likely be to torment her -- she would want him to leave and it would be like "you can't make me", "this is my bed and my room if I want it and there's nothing you can do about it".
Either way of course the boy needs to be stopped -- but if he's a sexual pervert, then the vists by the little girl would have to be ended completely. If he's just being mean by taking over her bed then his mother and step father need to address that very differnet problem.
Mean and dismissive is a very different matter than rape.
Kids raised together and kids thrown in together will have a pecking order that they will work out. If one of my 13 year old sons got into bed with a 10 year old step sister it would most likely be to torment her -- she would want him to leave and it would be like "you can't make me", "this is my bed and my room if I want it and there's nothing you can do about it".
Either way of course the boy needs to be stopped -- but if he's a sexual pervert, then the vists by the little girl would have to be ended completely. If he's just being mean by taking over her bed then his mother and step father need to address that very differnet problem.
I'm aware mean and dismissive is a very different matter than rape hence the elaboration of why she is uncomfortable and scared.
I'm also aware that it's often an attitude and behavior predators show to their prey.
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