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I didn't read all the posts because it really does depend on your situation, financially, emotionally and physically. If you are not ready because of work, money,relationship problems etc. It may not be advised to have a child. If you are president of a company and work 16-18 hours a day and no support system, it may not be the best time. There is no magic number but I would say between 29-32.
We started in our late 20s but didn't conceive until 32. We r trying for #2 but no luck. HOpefully before I turn 35.
I think it really jsut depends on the individual. I picked 26-29. By this time, my husband and I were financially responsible, all the partying pretty much lost its luster, and you can still be a "young mom" (as some people call it) if that's important to you. Plus, now that I finally do have a daughter, I jsut think it would be nice to have that much more time with her in her life. I know that sounds morbid but I just feel so much unconditional love for this tiny thing, I hope to be with her forever. (morbid AND sappy, sorry guys!)
2 more cents ... I also think that teens and early 20s is too young. I'm part of several online mommy groups and I hear a LOT of complaining about how they lost all their friends b'c they can't hang out like they used to. They want to go to their friends parties, bar hopping, and just do things on the fly with their friends. When I read posts like that I think, "Duh! That's what our 20s are SUPPOSED to be for so when you finally become a parent you don't 'miss it'!" Of course I don't say this to them b'c it's not like they can turn back time but it sounds like a major downer of young parents is "missing out on being young".
I'm generalizing her so please understand I'm not trying to bash anyone. Sometimes, I am jealous of the young mommies b'c it's so "easy" for them to get pregnant. At least that's the perspective of an "older mom". It's like I spent my 20s trying to prevent pregnancy and now I'm wishing all the time I get a big fat positive!!
I'd like to know why under 17 is even an option when these teenagers are just beginning to enter adulthood and have no real paying job or any type of self support?
I voted for the age 23 to 26. But I'm leaning more toward 25,26.
I had my first child at 29 and we were NOT ready financially. Age does not matter. Like some smart people on this thread already said. You are ready when you can support a child without help from other family members like mom and dad or the goverment for that matter. You are ready when you can provide for your family on your own. I agree, when you are older you MIGHT have a harder time, less energy and so on. But that is not always the case. I am ,and I know many of my friends are just as healthy and energetic as we were 10 years ago. My dad is 70. Had me when he was 34. He is also in excellent shape. Walks, runs and bikes everyday. So enough of this crap that older parents cant hang because thats just not true. It is up to you how you want to live your life and if you can handle being a mom. Not your age. There are plenty of out of shape, lazy and unhealthy people in their 20's who have kids so again, age is really not a factor.
2 more cents ... I also think that teens and early 20s is too young. I'm part of several online mommy groups and I hear a LOT of complaining about how they lost all their friends b'c they can't hang out like they used to. They want to go to their friends parties, bar hopping, and just do things on the fly with their friends. When I read posts like that I think, "Duh! That's what our 20s are SUPPOSED to be for so when you finally become a parent you don't 'miss it'!" Of course I don't say this to them b'c it's not like they can turn back time but it sounds like a major downer of young parents is "missing out on being young".
I'm generalizing her so please understand I'm not trying to bash anyone. Sometimes, I am jealous of the young mommies b'c it's so "easy" for them to get pregnant. At least that's the perspective of an "older mom". It's like I spent my 20s trying to prevent pregnancy and now I'm wishing all the time I get a big fat positive!!
I completely disagree. I have no children of my own but all those women who produced their kids as teens or in their early 20s have friends who are exactly the same way. That's actually partially why I didn't agree with that, there will always be someone just like you. I see them and it seems as though they were happy but not really... those girls don't have any lives except babysitting each other's kids, cooking, gaming, movies, computers, driving each other around, and sharing homemaking/school/relationship tips. It's shallow and superficial. The girls who had their babies so young did not seem like they were missing out because their friends and family were out there doing the same thing with them. Yeah, once in awhile I think of people like the girl who had her daughter when she was only 15 and son at 19 and I can't help but be reminded. Don't they ever feel like they could have done more? Are they ever bothered having to accommodate their children along with themselves that young? It seems unlikely they are affected the way we are, since they chose to have their kids and they didn't make lifestyle changes.
I would definitely say that you are jealous but my father was the same way. He just shook his head, "That is way too young to be raising kids. Unfortunately, they do bear one advantage because when the children get older, they will be able to mature really quickly and then move out. Someone who has their kids later is going to have to keep raising them until they age, like you said." That's part of the problem. Too young at first, but kids move out by thirties and forties. In a reverse twist, too old with kids that still weigh you down and live together with you (and your spouse, if you haven't divorced by then).
I completely disagree. I have no children of my own but all those women who produced their kids as teens or in their early 20s have friends who are exactly the same way. That's actually partially why I didn't agree with that, there will always be someone just like you. I see them and it seems as though they were happy but not really... those girls don't have any lives except babysitting each other's kids, cooking, gaming, movies, computers, driving each other around, and sharing homemaking/school/relationship tips. It's shallow and superficial. The girls who had their babies so young did not seem like they were missing out because their friends and family were out there doing the same thing with them. Yeah, once in awhile I think of people like the girl who had her daughter when she was only 15 and son at 19 and I can't help but be reminded. Don't they ever feel like they could have done more? Are they ever bothered having to accommodate their children along with themselves that young? It seems unlikely they are affected the way we are, since they chose to have their kids and they didn't make lifestyle changes.
I would definitely say that you are jealous but my father was the same way. He just shook his head, "That is way too young to be raising kids. Unfortunately, they do bear one advantage because when the children get older, they will be able to mature really quickly and then move out. Someone who has their kids later is going to have to keep raising them until they age, like you said." That's part of the problem. Too young at first, but kids move out by thirties and forties. In a reverse twist, too old with kids that still weigh you down and live together with you (and your spouse, if you haven't divorced by then).
I'm not sure what you disagree on but I'm assuming you meant my comment about these young teenage/very young moms feel like they've lost all their friends. Well, I'm not making it up. These women I think get online b'c they are trying to reach out and they are in the process of wanting to FIND young mammas like them. I'm sure eventually they will. Every person and situation is different. The types of women you described is one type and the ones I described is another.
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Don't they ever feel like they could have done more?
No, they are too busy trying to put food on the table and raise their child. However, I'm sure it crosses their mind every once in a while but if I were in that position, my philosophy would be, "I can't change the past, why dwell on 'could haves'?" I'd rather focus on what I can do NOW.
Having kids young or old comes with its own sets of advantages and disadvantages. I can't change the fact that I had my daughter in my 30s rather than 20s but whatever time I have with her now is the only time that matters.
Wow, I said 32-35 and was almost going to say 35-38.
By then, you'll have done all the "for yourself" things like some travel and such, you can see your kids through college while you are still working, and then retire.
Evidently, others know better than I do, since I don't have any kids.
Under 17 is just an option to show us how many irresponsible morons there are in this world.
I'm not sure what you disagree on but I'm assuming you meant my comment about these young teenage/very young moms feel like they've lost all their friends. Well, I'm not making it up. These women I think get online b'c they are trying to reach out and they are in the process of wanting to FIND young mammas like them. I'm sure eventually they will. Every person and situation is different. The types of women you described is one type and the ones I described is another.
No, they are too busy trying to put food on the table and raise their child. However, I'm sure it crosses their mind every once in a while but if I were in that position, my philosophy would be, "I can't change the past, why dwell on 'could haves'?" I'd rather focus on what I can do NOW.
Having kids young or old comes with its own sets of advantages and disadvantages. I can't change the fact that I had my daughter in my 30s rather than 20s but whatever time I have with her now is the only time that matters.
Too many assumptions. I disagreed earlier because I saw the part where you said it was too young and also, "When I read posts like that I think. ... young parents is "missing out on being young"." It does not seem like the ones I knew missed out but I guess there are different kinds. I wouldn't know either way, I'm not them. Again, one of my friends had an older sister who married at 18 with two children by 22, but she was VERY lucky since her father retired quite young and provided for many kids they adopted, luxury cars, multiple residences, free traveling, college tuition, private everything, and helping his family move out. He was smart with investments and associated much of his life churches (irony); somehow, this built up quite well and he became a sort of next Hilton. She basically never had to work except volunteering one time, and quickly dropped out of college.
That would be mine as well, but they don't seem bothered is what I meant. It is strange how people live so differently from each other.
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