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Hi everyone. I don't think I have ever started a thread on this site but I have participated in a few.
I was reading a few comments today that really puzzled me and I just wanted to get the view of other parents from other areas. I'm a dad of three girls and one boy.
I was reading this thread that made it seem like something foreign and ghastly to kiss your children on the lips.
Some of the comments made it seem like it was unheard of. To me this is ridiculous. My family always kissed me on the lips. I have taken all my children to their first day of school and have seen countless moms and dads hug and kiss their kids on the lips. I kiss my kids on the lips. Some of their friends parents I know kiss them on the lips.
This isn't bizarre to me but what the heck. Maybe I just know overly affectionate people. I particularly got the impression that it was inappropriate for a dad. Heck, one school teacher posted that she supposed some parents might kiss their babies on the lips but she never seen it in her entire 60 years.
My first thought was maybe these people live in some strange place where affection is frowned upon. Maybe, I'm the odd one. So do tell.
I was going to post a poll but I couldn't get it to work by checking the box below. Nothing happened.
Do you kiss your children only on the cheek or do kiss them on the cheek and lips? Do you think there is something wrong with kissing your children on the lips?
I kiss my toddler on the lips and so does my husband. I didn't read the thread u r referring to but I know which one u r talking about. What puzzles me is how can you be "overly affectionate" to your children? I have unconditional love for my baby so being overly affectionate towards her just doesn't make sense. Sure, if your kids start saying, "Mom, that's kind of embarrassing," then yeah, you would stop doing it in front of their friends or something but until my kid gets to that age where being with her parents is lame, I'm going to kiss her on the lips all I want!! You'll never get that closeness with your child after they leave the house!
Also, it is common in European countries to kiss relatives and friends on the lips, on the cheeks. When I went on a once in a lifetime visit to Brasil to visit family and my parents' old friends, strangers would kiss me (cheeks AND LIPS!) the entire time I was there!! Made me feel loved.
Maybe its a family thing? I kiss my toddler on the lips and I kissed my father on the lips up until he passed away when I was 20. I didnt find it sexual, creepy or anything. It was a sign of family affection. It was a quick peck and that's it.
My toddler only recently learned how to kiss, maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago , so now he's kissing any thing and any one. Its cute though, he sucks in his lips when he kisses and smacks his head to yours. He *loves* kissing his toys though and just this week kissed my good friend who is over here a lot.
Edit to add: My grandmother always kissed us on the lips too. I dont recall if our grandfather did or not. We are half german half bohemian (czech) if that makes any difference.
Myself and my entire extended family, on every side for 5 generations that I know of, around 400 people, do not kiss kids on the lips only on the cheeks and the younger mostly on the foreheads. Scandinavian, German, French heritage.
Do you kiss your children only on the cheek or do kiss them on the cheek and lips? Do you think there is something wrong with kissing your children on the lips?
I kiss my children on the cheeks and forehead, but never on the lips. Do I think there's something wrong with kissing them on the lips? Not intrinsically, no, but I still think it's a bad idea.
For better or worse, our culture associates kissing on the lips with sexual passion. That's partly our country's Anglo-American heritage, and partly the fact that in today's hyper-sexualized environs kissing on the lips is everywhere portrayed this way. Children are going to see lovers kissing on the lips all over the place. They shouldn't ever need to wonder what a father's kiss really means (and doesn't mean).
Having said that, it's true that other cultures have different customs, so when I see this in public, I assume that it's perfectly innocent.
Last edited by WesternPilgrim; 10-14-2012 at 12:31 AM..
I kiss my children on the cheeks and forehead, but never on the lips. Do I think there's something wrong with kissing them on the lips? Not intrinsically, no, but I still think it's a bad idea.
For better or worse, our culture associates kissing on the lips with sexual passion. That's partly our country's Anglo-American heritage, and partly the fact that in today's hyper-sexualized environs kissing on the lips is everywhere portrayed this way. Children are going to see lovers kissing on the lips all over the place. They shouldn't ever need to wonder what a father's kiss really means (and doesn't mean).
Having said that, it's true that other cultures have different customs, so when I see this in public, I assume that it's perfectly innocent.
See but I'm having difficulty with this being the Anglo-American culture position. I fall under that category and so do must of the parents I spoke about in the first post. After starting this thread I searched online for the same question. I really think it's more individual then cultural base in the US. I never thought any would would take issue with someone kissing their children on the lips.
Not speaking of you but It's interesting and surprising to me that so many bring any kind of sexuality into the context. I find it very prudish because I have never seen or sensed anything wrong with it. Also, I see many parents doing the same. Other naysayers seem to be germaphobes.
I did find one poll of 691 people. The majority voting on it seem to agree with my position.
would you kiss your child on the lips? 433 yes ( but only while still a little child) 160 yes even as an adult 98 no, never
See but I'm having difficulty with this being the Anglo-American culture position. I fall under that category and so do must of the parents I spoke about in the first post. After starting this thread I searched online for the same question. I really think it's more individual then cultural base in the US. I never thought any would would take issue with someone kissing their children on the lips.
Not speaking of you but It's interesting and surprising to me that so many bring any kind of sexuality into the context. I find it very prudish because I have never seen or sensed anything wrong with it. Also, I see many parents doing the same. Other naysayers seem to be germaphobes.
I did find one poll of 691 people. The majority voting on it seem to agree with my position.
would you kiss your child on the lips? 433 yes ( but only while still a little child) 160 yes even as an adult 98 no, never
Well, I don't think you would find many American parents 60 years ago kissing their children on the lips. Leo Buscaglia changed everything.
Many families still adhere to the old inherited Anglo-American norms to some extent, and to them (and to me) kissing anyone on the lips but one's spouse or lover still seems ... inappropriate.
Last edited by WesternPilgrim; 10-14-2012 at 02:54 AM..
I think a lot of this has to do with how you were raised. I don't see this as a problem if you have done it their whole lives. Personally I hug my kids and now and then kiss them on one cheek.
My grandfather was born in 1888 and I remember kissing him on the lips my whole life. He smelled of pipes and cigars which I hated but I loved to kiss him. My 73 yo husband kisses all his kids on the lips. They range from 10 to 54. When we all go in for the hug and quick smack on the lips seems only natural. I especially look forward to those good night kisses on the lips from our 10 year old girls.
I haven't kissed my kids on the lips since they were preschoolers. It's cheek or forehead now.
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