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I am sorry that you are unable to breast feed - I was not addressing women with medical conditions that prohibit them from breastfeeding (probably less than one percent of the population) . . . In the old days, women who couldn't breast feed hired wet nurses.
Many women who can breastfeed, don't.
I beg to differ with you that it was not a marketing scheme in the fifties that got women to abandon breast feeding, en masse.
I wasn't saying there wasn't a marketing scheme. I was saying your comment in line with this post didn't really make sense and seemed a silly statement to me.
I am a staunch believer in breast feeding. It's incredibly beneficial. And I think in America, especially, we have lost site of how very important it is for babies. But I don't see where your comments had anything to do with the thread- especially as they were not very nicely worded.
By the way, "in the old days," only rich women could afford a wet nurse. Often not becayse they couldnt burse but because they didnt care to. Many babies died of starvation. And in third world countries, they still do. Formula has indeed saved lives. Just because its gone a bit further in the other direction now (replacing breast feeding even when not necessary) doesn't negate that.
I haven't read anybody else's posts but given how outspoken CD people are, I'm sure you have been provided plenty of advice. At the end of the day, they are just advice and no right or wrong answer. Do what you think is best for your baby and what works well for you and your family. I'm also going to email you a couple of mommy-oriented websites so you have a perspective from actual moms that are currently going through the same things you are. You may be looking for a variety of answers, however, in which case, just ignore my email.
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Originally Posted by TimeMachine
I used to try propping myself up in bed or using our chair, but I was falling asleep during the feeding with the baby on my lap and was freaked out thinking she might roll off onto the floor.
My baby -I mean toddler! - is 20 months so these night feedings aren't too far away from my memory yet. I did the SAME thing. So did hubby. The only way for me to sleep more than 2 hours at a time (and by "more than" I mean 2.5 hours, maybe 3 hours but that happened very rarely!) was if she slept on one of us. Scared the hell out of us but it never happened. Not saying it can't happen but I never went into "deep sleep" so maybe my body was being alert even though I was getting some REM sleep?
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Now I put her to sleep in her pack-and-play, but at around 1am bring her into the King Size bed, and breast feed her in the side-lying position so I can doze.
I know many mammas who did this.
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My worry is this will foster a need to sleep in our bed, it's hard for me to tell at 1am if she's actually hungry or just craving our bed to snooze in, she is sucking, but I can't tell if she's eating from hunger or habit.
At this stage, it is probably still hunger. My daughter started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks but that's b'c we started sleep training very early on. If you are concerned about sleep issues, try reading the book "Babywise". Maybe it can offer you some advice.
If you don't want to read the book, my advice to you is routine. Don't worry about a schedule but definitely keep a routine. I whole-heartedly believe that is what has helped my daughter sleep through the night since 10 weeks. At first sleep through the night meant 5 hours, then she worked her way up to 6, 7, 8 and around 10 months or so, it was 11hours/night.
There's a lot of info/books on weaning and that will probably help you decide when you want to start doing it or let your baby give you queues.
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Does anyone know when a breastfed baby might be ok to room in with mom and dad, but no longer need a midnight feeding, or is it so highly variable from baby to baby there is no telling?
Also, is bringing the baby to bed going to make the sleep through the night transition more difficult, or is it no biggie?
It is HIGHLY variable ... I think every baby is built differently, just like ever adult is built differently. It's actually pretty common for babies to wake at night for feedings through the age of 1. your concerns should also be expressed with your baby's pediatrician. Google your questions ... you will find a lot of insight out there.
And then I realized that if I just went with it, it was so much less of a struggle for us all.
When I came to this conclusion during my daughter's newborn days, life was so much easier as well!!! All these damn books I read ... I should've never read them!! Well, I'm kind of glad I did b'c my baby did start sleeping through the night pretty early on but I really didn't have to follow everything to the "T". Mellowing out was the best thing that I could've done for my baby and myself!
I breastfeed at night, IN my bed (co sleep) with all 5 of my babies and not a single one ever wanted to sleep with me unless they were super sick! My last baby, I prob did the most with her I think just because I was older and enjoyed having a newborn a little more without other little ones to chase after. I kept her bassinet right next to my bed and would start her there. She would wake up once or twice for a feeding and I brought her to bed with me. IF i didn't fall asleep before she was done, I would move her back to bassinet...if I did fall asleep...oh well, more snuggle time. I think she ended up in her own room and big crib by 6 months and slept thru the night. She is now a little over 2 and she sleeps 12-13 hrs EVERY night. She is my best sleeper from such a young age...but I don't think the co sleeping ever affected my babies negatively. You gotta do what you gotta do to get thru those first few months. Good luck Mama!!!
Hello all, I'm dealing with a four month baby here, just have a question about night feedings:
Baby is feeding on breastmilk, she seems to take the breast or the bottle equally well. Earlier we tried keeping a bottle ready for the 1am feeding, but it turned into a disaster, so now I'm breastfeeding for the 1am. I used to try propping myself up in bed or using our chair, but I was falling asleep during the feeding with the baby on my lap and was freaked out thinking she might roll off onto the floor. Now I put her to sleep in her pack-and-play, but at around 1am bring her into the King Size bed, and breast feed her in the side-lying position so I can doze.
My worry is this will foster a need to sleep in our bed, it's hard for me to tell at 1am if she's actually hungry or just craving our bed to snooze in, she is sucking, but I can't tell if she's eating from hunger or habit. My husband does not have a problem with the baby coming to bed the second half of the night.
Does anyone know when a breastfed baby might be ok to room in with mom and dad, but no longer need a midnight feeding, or is it so highly variable from baby to baby there is no telling?
Also, is bringing the baby to bed going to make the sleep through the night transition more difficult, or is it no biggie?
My heart goes out to you. The whole sleep deprivation thing is really hard to handle.
Can I make one comment - -- not trying to freak you out, but definitely is a consideration. There's more to the issue than whether or not sleeping in your bed will cause problems later. Who knows? Some societies do that, some don't.
Our neighbors across the street always had their newborn in bed with them. The husband was a heavy sleeper. Both parents were just exhausted one night from the baby having colic and night after night of feedings. The husband rolled over on top of the baby and didn't know it. If the mom's heightened instincts hadn't kicked in, the baby would have died from suffocation. They had it in intensive care for a long time after that. So there are just common sense considerations about having your sweetie in bed with you. Pull the crib close to your bed so you can gently lift your baby into her own little space to keep her safe and help you sleep better.
This will pass quickly. I know it doesn't feel like it right now. But next thing you know she will be crawling, then walking, then running, then wearing your lipstick and playing in your high heels. It is such a precious time. Do your best and don't worry about being perfect, none of us are and we all learned how to parent by doing it.
Well, if you think waking up in the middle of the night, going to the kitchen with a screaming infant, heating up unnatural powders mixed with water, then sitting up at full attention, force feeding the potion in plastic that often leaks BPA is good for anyone, have at it.
I would much prefer snuggling, nursing, and dozing, but to each "his" own (and it was male doctors and scientists, no doubt, that cooked up this slick marketing scheme - it was genius, and a very easy sell and everyone made millions and millions).
I happily breastfed my son until he weaned himself and I did it (gasp!) sitting up in a chair. He would not sleep a wink in bed with us and woke every time someone moved or twitched. Fortunately we are not animals in the wilderness so I didn't have to worry about him being eaten due to my careless decision to have him sleep all the way across the room from us.
Thanks for the information everyone! It really is my instinct to breastfeed in bed and co-sleep at least a partial of the night. I think the reason I got so uptight about it all the sudden is there are advertisments etc in our area relating co-sleeping to putting a baby to bed with a knife! Very freaky stuff. It made my husband and I second guess/feel badly about bringing her into bed with us. On the otherhand I think it's more dangerous for me to be fumbling around the room in the dim light searching out the infant in her crib while I'm tired as heck. I'm going to keep going with what feels right and let the chips fall as they may in terms of habit forming etc.
She is 12 pounds now, just today I put her in her first size two diaper...NOOOOOOOOOOO! When I'm tired I will reframe my mind around the thought that these days will pass and I will wish I had them back.
Do what feels right is a great way to get through the newborn haze. All habits can be broken if need be - you have to do what you can to get through TODAY. My son slept swaddled AND in a swing for 8 months. All no-nos. When it was time for him to sleep in his crib he did.
One day you'll find one of those tiny diapers and you won't believe she ever fit in one!
We were a cosleeping family as well! It works for many families. Humans are mammals, and mammals typically sleep with their young, so you're biologically programmed to want to snuggle with and nurse your little one throughout the night. They outgrow this eventually, just like anything else. Do what works for you!
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