Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She's definitely ugly, she has a face like a man. She succeeded because the fashion industry and Oprah pushed her down our throats to try to change conceptions of beauty in America. I don't know any man who thought she was hot. If someone that busted looking can make a living as a model, anyone can.
I would make the comment that most parents do not even see their children as homely. My cousin's son was ugly... not going to lie... even as a baby, his nose was too big, his ears were huge, his head was pointed... While out shopping one day, she looked at me and said "I wonder how Mom's feel who have ugly kids? It's a good thing ours are so cute, so we'll never have to find out". Leads me to believe that, once you see that baby for the first time, you are blindly in love and don't even see anything else.
My niece's daughter has a head shaped like a light bulb and a lazy left eye that stares at her nose constantly. Her Mom doesn't see these things as ugly... she simply has Mommy's beautiful colored eyes and Daddy's nose and Grandma's ears, etc...
This is how it should be though... if anyone should love a child unconditionally, it should be a parent.
I agree. I don't know if my daughter is attractive to others or not. She's about 10 now, and she looks kind of like a younger version of the character Sue Heck from that show "The Middle." I think she's adorable. I always will. After my wife, she's the most important person in the world to me. I hope that she always knows that if her face isn't a glory to behold for all that see her, she will always have a fan in me.
Whether my child is attractive or not, I think an emphasis should be placed on what you can control, rather than what you cannot. Develop talents and skills, become a good person and have interests. One should develop the ability to focus more on one's own personal enjoyment rather than the perceptions of others.
An identity built on beauty will surely come crashing down with little more than a simple accident that causes a facial scar. You are more than your body. An identity built on inner self-value, pride in hard work and the unique contributions you have to offer is indestructible. One should not have excessive pride in that which they didn't earn IMO.
I think my kids are beautiful and by all accounts they are, but I'm raising them no different than I would an ugly kid. In my life's experience, its been some of the most physically beautiful people who are the most ugly people.
I know,stupid title.
What made me start the thread was reading something in Ann Lander's book.
Someone had wrote their child wanted to become a model or actress,but that she wasnt particularly attractive.
Ann told the parent to help develop the child's other talents instead,and encourage those versus the ones having to do with beauty.
Do you agree with that advice? Part of me wants to,because I was an unattractive child,and I wished my Mom had been more direct in telling me instead of hearing it from others. I would have been "hardened" already.
I'm not talking about being brash,but she could have told me in a loving way.
Part of me doesn't agree with that because that's dashing a child's dream,which I hate doing
I won't do anything because beauty is confidence. If your child is told they aren't beauty, where will they get confidence? In my opinion, there are plenty of models that aren't pretty to me yet pretty to others, Even in that case, there are many people that weren't attractive when they were younger but very attractive as they became older including myself. Children aren't done growing into their features. Let the child focus on being a child with high esteem and amazing confidence and THAT will shine more than any physical features.
^^I agree. I think the answer for anyone is to enhance your best features, regardless of your attractiveness. Light makeup (than enhances but doesn't cover), a nice hairstyle or cut, or flattering clothes never hurt anyone. Looks aren't everything, but enhancing what you've got, matched with some confidence (or a positive outlook) can help anyone. I'm talking about personally appreciating what you have and enhancing it, not doing anything just so someone else can think that you look good.
I mean, sure, you want a love interest to think you look good. But I idealistically think there's someone for everyone.
I know,stupid title.
What made me start the thread was reading something in Ann Lander's book.
Someone had wrote their child wanted to become a model or actress,but that she wasnt particularly attractive.
Ann told the parent to help develop the child's other talents instead,and encourage those versus the ones having to do with beauty.
Do you agree with that advice? Part of me wants to,because I was an unattractive child,and I wished my Mom had been more direct in telling me instead of hearing it from others. I would have been "hardened" already.
I'm not talking about being brash,but she could have told me in a loving way.
Part of me doesn't agree with that because that's dashing a child's dream,which I hate doing
This is a good question and I think a lot of "it depends". It depends on how sensitive the child is. It depends on how it's handled. It depends on the age of the child. I'm sure there are other 'it depends', too.
I don't think I'd ever have the heart to tell my child not to follow her dreams. I grew up being called "stupid, fat, ugly" so I know the impact words have on someone. I agree with Ann ... what else is the chid good at? Has the child been exposed to anything else so he/she can explore other talents?
I don't think there's a "loving way" to tell a child he/she is ugly. With beauty being such a prolific aspect in our visual life (tv, advertisements, magazines, etc) I think kids learn at an early age that beauty (unfortunately) matters. Maybe she's just going through a phase b'c all she sees is models on teeny bopper magazines (ugh, lord help me when my daughter goes through this stage!). If that's the case, then I think Ann Lander's advice is very good. Even if modeling is really that child's dream, you can foster her dreams, teach the child how to handle failure (b'c failure is a part of life, not b'c she is ugly), and encourage other talents so she has other interests she can possibly get into b'c everybody should have a "back up plan".
Exactly. "Ugly" to one is "beautiful" to another. Any parent that has loved their child, could tell you this.
I don't believe they pay Alec for her beauty, it's more because of a unique look that works for whatever they are selling. There are quite a few models like this.
This is a good question and I think a lot of "it depends". It depends on how sensitive the child is. It depends on how it's handled. It depends on the age of the child. I'm sure there are other 'it depends', too.
I don't think I'd ever have the heart to tell my child not to follow her dreams. I grew up being called "stupid, fat, ugly" so I know the impact words have on someone. I agree with Ann ... what else is the chid good at? Has the child been exposed to anything else so he/she can explore other talents?
I don't think there's a "loving way" to tell a child he/she is ugly. With beauty being such a prolific aspect in our visual life (tv, advertisements, magazines, etc) I think kids learn at an early age that beauty (unfortunately) matters. Maybe she's just going through a phase b'c all she sees is models on teeny bopper magazines (ugh, lord help me when my daughter goes through this stage!). If that's the case, then I think Ann Lander's advice is very good. Even if modeling is really that child's dream, you can foster her dreams, teach the child how to handle failure (b'c failure is a part of life, not b'c she is ugly), and encourage other talents so she has other interests she can possibly get into b'c everybody should have a "back up plan".
Looks are skin deep, it's the beauty inside that counts. I think it's terrible that we seem to view pretty people as somehow superior to those that aren't. It's simply not true. It's time to step back and re-examine our values.
Kids definitely DO NOT need to hear this from their parents, nor should they receive too much affirmation if they are attractive.
Kids will hear all about it in school. The parent's job will be to do "damage control." Building healthy self-esteem is one of the biggest assets and gifts a parent can give their child, and this can be a source of good armor.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
