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Wasnt the op a lesbian a couple of months back?? Now she met this wonderful guy lol her focus should be getting her daughters child support squared away first and a relationship second. Your daughter deserves it even if you think it wont matter. You have been given wondwrful advice you should listen and maybe things will change.
Only her dad was ever abusive to me. He smokes weed hardly what I would refer to as a drug abuser. Weed is from the earth I don't do it but I don't consider it a "drug"
If he has money for drugs, he has money to help provide financial support for your daughter and I think you are not doing your daughter or the father any favors by letting him off the hook. As a father, one of his first duties is to provide for her.
It's sweet that you want her father to teach her how a man should treat her, but a little girl should also see that her father helps provide for her. It's not much of a man who would abandon his financial duties to his child. And you might think you're doing him some big favor by letting him off the hook on support but that only encourages him to think he has no obligation to his children. And again, child support is the child's - you are denying her something to which she is entitled - by law. The idea of father-daughter dates is great - but there is a whole lot more to being a father than popping in now and then and going to an expensive restaurant. It's also about making sure she has enough to eat every single day.
I think it's good that you encourage him to remain in her life. But he needs to remain in her life as a provider too. If he feels child support is too much a burden then he may need to consider getting snipped now so he doesn't pile up a lot more support obligations.
I also looked at some of her previous posts. She admits to liking "bad boys" and was putting up with some guy who called her fat and wasn't nice to her, because she liked the "challenge". I thought you said that you read her previous posts. She has a ways to go before she is dating a wonderful, loving guy. I don't feel like joining the attack wagon, but I have to say that the OP is trying to be a great mother, but on the otherhand she is posting a picture of herself where she is showing off her tattoo and hardly wearing anything. That is a sign that she is reaching out to the wrong kind of guy. Anyway, I'm done. I hope this little girl has a good life.
... reaching out for the wrong kind of guys, and spending a boat load of money on a tat, while her day care expenses are subsidized, and baby daddy is off smoking pot. She may be trying to do the right thing, but she's not succeeding.
... reaching out for the wrong kind of guys, and spending a boat load of money on a tat, while her day care expenses are subsidized, and baby daddy is off smoking pot. She may be trying to do the right thing, but she's not succeeding.
A boatload of money? My brother in law owns a shop I paid $40 for that particular tattoo
A boatload of money? My brother in law owns a shop I paid $40 for that particular tattoo
$40 that could have been applied to the daycare that you say you can't afford.
Sorry to be so harsh, but I have a big problem with people bringing children into the world and then saying they can't afford the things the children need. I also have a problem with the mentality of "I'm a taxpayer and I've paid into the system so why not use it". I've worked and paid taxes since I was 16 too, but I don't feel I'm entitled to get that money back. I'm able to work, and my husband is able to work, so we work to support our family. We have one child and probably won't have any more because we know it would be a struggle to afford it.
I don't understand why so many women don't want to "force" their kids' fathers to pay child support; yet they have no problem accepting "help" from various governmentprograms. It is your child's father AND you who should be paying for your child's food, healthcare, daycare,etcetera. It is not the responsibility of the taxpayers of Ohio. Get down to the courthouse and file for child support. You have claimed that you don't need his money, but if your child is on Medicaid and Title XX, then YES you DO need his money. Or rather, your DAUGHTER needs his money. Do the right thing for her.
$40 that could have been applied to the daycare that you say you can't afford.
Sorry to be so harsh, but I have a big problem with people bringing children into the world and then saying they can't afford the things the children need. I also have a problem with the mentality of "I'm a taxpayer and I've paid into the system so why not use it". I've worked and paid taxes since I was 16 too, but I don't feel I'm entitled to get that money back. I'm able to work, and my husband is able to work, so we work to support our family. We have one child and probably won't have any more because we know it would be a struggle to afford it.
Daycare is $250 a WEEK this $40 is not going to make a difference. Tattoo's are one thing that I do for myself. Its something I enjoy and its a way to express myself. I have not bought one pair of pants not one shirt not so much as a pair of freaking underwear since my daughter has been born. So wow I actually take $40 and spend it on myself instead of putting it towards daycare? Wtf are you people just looking for ways to put me down. I got the advice that I needed. I have made my decision. So now lets all nit pick on all the ways im a HORRIBLE mother because I work full time go to school full time and pay EVERYTHING myself except for a little help with daycare? And I spent $40 on myself for the first time in over 18 months????? No how about I just quit my job sell my car and my house quit school and then give you guys something to talk about. Smh.
$40 that could have been applied to the daycare that you say you can't afford.
Sorry to be so harsh, but I have a big problem with people bringing children into the world and then saying they can't afford the things the children need. I also have a problem with the mentality of "I'm a taxpayer and I've paid into the system so why not use it". I've worked and paid taxes since I was 16 too, but I don't feel I'm entitled to get that money back. I'm able to work, and my husband is able to work, so we work to support our family. We have one child and probably won't have any more because we know it would be a struggle to afford it.
I think this is an unfair statement. Luckily for you, your husband is there and employed. What if that were to change, if you found yourself single and struggling to make your one income cover everything, including childcare so that you COULD work? $250 a week adds up to $1000 a month. If a woman is working, I don't see the problem with subsidized daycare. It would be different if she was sending her child to daycare so she could have her days free to sleep on the couch in front of the TV. She needs daycare to WORK to support her child. What's the problem?
And trust me, if the state felt like that $40 would help towards paying for daycare, they would take it. They analyze every dime she makes and decides how much they are going to pay and how much she can afford to pay herself. Her baby is fed, clothed, and taken care of by her. She pays her own health insurance, and she pays what the state of Ohio says she has to pay for childcare.
I also have a problem with people bringing children into the world knowing they can't afford to care for them, but there are people who have children, and have circumstances change. These children still need to be taken care of, and as long as someone is TRYING, I have a problem with people treating them like welfare queens. This is a woman who goes to work every day just like anyone else. She pays taxes just like you and I. So yes, if she is not making enough money to be able to afford $1000 a month in childcare costs, she has already paid for it.
I got the advice that I needed. I have made my decision.
What did you decide to do?
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