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Old 11-10-2012, 12:48 PM
 
749 posts, read 1,092,933 times
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My youngest is 5 and has issues with being sneaky. So far I have not been able to curb this behavior so any books or practical advice would be appreciated.

He has always been a little sneaky at home and now that he is in kindergarten obviously these behaviors are presenting a problem there. He will sneak toys home from the class that he wants, he will sneak into the teacher's candy treats, he knows to be quiet while the teacher is talking and will quietly move away from the group and go get into whatever he wants to do other than listening to the teacher. I was in no way surprised when the teacher began to describe his behavior at school and have witnessed first hand at school him doing some of these things.

Some examples of consequences to his behavior at home,

He has taken something from someone's home without asking, he is taken back to the home to return it and apologize if it happens again he has to let the person that he stole from pick one of his things to take home.

He constantly gets into treats at home. I let him have snacks and feed him when he's hungry of course but I'm talking about getting into things when he has had plenty. If I catch him the treat is thrown into the garbage and he has a time out.

He has 3 older siblings and is always taking things from them also. Same punishment applies as taking something from someone else.

These are just a few examples and the biggest problem with curbing this behavior is sometimes he doesn't get caught so the reward is there.

 
Old 11-10-2012, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
9,709 posts, read 4,360,965 times
Reputation: 30536
Have you asked him why he does that?
 
Old 11-10-2012, 01:20 PM
Status: "Opinions Are Like Belly Buttons. We All Have One." (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: On The Road Full Time RVing
2,155 posts, read 1,270,698 times
Reputation: 1869
The child is a thief and a liar, and will one day find his home
will be in jail then prison, like so many others before him.

Time out won't help it just helps him to figure out ways to no get caught.

He needs to be whipped with a paddle, and no rewarded with relaxation ( time out )

Correct and punish him now or later will be to late to try ! ! !
.
 
Old 11-10-2012, 01:23 PM
 
22,170 posts, read 12,990,379 times
Reputation: 23783
So he takes things that make him happy. (Treats and toys.) Anything else?

A 5-year old sneaking a treat is pretty normal. It's about that age they figure out how to do it and - woo hoo - something tasty to enjoy as their reward for pulling a fast one on Mom. What's his reaction when he's caught?
 
Old 11-10-2012, 01:24 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,240 posts, read 47,554,186 times
Reputation: 41638
being sneaky is great--- got my where i am now. stealing did not. identifying what the real issue is, is the key to uncovering the error and destroying it.
you dont have a sneak problem u have a theft problem.
 
Old 11-10-2012, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
26,457 posts, read 17,788,424 times
Reputation: 31618
whipping him is the worst thing you can do. I see it as a thief problem and not a sneaky problem too. Since he is the youngest perhaps he is feeling he is being denied something the older kids are getting. he must be getting some reward for this behavior besides the actual thing he takes. is it attention? they say negative attention is better than no attention at all. I would recommend bringing in some sort of professional to help you. this could soon get completely out of control.

Long ago had a neighborhood child who tucked toys in her shirt and pants and walked off with them. mother was not at all concerned saying "all kids want more than they have" but this child had a big problem and she eventually was in jail by the time she was 16 for shop lifting. daddy was a Delta Captain who pulled some strings and got her off but she had to go into some residential program. I often thought if it had been handled earlier in her life the whole family would have been spared a great deal of anguish. Good luck and hope you get some professional help soon. just reading a book or two probably won't help.
 
Old 11-10-2012, 01:41 PM
 
9,717 posts, read 6,979,258 times
Reputation: 9785
skahar...Sugar can play a HUGE part in the behaviors of a 5 year old...quit buying treats, so even if he has the mind to, there are NONE for him to take...."He constantly gets into treats at home"...far as I'm concerned that's the crux of your problem...SUGAR!!!
 
Old 11-10-2012, 01:42 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,240 posts, read 47,554,186 times
Reputation: 41638
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
whipping him is the worst thing you can do. I see it as a thief problem and not a sneaky problem too. Since he is the youngest perhaps he is feeling he is being denied something the older kids are getting. he must be getting some reward for this behavior besides the actual thing he takes. is it attention? they say negative attention is better than no attention at all. I would recommend bringing in some sort of professional to help you. this could soon get completely out of control.

Long ago had a neighborhood child who tucked toys in her shirt and pants and walked off with them. mother was not at all concerned saying "all kids want more than they have" but this child had a big problem and she eventually was in jail by the time she was 16 for shop lifting. daddy was a Delta Captain who pulled some strings and got her off but she had to go into some residential program. I often thought if it had been handled earlier in her life the whole family would have been spared a great deal of anguish. Good luck and hope you get some professional help soon. just reading a book or two probably won't help.
whipping a kid is not the worst thing u can do to him. going to prison bek u did not discipline your child is the worst thing u can do to him.
 
Old 11-10-2012, 01:58 PM
 
7,762 posts, read 9,326,836 times
Reputation: 13797
You don't have to catch him every time, just enough for him to wonder if he WILL get caught. You need to find his remorse trigger. What does he like to do? Watch tv, play video games? Take them away. Time outs and apologies don't seem to be deterring him, so you need to up the ante.

Ask the teacher to let you know when it happens at school, and let your son know the punishment will be the same, whether he sneaks at school or home. If you are consistent, and if you find a punishment that matters to him, it should stop the behavior.

I wouldn't lose sleep over worrying he's headed towards a life of crime.
 
Old 11-10-2012, 02:28 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA... where the nest is now empty!
12,126 posts, read 14,246,211 times
Reputation: 18577
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
whipping a kid is not the worst thing u can do to him. going to prison bek u did not discipline your child is the worst thing u can do to him.
Whipping is not a necessary component of discipline....
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