A bit worried about possible future custody battles with the father. (child care, legal)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Am I the only one who thinks that the OP should at least give the father of her baby the chance to step up? Sometimes lousy boyfriends make good daddies, don't they?
Unless the OP has some serious concerns about this guy being around her child, I think she should at least talk to him before she "gets out of dodge". After all, this fella was fine enough for the OP to "hook up" with for well over 6 months... she must see something in him.
I don't what to say. Doesn't anyone use condoms anymore?
Seriously.
OP, from the vibe I get from your post, you probably have nothing to worry about, the baby's father most likely will try to avoid child support, and won't want anything to do with the child.
That being said....refrain from "hooking up" after this child is born....or this will be your future every year for the next 10 years, baby, after baby, after baby. Birth control...
After all, this fella was fine enough for the OP to "hook up" with for well over 6 months... she must see something in him.
Doesn't "hooking up" for 6 months just essentially mean he was merely a "F" buddy? No secret what she saw, and that doesn't mean that would make him a decent parent.
She needs to move while she still holds all the cards.
Doesn't "hooking up" for 6 months just essentially mean he was merely a "F" buddy? No secret what she saw, and that doesn't mean that would make him a decent parent.
She needs to move while she still holds all the cards.
The OP and this guy may have used each other but the end result is an innocent child.
If this guy isn't interested in the child, there really is no need to run. Although, I do agree that she needs another living environment. But if this guy is interested in being a dad to the child, the OP shouldn't stand in the way of him doing so.
It's certainly not the best of situations no matter how you look at it...
The OP and this guy may have used each other but the end result is an innocent child.
If this guy isn't interested in the child, there really is no need to run. Although, I do agree that she needs another living environment. But if this guy is interested in being a dad to the child, the OP shouldn't stand in the way of him doing so.
It's certainly not the best of situations no matter how you look at it...
A guy (won't call him a man) interested i being a dad doesn't change his number after finding out he's impregnated someone.
I feel sorry for the child. Doesn't sound like a great way to start out.
The OP and this guy may have used each other but the end result is an innocent child.
If this guy isn't interested in the child, there really is no need to run. Although, I do agree that she needs another living environment. But if this guy is interested in being a dad to the child, the OP shouldn't stand in the way of him doing so.
It's certainly not the best of situations no matter how you look at it...
According to the OP, the sperm donor changed his number... seems like she can't contact him even if she wanted to. So she needs to make some important decisions regarding her living situation while she can without being hampered by him.
A guy (won't call him a man) interested i being a dad doesn't change his number after finding out he's impregnated someone.
I feel sorry for the child. Doesn't sound like a great way to start out.
A responsible, mature guy wouldn't. An immature jerk sure would. The latter would have no problem treating the mom like dirt and disappearing during the pregnancy while expecting as much access to the child as he wants, when he wants. Happens all the time.
And the sad part is, legally he's right. Short of physically hurting the mom, he can be a total butt to her. But if he pays for the child and does not harm the child he will maintain rights. There is little she can do to avoid sharing.
I don't think that is a bad thing in terms of the child's best interests. Even if you hate the other parent it is better to give the child at least a chance to get to know both parties. That's why I was asking if there was any specific reason she was afraid he'd take the baby. OP Did he say something?
Many cities have assisted living facilities for single mothers-to-be and single mothers with infants. Look into it.
Are you seeing a doctor to make sure your pregnancy is going well? Again, free or low-cost clinics are available in many places.
Are you getting any form of government assistance? It sounds as if you might qualify for ADC, foodstamps, etc. Look into it, too. A good social worker could help you find out what options are available to you and your baby. Larger churches in your area might also help point you in the right direction - check with mainstream denominations.
If you're living with people who hate children, make other arrangements asap.
Where is your own family of origin in this situation? Do you have parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives who could help you?
Good advice. Also, file for child support asap the child is born...unless you do decide to let the baby be adopted....Which really is a viable option for the good of your baby.
Everything you do after the baby is born will be key if there is a custody issue. Get child support, aqpply for housing and any welfare to work programs...in fact go see what you will qualify for now and get w/ a case manager to get things lined out...housing, food stamps, there are many things available...but you have to go seek them. Everyone in your life can be brought up in a custody battle....do not hang out w/ anyone w/ criminal behavior of any kind. Do the best for your child....keep records, write down any time your boyfriend talks to you, says anything that intimidates you...all this will be necessary if a custody battle ever happens. Get some help now w/ the programs. Good luck to you
When my sister had a baby, she got the father to sign away his parental rights. He was not interested in being a father, and this guaranteed for her that he wouldn't just show up in her life a few years down the road and suddenly decide he wanted to play house, and it guaranteed for him that he wouldn't have to pay child support or anything. Win/win for them and what they wanted. The process required a DNA test and a lawyer.
When my sister had a baby, she got the father to sign away his parental rights. He was not interested in being a father, and this guaranteed for her that he wouldn't just show up in her life a few years down the road and suddenly decide he wanted to play house, and it guaranteed for him that he wouldn't have to pay child support or anything. Win/win for them and what they wanted. The process required a DNA test and a lawyer.
I would hope that's only possible if the mother is capable of providing financial support for the child. In a case where the mother is going to require welfare handouts, and the father can provide support, it would be better for the father to raise the child. Or at least the father should be paying child support for his child.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
