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The latest incidents about kids being shot in the news got me to thinking...my son (4) is just starting to go to friend's houses to have one-on-one play dates. I have met the parents, I know what they do, I have been in their houses, but we are not life-long friends. I assume the kids are supervised well but I'm not there.
Obviously, from stories you read, there are parents that are not responsible around kids with their weapons. This as well as other things presents a danger. But at some point you have to also not be a helicopter parent, trust you have taught your children well, and trust your instincts with your friends.
I'm not a gun person so maybe that's why I'm more skittish about this subject. My BIL (who does not have kids) is very pro-protection and keeps a loaded gun in his glove box, and one on top of his refrigerator. I don't take my eyes off my kid for a second when we're in his house, but I have let BIL babysit at our own house.
Do you worry about things like guns at other people's houses? How would you handle the situation and start the conversation? Point-blank (pardon the pun) ask the parents if they keep guns?
Silly question, but can't you attend the playdates? My daughter sure is younger than your son, but I'm always there when she has a playdate, and it will go on that way for a while. If you're too uncomfortable, maybe you should be there, or not allow your child to go unless you know the people very well, or are sure there are no guns in their house.
Usually I am at playdates with him, but I know he is getting to the age where they'll "go over to Johnny's house to play for a while." He has a younger sibling (as do his friends) so the playdates correspond during the younger ones' nap times-now that the four year olds have outgrown their naps. These are neighborhood kids so it doesn't involve driving.
I'm no fan of Guns, and wouldn't have one in my house.
Yet, I'm wondering if you ask yourself the same question about swimming pools. Your kids chance of meeting the great dark are vastly higher if there is a swimming pool than a gun.
Guns are pretty low on the risk scale. I would have no issue asking about it. . .do you own guns, how is it secured. . .etc. But since the risk is so low, it may not be worth the hassle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elacklen
The latest incidents about kids being shot in the news got me to thinking...my son (4) is just starting to go to friend's houses to have one-on-one play dates. I have met the parents, I know what they do, I have been in their houses, but we are not life-long friends. I assume the kids are supervised well but I'm not there.
Obviously, from stories you read, there are parents that are not responsible around kids with their weapons. This as well as other things presents a danger. But at some point you have to also not be a helicopter parent, trust you have taught your children well, and trust your instincts with your friends.
I'm not a gun person so maybe that's why I'm more skittish about this subject. My BIL (who does not have kids) is very pro-protection and keeps a loaded gun in his glove box, and one on top of his refrigerator. I don't take my eyes off my kid for a second when we're in his house, but I have let BIL babysit at our own house.
Do you worry about things like guns at other people's houses? How would you handle the situation and start the conversation? Point-blank (pardon the pun) ask the parents if they keep guns?
Some people do bring up the gun question. My husband does armed security, so the neighbors know he has a gun and some have asked me what my husband does with the gun when he's home. (leaves it in his level 3 holster on the floor) It's not accessible to kids. I don't let kids play in my bedroom, but even if they did, they couldn't get the gun out of the holster and it can't be fired in the holster.
It's also not our only gun and none of our guns are locked up, or stored unloaded. My kids understand gun safety. My oldest shoots at the range when I do (she's 10). She knows where the guns are. We practice home defense with a plastic bb gun (my husband opens the front door and runs in, my daughter has to grab the unloaded bb gun, load its magazine and pull the trigger before my husband gets to her) and we have home safety drills. My younger daughter is too small to learn how to shoot, so our safety drills involve her hiding and laying down flat on the floor, usually in her closet (or maybe her sister's closet if it's closer). There have been a ton of daytime break-ins in my neighborhood in the last couple of weeks, so we've been practicing a lot lately.
Anyhow, the first time or two that your son goes somewhere for a playdate, you should go also. Make sure things are safe there, a gun is not the only thing that can make a house dangerous.
Guns weren't common household items when my kids were in the playdate years. Now that they are, yes, I would ask. A couple of uncomfortable moments is nothing compared to wishing you had spoken up if something goes wrong.
Around here there are a lot of guns, and I did used to ask when my children were younger. If I knew there were loaded guns laying about the house, I would not have let them go.
I worry more about dogs. Many more people have un-kid-friendly dogs.
Someone asked me once if I kept guns in the house when their child was going to come and play. I wasn't offended in the least but the answer was "no". I'm not sure if someone who said "yes" would be offended either unless they were not storing them properly and wanted to be a jerk, but then that's what you would want to know anyway so you could stay away. Anyone doing it right would probably love to put your mind at ease.
A large number of people have guns where we live, ourselves included. Most kids including ours are extremely aware of gun safety and have been taught about guns from a young age.
That said I would not allow my child at 4 to go to a home where I wasn't very familiar with the parents and aware of how they stored their guns.(Our gun is in a coded safe with the ammunition in a separate coded safe, both are in difficult to reach parts of the house) At 4 the kids shouldn't be unsupervised for any length of time anyway.
Avoiding homes with guns would be next to impossible where we live. I'm much more paranoid about dogs and would be with swimming pools if anyone had them here.
My daughter has been on a million playdates over the years and it has never once crossed my mind. Maybe it is because we live in a big city, and I don't expect the parents to have guns. I might feel differently if we lived in a rural area.
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