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I was planning to buy an Xmas gift for a family member's toddler. I always give her nice birthday and Xmas gifts. I asked her parents what she is interested in, as she is getting a little older and has specific things she likes. The parents responded informing me that she doesn't need anymore toys and that I can make a donation on her behalf to their requested charity. They also requested I let them know what my daughter wants for Xmas.
I'm not sure how to respond. I'm happy to donate (we have a charity that we donate to every year) but I guess I am having trouble swapping out a gift for a charity donation. She's young and won't understand but still. Also, how should I respond about my kid? Mine doesn't need anymore toys either but feel like if they want to give her a gift, then they can.
I can understand both sides. Some people truly do try to limit the amount of toys their kids are given and of course the quality or kind of toys their children are given. Once when my daughter had a birthday party she requested food or donations to an animal rescue in our community. I was surprised to learn later some were offended. I couldn't believe it.
If I were you I would do exactly as you please. If you were planning on giving a gift and the parents have specifically told you No Gifts, just a charity donation, then do that. And do not feel you have to come back with the same answer for your child. Tell them what your child enjoys and let them make up their own minds.
I can understand both sides. Some people truly do try to limit the amount of toys their kids are given and of course the quality or kind of toys their children are given. Once when my daughter had a birthday party she requested food or donations to an animal rescue in our community. I was surprised to learn later some were offended. I couldn't believe it.
If I were you I would do exactly as you please. If you were planning on giving a gift and the parents have specifically told you No Gifts, just a charity donation, then do that. And do not feel you have to come back with the same answer for your child. Tell them what your child enjoys and let them make up their own minds.
Agreed.
I think personally if I was still inclined to get the child a gift: I'd start looking into something that isn't "materialistic", but something that can be enjoyed for the experience. Like tickets to the zoo, science center, children's museum, child's favorite character concert (or some kind of play) et. c in addition to the donation to the charity.
We had young friends with a large family who were trying hard to raise their children in a family centered Christian way. They really wanted few presents because the house was filled with some of the toys, they wanted their children to see the religious part of Christmas instead of the materialistic, and they just wanted a more simple life.
Their parents just could not understand and ignored any suggestion to provide less. It caused heartache and issues within the family on both sides.
I applaud these parents for putting their foot down. If you dont want to donate, then dont but please do not get them something just because. A nice card is fine.
If a child wants donations to a food pantry or a cause for their birthday or such, please listen to the child and be generous to their wish. They are learning a lesson and doing good things. They probably get "things" that they like all year long.
I know it's awkward. And it feels wrong to me to not get them something! But I've read many discussions like this and the parents really DO mean that they don't want gifts. But there is nothing wrong with you feeling differently and I don't think the other parents judge you at all for allowing them to get your child a gift.
I was planning to buy an Xmas gift for a family member's toddler. I always give her nice birthday and Xmas gifts. I asked her parents what she is interested in, as she is getting a little older and has specific things she likes. The parents responded informing me that she doesn't need anymore toys and that I can make a donation on her behalf to their requested charity. They also requested I let them know what my daughter wants for Xmas.
I'm not sure how to respond. I'm happy to donate (we have a charity that we donate to every year) but I guess I am having trouble swapping out a gift for a charity donation. She's young and won't understand but still. Also, how should I respond about my kid? Mine doesn't need anymore toys either but feel like if they want to give her a gift, then they can.
How about a gift to charity, but also give the child a new book? Unless the parents are completely unfit to raise children, they could not possibly deny their child a book, and it would be something for the toddler to receive and open as a present.
I think personally if I was still inclined to get the child a gift: I'd start looking into something that isn't "materialistic", but something that can be enjoyed for the experience. Like tickets to the zoo, science center, children's museum, child's favorite character concert (or some kind of play) et. c in addition to the donation to the charity.
The parents said donation, no gifts. You can't/shouldn't go against what the parents want. Your "inclinations" do not take precedence over the parents. What is so difficult to understand....I'm a bit shocked at so many people telling you to disregard what the parents have told you??
Did the parents suggest or tell you to donate? I hate being told to donate. I'll do that on my own. It's rude to dictate what to give as a gift. If they suggested, go ahead and get the gift. Otherwise, I wouldn't donate, I'll just give the kid a card.
And as for your kid... go ahead and make an honest suggestion for something you think your kid will enjoy.
I like the ideas of a book or tickets. The local children's museum here is awesome but kind of expensive--I would love for the kids to get passes.
Christmas is about the joy of giving. It's admirable that your friends are trying to cut down on stuff, but it's not up to them whether you choose to donate or even stick the money back in your own pocket.
Magic78...I would still buy the child a gift, no way she's going to "appreciate" a donation in her name, that's just mean of her parents...if they feel she has too many toys now, they could donate some of them could they not? I just feel it's in poor taste to tell people (who really don't have to give anything at all) what you want.
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The parents said donation, no gifts. You can't/shouldn't go against what the parents want. Your "inclinations" do not take precedence over the parents. What is so difficult to understand....I'm a bit shocked at so many people telling you to disregard what the parents have told you??
