U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 04-13-2009, 04:15 PM
 
515 posts, read 848,331 times
Reputation: 305

Advertisements

Well, I don't think 13 is too young for a thong. Panty lines are just embarrassing. And obviously the girl never meant for anyone to see it.

I don't consider this sexual assault at all. All he did was pull a prank.

 
Old 04-13-2009, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
38,753 posts, read 38,334,632 times
Reputation: 28810
The school authorities need to determine which of the following motive there might have been, and act accordingly. We cannot know at this point.

1. In all likelihood, the kid was just showing off in front of his peers, and he has probably had some sleepless nights over it. If that's the case, all that is needed is for him to be faced down in the principal's office, and he has probably learned his lesson.

2. If it was sexual curiosity, there is certainly nothing wrong with sexual curiosity per-se, and as he matures, he is likely to have a better understanding of the time and place for things like that.

3. He could be potentially a dangerous child, and some realistic intervention is in order.

4. Finally, he might just be a sociopath, and like most of them, he will go through life controlling hapless people horrifically, with impunity, no matter what you do to him now.
 
Old 04-13-2009, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,489 posts, read 1,714,372 times
Reputation: 1644
When I went to school it was called 'dacking'.

To me this was kids being kids. I do not think you should get so wound up about it. Inapropriate - yes. But still kids being kids. If it happens repeatadly then I would classify it as bullying and see the school but one or twice in my view is just boys being boys.

Once upon a time, girls dressed as girls and boys dressed as boys. Boys did boy things and girls did girl things. Boys were taught to treat girls as special. Boys were taught to respect girls. This extended to adult hood - Opening doors, ladies first and so on.

Now girls wear pants and run with the boys in the playground. So do not be suprised that other 'boys will be boys' activities go on.

Now I am not saying nothing should be done. I do think suggestions of pressing charges and suspending kids and even involving the school this first time is over reacting.

I certainly am NOT suggesting that your daughter be taught to just accept it. However I am not sure what advice to give for her - maybe others can suggest things on that line. I do think that it is your responsibility to ensure that she wears conservative underwear. My daughters wear skirts to school and my wife and I ensure that they do wear sports briefs or bike pants for modesty. I have told my daughter that if a boy lifts her skirt then wait till he is not expecting it and then 'dack him'.
 
Old 04-13-2009, 08:40 PM
 
309 posts, read 550,764 times
Reputation: 120
[quote=Connecticut Pam;8322398]
Quote:
Originally Posted by basaltfire View Post

Who is the MORON???? If you did this all the time back when you were this kid's age then you are the MORON and you ran the risk of being arrested. Never mind your foul WTF...this kid was dead wrong and this 13 year old is entitled to wear whatever dang kind of underwear she wants...LIKE she even suspected any idiot was going to pull her pants down so she best wear her GRANNY underwear. GET REAL. If you don't like the way people are reacting to this jerk kid pulling this girls pants down then don't go on this forum...this whole episode with the kid pulling this girls drawers down is not only sexual harassment it borders on this kid being a bully. HOW DARE HE or anyone of his idiotic friends who I am sure were standing there laughing even think this was ok? A big bad arse joke at this girls expense..not in this lifetime. Who needs to grow up now??
you need a head shake -kid's will do things like this !!!!!!!!
it''s part of growing up and it's not at all sexual harassment........ get your head out your you know what....... and realize its a prank.....we have all seen it and or had it done to each other. period!!!!
what planet you from!!!!!!
 
Old 04-14-2009, 12:29 AM
 
550 posts, read 792,501 times
Reputation: 335
It's in threads like this that I wonder how america can be one of the wealthiest nations in the world...
"pulling pants down in school should be punished with law enforcement"? THE KID IS WHAT? 13!?!?! HE/SHE IS ENTITLED TO DO STUPID STUFF, YOU TELL THE DAMN KID NOT TO DO IT AGAIN AND THATS IT. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS.
Whats all the damn fuss about?
 
Old 05-03-2009, 01:06 AM
 
412 posts, read 588,675 times
Reputation: 209
Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post

Once upon a time, girls dressed as girls and boys dressed as boys. Boys did boy things and girls did girl things. Boys were taught to treat girls as special. Boys were taught to respect girls. This extended to adult hood - Opening doors, ladies first and so on.

Now girls wear pants and run with the boys in the playground. So do not be suprised that other 'boys will be boys' activities go on.
Ha ha - that's funny. Once upon a time, girls weren't allowed to go to school. Girls stayed home, and helped their mother with the housework. This extended into adulthood - women raised the children and did the housework.

Now girls are allowed to go to school with the boys! So don't be surprised when boys pull down their pants! Boys will be boys


Pulling down a girls pants at 13 years old? I call that sexual harassment. Whether or not law enforcement should get involved is a judgement call based on how upset your daughter is, and what the boy is like. Was it just a one-time bad decision that his parents will deal with? Or, does he do stuff like this often?
 
Old 05-03-2009, 01:12 AM
 
Location: NW. MO.
1,817 posts, read 3,741,396 times
Reputation: 1291
Quote:
Originally Posted by gubben1 View Post
I appreciate all of the support, I was,still am so angry, I'm glad I wasn't just over reacting !

I asked the principal what would be the boys punishment and he said he was not allowed to tell me, privacy act or some crap......hello, the boy blew that when he pulled down my daughters pants.
She is a very strong girl so I hope this will just pass. It guess it would have been a bit less dramatic if she didn't wear thongs !
So far she is a straight A student and on the school sport teams, I hope none of that changes, kids can be so dang mean !!!
I hope we will look back on this years from now and laugh.

Thanks again for the support and advice.
I'll keep you posted on the situation !
I'd be sure to tell him you will be kept aware of the schools actions regarding this incident or you will retain an attorney.
 
Old 05-03-2009, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,489 posts, read 1,714,372 times
Reputation: 1644
Default Maybe you misunderstood me

Maybe you misunderstood me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by skchi View Post
Ha ha - that's funny. Once upon a time, girls weren't allowed to go to school. Girls stayed home, and helped their mother with the housework. This extended into adulthood - women raised the children and did the housework.

Now girls are allowed to go to school with the boys! So don't be surprised when boys pull down their pants! Boys will be boys
What I (Aidxen) was trying to communicate was not that girls should not go to school. I am fully in faviour of girls goihng to school. Please everyone do not think I am trying to denigrate women.

Quote:

Pulling down a girls pants at 13 years old? I call that sexual harassment. Whether or not law enforcement should get involved is a judgement call based on how upset your daughter is, and what the boy is like. Was it just a one-time bad decision that his parents will deal with? Or, does he do stuff like this often?
What I was trying to say was that if we get rid of gender specific identifiers like clothing and behaviours, then we can't say that if the action is boy-boy that its OK but boy-girl is sexual harrassment.

So if we want to label this kind of activity as sexual harassment, then we need to set up expected behaviours for boys vis girls. That is we must say things like Boy thats a girl treat her this way that is different to the way you would treat a boy in the same circumstances.

BUT that is not what we have been saying for the last 30 years. We, as a society, have been saying boys and girls are equal. Identical. No different. We not only let them play sport together, we encourage them to do this. Girls and boys play soccer together for example.

So its not sexual harassment. Its kids being kids.
 
Old 05-03-2009, 06:39 PM
 
412 posts, read 588,675 times
Reputation: 209
Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
Maybe you misunderstood me.

What I (Aidxen) was trying to communicate was not that girls should not go to school. I am fully in faviour of girls goihng to school. Please everyone do not think I am trying to denigrate women.

What I was trying to say was that if we get rid of gender specific identifiers like clothing and behaviours, then we can't say that if the action is boy-boy that its OK but boy-girl is sexual harrassment.

So if we want to label this kind of activity as sexual harassment, then we need to set up expected behaviours for boys vis girls. That is we must say things like Boy thats a girl treat her this way that is different to the way you would treat a boy in the same circumstances.

BUT that is not what we have been saying for the last 30 years. We, as a society, have been saying boys and girls are equal. Identical. No different. We not only let them play sport together, we encourage them to do this. Girls and boys play soccer together for example.

So its not sexual harassment. Its kids being kids.
Fair enough. I would say that a boy pulling down another boys pants is also sexual harassment. And, the punishment or involvment of law enforcement should depend on the specific situation (for instance, the punishment would be different for a couple of friends messing around vs. an unpopular kid being bullied).
 
Old 05-03-2009, 07:45 PM
 
309 posts, read 550,764 times
Reputation: 120
you guys are insane!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top