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Old 01-04-2008, 04:08 AM
 
Location: NJ
7,106 posts, read 13,260,676 times
Reputation: 3792
Quote:
Originally Posted by Full-Of-Wanderlust View Post
To the people saying to contact the police, and that it borders on a 'sex crime' are absolutely overreacting.

It's school. They're teenagers.

It's going to happen to someone. It's just unfortunate it's her. It's happened to me a few times. I've lost count of how many times i have seen it to other people.

Yes, it's extremely embarrassing. But you laugh it off. It's not worth getting worked up over. It'll be forgotten soon enough.

If you make it into a big deal, drawing lots of attention to it. And going as far as including the police - people are going to remember it for a very long time. And she'll be remembered as someone who can't take a joke.

Tell her to do it back to him or something...
I guess it was me..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
I actually wonder if it would be some sort of sexual assault. If it was my daughter, I would be writing a letter to the gym teacher, principal as well as a copy to the board of education. I would also speak to the officer in charge of the school if there is one, if not I would speak to someone at the police station.
She needs to read the student handbook. I've also said she should speak to the parents. If this could fit into a "sex crime" she would be doing the parents a favor by speaking to them. What's next, pulling up someone's shirt? What if that girl isn't wearing a bra?

For this, I wouldn't actually file charges but would want to make sure the kids parent's knew I could.. if that makes sense. Just like with my daughters iPod. I akso think it was a prank.. but these days kids don't learn or parents don't care. I can't tell you the number of kids I know that get in trouble at school and don't get punished at home.

Speaking face to face with the parents can be a huge help. It allows us to get a feel for them so that we can judge for ourselves whether they take it serious.

Anyway, it's two months after the fact, the boy was punished, it's over.

 
Old 01-04-2008, 05:51 PM
 
168 posts, read 314,956 times
Reputation: 101
Wonder if this incident was a result of the forced integration that exists within the WCPSS?
 
Old 01-08-2008, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Twilight Zone
875 posts, read 50,066 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by gubben1 View Post
I got a call from my daughters' middle school principal today.
During a gym class, a boy pulled her pants down below her knees. Sadly she wears less than covering undies, (know what I mean).
I feel so bad for her, she has loved school up to this point.
What do you guys think about that.
I don't know what state you're in, but in California touching someone without their permission is assault. I would involve the Police.
 
Old 01-09-2008, 06:48 PM
 
2 posts, read 20,652 times
Reputation: 9
Big deal they seen some skin.Part of going to school
 
Old 01-10-2008, 06:10 AM
 
Location: NY
7 posts, read 38,922 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by gubben1 View Post
I appreciate all of the support, I was,still am so angry, I'm glad I wasn't just over reacting !

I asked the principal what would be the boys punishment and he said he was not allowed to tell me, privacy act or some crap......hello, the boy blew that when he pulled down my daughters pants.
She is a very strong girl so I hope this will just pass. It guess it would have been a bit less dramatic if she didn't wear thongs !
So far she is a straight A student and on the school sport teams, I hope none of that changes, kids can be so dang mean !!!
I hope we will look back on this years from now and laugh.

Thanks again for the support and advice.
I'll keep you posted on the situation !
Privacy act- that is bullsh*t it was ur daughter, he pulled down her pants ,and she was the humiliated...um...yaeh i think thta gives you the right to know his punishment would be!! I would press charges. Middel school can be tough so she might have to stick with her friends and hope it all blows over I also agree with the "having her take martial arts" then next time she can kick that little-um..punk's-a**!!
 
Old 01-26-2008, 04:53 PM
 
1 posts, read 13,125 times
Reputation: 11
Default Be alert for consequences

To the parent of the daughter who had her pants pulled down at school:
As you can see from my handle name, the same thing happened to me a few times - my girl cousins used to pull down my pants and underwear, and make fun of me for being naked.

Please try not be too alarmed by what I have to say; Be calm; My advice is: watch for future signs of exhibitionism on the part of your daughter. Being undressed in a public setting, unfortunately, is a very shocking and alarming experience for the victim. As the person grows older, the feelings of nakedness that were experienced at the time easily become translated into exhibitionist tendencies. The victim starts to feel, "Wow! My private parts got me so much attention from all those people! Maybe it feels.... good!" In other words, the victim starts to crave the attention, rather than be embarrassed by it.

That is exactly the impact it had on me. As an adult, maybe unfortunately, depending on your point of view, I have developed strong exhibitionist needs because of what happened to me. The good thing for me is that the internet offers numerous adult websites where I can satisfy my need by posting photos of myself. So I can display myself to consenting adults on the internet, without risk of minor persons being involved. What I do is perfectly legal.

But is this the outcome you want for your daughter? I doubt it. I recommend that you explain to her clearly that what happened to her has nothing to do with sex or sexuality. Explain clearly that sex is a wonderful thing, connected with love only, and that what this boy did was deviant, wrong, and was possibly just a prank. (I think myself that the boy had sexual motivations, but I don't wish to be overly-analytical on this point). Be very supportive of your daughter, and emphasize the point about sex being associated with two people who love one another. In my case, getting my pants pulled down was probably not taken seriously enough by those around me. Especially since I am male, it was considered "cute", and just a prank.

Watch for signs of exhibitionism as your daughter gets older. At the beach or pool, are the swimsuits she is wearing a bit too skimpy? Does she seem to be wearing shorts that are just too short or too tight? If you notice signs like this, they can probably be attributed to her traumatic experience.

As I said, I am able to express my own exhibitionism in a perfectly legal manner (via adult interactive websites), but this is not in keeping with society's usual norms for sexual expression. I now have a "special need", and what I do would be considered very undignified by most people, and possibly brings risk of defamation of my character. (Actually, there should be no risk to me here, because adults are not supposed to use a thing like this against me - to do so would be against the law).

I am not a psychologist, but I have given you advice as a person who had experiences exactly the same as what your daughter had. Be very very supportive of her. Remember, although I am able to express my "special" sexual need in a completely legally-accepted manner, it is, nonetheless, probably undesirable to express one's sexuality in a way that is far outside of the usual norm of a one-to-one love relationship. Be very clear to your daughter about the beauty of a true love relationship, and emphasize that a love relationship is the only appropriate manner for her to express her own sexuality, as she gets older.

I hope that my "voice of experience" has been of help to you.
 
Old 01-30-2008, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 60,827 times
Reputation: 326
I'm also of the 'pick your battles' camp..I'd rather my daughter wear thongs than some of the other clothes I see kids running around in! THe boy was punished, and kicked off the team, which is good ( I grew up in Wake County, so I know the schools well!) The girl is holding her head high and seems to be dealing with it well...thats the most important thing!

When I was 18, maybe 19...my boyfriend (now hubbys) best friend did the same to me- embarrassing yes, but the fact that I had on a long shirt helped

We're all still friends- he meant it as a joke ( I think...lol) and no harm was done, and no bottom displayed!
 
Old 01-30-2008, 04:16 PM
 
4 posts, read 18,335 times
Reputation: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by gubben1 View Post
I got a call from my daughters' middle school principal today.
During a gym class, a boy pulled her pants down below her knees. Sadly she wears less than covering undies, (know what I mean).
I feel so bad for her, she has loved school up to this point.
What do you guys think about that.

If you wanted to, you could press charges against the kid. I happen to work with kids who act out sexually. This is not a laughing matter and should not be taken lightly.
 
Old 04-06-2008, 12:55 AM
 
7 posts, read 68,327 times
Reputation: 12
What you need to do ,Is get the police involved.
Press charges for sexual assult (which i guarantee you will win)

Then you will know what he was charged with ,more importantly
he will proabley be put on a suspension.

I hope you know ,that this is a extremley serious matter, because it was a male commiting a sexual act to a female. If the school adminstration tells u anything ,you can simply tell them to go f*** off.Let the police handle it.

As a boy i was once pantsed ,i was wearing white breifs . I will admit ,it was humilating ,but a male doing it to a female is unacceptable.If it had been a female doing it to a female ,then there would really be no charges that you could come up with.

Last edited by PugnamCommitere; 04-06-2008 at 01:13 AM..
 
Old 04-06-2008, 01:56 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,593 posts, read 21,902,161 times
Reputation: 6050
Call me over reactionary but I would be so out of control over this if this was my child.
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