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I watched carefully how the adults and kids interacted when gifts and cash were exchanged on Christmas and it was not a pretty sight. Rarely did anyone under 16 years old thank their uncles, aunts, grandparents or parents friends when they got gifts, gift cards or cash. They just moved on to the next gift or cash envelope. How sad.
The situation is so bad that my wife and I have stopped giving gifts to those kids.
My stepmom wanted to stop sending anything for Christmas or Birthdays if she didn't get a handwritten thank you note in the mail. I personally think this is a little extreme, and that a phone call with a sincere and spontaneous thank you should be enough, especially if we also sent gifts and cards and she does not mail thank you notes for those. Her point is that I'm doing wrong by not forcing my kids to send thank you notes in the mail. I think that by the time my kids are grown no one will send much of anything in the postal mail anymore.
But kids nowadays are seriously spoiled rotton and if no thanks of any kind were offered for gifts given, I don't think I'd continue giving them. My kids at least read the tags, thank the givers, and remember who gave them what.
I hear where you are coming from. My stepmother has yet to receive a thank you or thank you note from her biological grandkids. They will casually rip open gifts or envelopes, leave the money or gift card strewn on the table and move on to other things. I sort of ignored her gripes over the years until I finally met her grandkids over the summer. The boys were 18 and 19 and quite inconsiderate of everyone. During our visit, their parents had set out a lovely outdoor dinner table with lovely crystal, place settings, etc. These two cretins were kicking a soccer ball around. Their dad kept telling them move away from the table. They laughed and kept on playing even though they were annoying the crap out of everyone there. The ball finally flew across the table knocking over wine glasses, dishes and they just laughed. Total lack of manners.
I'm a huge believer in manner. We always do the handwritten thank you cards. Even though it may seem old fashioned, it means a lot to people. I always like receiving a thank you card from the teachers if I send in a gift. Just as I insist that my kids say please and thank you to people. My husband and I are sticklers for manners.
Nope not at all, kids these days are too self absorbed and I blame the parents for not teaching kids to say thank you . My parents used to remind us by saying "What do you say ? " . No ,parents these days are also too absorbed in their ipods and cell phones to watch after their kids much less teaching them anything but an entitlement attitude .
I watched carefully how the adults and kids interacted when gifts and cash were exchanged on Christmas and it was not a pretty sight. Rarely did anyone under 16 years old thank their uncles, aunts, grandparents or parents friends when they got gifts, gift cards or cash. They just moved on to the next gift or cash envelope. How sad.
The situation is so bad that my wife and I have stopped giving gifts to those kids.
Am I being too harsh?
I think it's weird that you 'watched carefully'. I was busy handing out gifts, laughing and enjoying the day. If exchanging gifts has brought you to this point it's time to change some things about your holiday get togethers.
I think it's weird that you 'watched carefully'. I was busy handing out gifts, laughing and enjoying the day. If exchanging gifts has brought you to this point it's time to change some things about your holiday get togethers.
I can do the talking, laughing and smiling as well as the observation. But thanks for calling mey actions at Christmas weird!
Last edited by AHomeSeller; 12-28-2012 at 01:19 PM..
In my family, the kids had such a huge pile of gifts that everyone was trying to encourage them to open them faster. My 3yo would open a toy and want to start playing with it, and everyone was like, oh just put it aside and open the next one! She still had several gifts left to open when everyone else was finished opening theirs, and everyone just up and left the room because she was "taking too long" by actually wanting to play with things as she opened them. So from my perspective, folks are teaching the kids to just rip through all the presents one after another, to just move on to the next and not even pay attention to what they just opened. Honestly, this is why I much prefer Channukah, because then they just get one present each night, and have time to enjoy and appreciate that gift. As opposed to their Christmas gifts that just got stacked up in the closet and they can't even remember what they got. I think that if we had fewer gifts and slowed down to take our time, we'd see more appreciation from the kids for what they got.
I can do the talking, laughing and smiling as well as the observation. But thanks for calling me weird!
She called what you did weird. Not you. Re-read it. (We all do weird things. Even the "normal" among us.)
Though it's obvious why you can't hire a relative to do work for you. You've got family members who are getting handed money. They have no need to work. Hire someone. If they don't even say thank you there is no way they are going to want to do any heavy lifting.
If kids are getting so many gifts they don't have or take the time to say thank you then they are getting way too many gifts. And we wonder why kids are so full of entitlement these days!!!!
I've noticed this, too, but not just with kids. I'm not so bothered if people don't seem grateful, but, as much as folks complain about the economy and "how hard we have it", I think this is really a symptom of people having so much stuff nowadays. Unless you give everyone an Ipad or another electronic doodad, your gift seems to rarely break the jaded expression on some people's faces. I remember living abroad and seeing people gratefully receive small, useful gifts like a bottle of shampoo or a pair of socks. (Of course the traditional food and fellowship played a greater role there than the gift giving). But such is the nature of change, I suppose. I just don't hope we don't come to the point where any gift less than a car is met with awkward silence!
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