High school dilemma

[no kudzu]

I wouldn't say it is anything more than the real nature of friendships. They don't have to last forever. people change, circumstances change and somebody you felt so connected to for a period of time can become like strangers after awhile. And I wouldn't say it wasn't a real friendship at the time. It's just that change happens.

As an adult I'm sure I'm not the only person who has had some friendships come and go over time. I have had to explain this to my children all the way from kindergarten to adulthood. My son't best friend all the time growing up is 180 degrees from where my son is politically, spiritually, professionally yet they still maintain a friendship (long distance) because of genuine caring for each other yet they both acknowledge they would not chose to hang out on a regular basis because they just don't have much in common at the age of 31.

Maybe these girls are jealous of your daughter's opportunity to travel and study abroad and are feeling inadequate. it happens. Encourage her to get into activities with other new friends and to understand friendships come and go and there will be time for new ones as she grows and especially when she goes to college.

[malamute]

I agree with everyone here -- and also it's possible that the OP's daughter has changed also. She has spent a whole semester of her life abroad and maybe seems too sophisticated now to really fit in. They may feel inadequate even more than they feel jealous, they may just not feel they have too much in common with her any more. She may now be in a whole different league, especially when she talks about the travel and her many experiences. Her old friends may just not relate with any of that.

[dijkstra]

Sounds like typical teenage high school girl drama to me. 9 times out of 10 there is a boy involved in some sort of way and one or more of the girls are jealous. Sometimes they just simply drift apart. Either way, it may just be time to move on. In another year or two, she will be off to college more than likely and making new friends.

[Ceece]

I can almost guarentee what happened is that while your daughter was gone she was the one everyone gossiped about, talked bad about, etc. It's a way kids "bond", by disliking the same thing/person. At that age, with everyone wanting to fit in, it's an easy habit to fall into (if you are talking crap about someone else then nobody is talking crap about you..etc) and a hard one to break out of. It happened to my daughter too and was really weird to witness. All it took was for my daughter to willing remove herself from the group for awhile (not to go overseas but to be involed in a school activity her friends were not a part of) and BAM! Outsider status. I'd like to tell you it blew over but it happened her Jr year and it didn't get better, partly because she knows how to hold a grudge, haha.. Her senior year had her being something of a loner and going outside of school to make new freinds and social connections. It wasn't until everyone was into their 20's and the "group mentality" was gone that almost everyone individually apologized for the way they treated her, and nobody can remember exactly why/how it happened.

The upside is that now she is considered really cool, one of the kids that didn't hang out that much, who went away right after graduation, so she's something of a mystery with an almost celebrity status thanks to FB, and always being called upon to show up to events and parties when everyone comes back into town. She rarely does .