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Old 01-20-2013, 12:36 AM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 6,846,583 times
Reputation: 3192

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My sixth grader and practically most of her middle school are doing Instagram. I see it as such a mixed bag. It's a nice way to make meaningful connections with other kids who might not be in your class, but it's also a breeding ground for hurt feelings, drama, and worst of all the kids use it to show off(christmas time was interesting with all the pictures of Mac Airbooks and Iphones, etc( I look at my daughter's account and I have seen things such as a group of girls posting pics of a sleepover party and then another girl is clearly hurt and asks why she was left out. Also, kids post things like: Rate Me and they ask whether they are beautiful, pretty, average, ugly... and the other kids answer. I have insomnia so I thinking about this. I also notice that many of the girls put on a ton of makeup and post "selfies"which are pictures of themselves. Thoughts?
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Old 01-20-2013, 12:58 AM
 
2,763 posts, read 5,729,311 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gimme it View Post
My sixth grader and practically most of her middle school are doing Instagram. I see it as such a mixed bag. It's a nice way to make meaningful connections with other kids who might not be in your class, but it's also a breeding ground for hurt feelings, drama, and worst of all the kids use it to show off(christmas time was interesting with all the pictures of Mac Airbooks and Iphones, etc( I look at my daughter's account and I have seen things such as a group of girls posting pics of a sleepover party and then another girl is clearly hurt and asks why she was left out. Also, kids post things like: Rate Me and they ask whether they are beautiful, pretty, average, ugly... and the other kids answer. I have insomnia so I thinking about this. I also notice that many of the girls put on a ton of makeup and post "selfies"which are pictures of themselves. Thoughts?
I find the whole instagram thing silly. I guess i just must be "old" at 28 and just dont see the point in it. A friend of mine has her instagram linked to facebook and posts the most random pictures. A picture of her "sleeping" when you can see her arm holding the camera, or a picture of something on the floor but all i notice are the disgusting soiled floor, things like that.
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Old 01-20-2013, 05:49 AM
 
66 posts, read 143,972 times
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It's just a bad idea. It allows exposure to social circles that kids are not ready for.
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:45 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,541 posts, read 5,453,791 times
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Originally Posted by WhyCantI View Post
It's just a bad idea. It allows exposure to social circles that kids are not ready for.
This^^

We don't allow any social networking for our kids at all. Kids have enough to deal with at school with the peer pressure. This just allows the peer pressure to be 24/7 with no escape during time with family at home.

Recently I was a chaperone with a group of four girls at my kid's school. Every year the school has community service days and students go in small groups to local non-profits to serve. These girls were seniors and I asked them their opinion of smart phones at school. Their response was that life would be much better without them. They said that it is very hard to connect with people because everyone is always on their phones participating in social networking and it seriously limits face to face relationships. They said that often if you were at an event and just waiting, if you wanted to talk to someone they were on their phone and there was nothing else to do, but to do the same thing.

I think this is very telling. In some ways social networking has been beneficial, but the constant connection (and the addiction) to these things is damaging. I've also noticed that the other "good kids" (smart, socially adept, good-head-on-their-shoulders kids) at school have the same restrictions as my kids.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,783,841 times
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no phone for our 10 year olds yet and i will hold off as long as possible. i will get them phones with no texting when i do get them. social network is a misnomer. nothing social about it at all.
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:09 PM
 
1,515 posts, read 2,262,848 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyCantI View Post
It's just a bad idea. It allows exposure to social circles that kids are not ready for.
Yes, I agree. I also limited my daughter's expose to these social sites. A few years ago, some pretty serious stuff was happening with one popular social networking site and it caused huge dramas at our MIddle School. These kids can say some pretty cruel things to one another and I would prefer to keep my daughter out of this.
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Old 01-21-2013, 03:04 PM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 6,846,583 times
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Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
no phone for our 10 year olds yet and i will hold off as long as possible. i will get them phones with no texting when i do get them. social network is a misnomer. nothing social about it at all.
Good luck with that. It's very hard to not be able to text your friends these days.
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Old 01-21-2013, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,541 posts, read 5,453,791 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gimme it View Post
Good luck with that. It's very hard to not be able to text your friends these days.
I agree with this. We have told my daughter no smart phones, but we are getting her a cell phone with texting ability. It's simply the way kids communicate these days. I don't see it as being any different as a telephone. We won't allow her to keep the phone in her room and stay up all night texting like some kids do. When she goes to bed the phone stays out in the public area.
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Old 01-21-2013, 03:41 PM
 
1,515 posts, read 2,262,848 times
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Originally Posted by gimme it View Post
Good luck with that. It's very hard to not be able to text your friends these days.
Texting is a privilege to be earned. I learned the hard way last year with my daughter. We got her a cell phone last year in 6th grade to contract us, especially if she had a late after school activity. We also gave her texting We started getting complaints from the school followed by some disturbing texts that I found later. Texting started interfering with her relationships, school work, and started getting her into trouble to the point of one family thinking about harassment charges.

She earned her cell phone back in 7 th grade. She still doesn't have texting. She does gripe about it along with no having Facebook, Twitter, etc. "All my friends have it, why can't I?" Is she happy? Nope however we are looking out for her best interests and keeping her safe. She is surviving without texting for now. We are a very computer geeky family and try to keep our electronics in a central place with appropriate software blocking programs in place. I do like Pegotty's idea about keeping cell phones in a central place after a certain hour, good idea.

I guess that as parents we are all her best judge of our kids. Some kids can handle these things responsibly, some can not. My daughter is one who can't and I'm hoping that she makes enough progress to earn our trust back.
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Old 01-21-2013, 05:02 PM
 
1,646 posts, read 2,763,569 times
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I used to think instagram was just a filter on the camera but recently found out it was social networking. I asked my daughter to show me what she does on instagram and now I am okay with it. I guess it is all about how much you trust your kid to do the right thing.
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