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One of my best friends in college met his wife on his wedding day (he was married when I knew him). They are still happily married thirty years later.
I've long believed that what most would call "arranged marriage" is preferable to the contemporary circus of random, hormone-fueled "dating" with all of the emotional and physical (e.g., diseases, abortions, fatherless children) carnage it entails. Arranged marriage in the Christian tradition, as opposed to the pagan and Islamic, requires the full consent of spouses - these are not forced marriages, but rather guided marriages in which the young willingly accept the greater wisdom and judgement of their parents. True, there have been abuses over the centuries, but were these abuses any worse that what we're doing now?
"Experts also ask whether there are lessons in how arranged marriages evolve that can be applied to nonarranged marriages in the United States. Among them is Robert Epstein, a senior research psychologist at the American Institute for Behavior Research and Technology ...
He found that one key to a strong arranged marriage is the amount of parental involvement at its start. The most important thing parents of the couple do, he said, is to 'screen for deal breakers.' 'They’re trying to figure out whether something could go wrong that could drive people apart,' Dr. Epstein said. Some couples who have entered into satisfying arranged marriages do attribute the success of their unions to the involvement of their parents."
While traditional arranged marriage may not become mainstream anytime soon, there is a fertile "middle ground" where young people enter into marriages with greater deference to parental wisdom and influence.
Last edited by WesternPilgrim; 01-25-2013 at 11:22 AM..
While traditional arranged marriage may not become mainstream anytime soon, there is a fertile "middle ground" where young people enter into marriages with greater deference to parental wisdom and influence.
Having this article should work out well for you as your children get older. You can use it as reinforcement for the idea that you ought to continue micromanaging your children well past childhood!
Having this article should work out well for you as your children get older. You can use it as reinforcement for the idea that you ought to continue micromanaging your children well past childhood!
^ ^ This.
One would also have to find spouses for the children who are willing to live on the family compound. Oh no that's cults, never mind.
Last edited by Zimbochick; 01-25-2013 at 10:18 AM..
"My takeaway from these conversations [with people whose marriages were arranged] was not that arranged marriages are always better, or that there are no problems within that system of courtship. Instead, the glimpse these couples gave me into their lives made me completely re-evaluate my understanding of what this institution is all about, and what it means to be in love.
If the secular understanding of love were true, then none of these couples should be happy. Yet not only did most of them have successful marriages, but they seemed happier than many people who had followed the typical American wisdom in these matters. They were the experiment that tested the secular hypothesis of love-as-a-feeling, and the hypothesis proved to be false."
I think most young people in this country would chose to stay single than enter into an arranged marriage. I can't think of anything more ripe for disappointment and abuse than arranged marriages. wmsn and dew- you crack me up!!!!!
Having this article should work out well for you as your children get older. You can use it as reinforcement for the idea that you ought to continue micromanaging your children well past childhood!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Pilgrim, I'm just too tired to play this game today.
Aren't the boys on the P&OC forum up yet?
Same **** different day.
yawn.
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