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Our 17 year old has a 3.6 gpa in a very demanding school, plays the violin and enjoys airsoft with his friends on weekends. He also plays video games. On school days he will play from 3:30 pm until 8:00 pm with a fast break for dinner (30 minutes). On weekends that time can easily double.
I say that he's wasting his life. Here's a brilliant kid capable of so much more than doing 30+ hours a week of video games. My wife seems to disagree. When I tell my son to cut back on the games he says "there's nothing else to do" and my wife agrees with him. And because he's playing the games on-line with friends she says that it really isn't game time, but more like social time.
So I ask the question. How much is too much? Some will say that any video game time is too much. I don't agree, but there has to be some reasonable limit. A couple of hours a day for a total of 15 hours a week? Still seems like a lot but better than 30+.
I would only worry if he's turning down activities to make sure his video play isn't disrupted. Personally, I don't see the appeal, but my sons all played them, although not to the extent of your son. Now that they are away at college, they didn't even bother to pack the video game systems after their first semester.
If he has friends, and his grades are good, I wouldn't make too much of an issue of it. With luck, he too will find other ways to fill his time.
Depends. I personally think that seems like a lot if it's going on every day. When is he studying?
I guess if he's got that much time on his hands and your son is saying, "there is nothing else to do" then I would say, "get a job".
Just my opinion. Our son was working by that age and when he did play video games if was a few hours here and there. And he's now like what Mattie said about her son's - now that's he's in college he rarely plays.
Hard to say if it's interfering with his life. He is physically fit and mentally very sharp. He sees his airsoft team mates once a week. But has no friends or activites with people other than that.
He will stop the games to do school work especially long essay papers which are required about twice a month. But he's so smart that he is able to most of his schoolwork in study hall at school. Most of his classes are AP classes.
He's not turning down activities per say. But I imagine that if so much time were not taken up with game play that the resulting "boredom" would drive him towards a hobby, reading or some other activity where he would use his imagination and intelligence. Too much to hope for?
Hard to say if it's interfering with his life. He is physically fit and mentally very sharp. He sees his airsoft team mates once a week. But has no friends or activites with people other than that.
He will stop the games to do school work especially long essay papers which are required about twice a month. But he's so smart that he is able to most of his schoolwork in study hall at school. Most of his classes are AP classes.
He's not turning down activities per say. But I imagine that if so much time were not taken up with game play that the resulting "boredom" would drive him towards a hobby, reading or some other activity where he would use his imagination and intelligence. Too much to hope for?
Just for clarification, are you the OP's spouse?
In the OP it was stated that he was playing with friends online. Do you know these friends, or are they random players? If they are kids from school, it could just be that is their "thing", and not so worrisome. If he's playing random people, then he may not be very socially adept, and I'd be inclined to force him out of his comfort zone.
I don't see the appeal, but I know many, many teens who do, so I wouldn't attach any labels to it.
At 17 he should consider looking for a part time job if he has so much free time.
And, if he's going away to school, don't let him take the game system. Some dorms have them in the general lounge areas, but at least then he would be mixing with fellow students.
Mattie, you asked what I was wondering. Little confused regarding who is who.
I would also suggest him not taking the gaming system to school. College can be a huge wake up call for even the smart and bright. It might do him well to ween off a bit because if he plays that much in college I can guarantee he won't breeze by and get good grades.
Our son would go through spurts of playing a game a lot for about a week when a new one would come out, but then go back to other things. Mostly that was completely redoing his jeep. So to answer would your son maybe do other things if he weren't gaming, most likely yes. My son also had a job which kept him busy.
Sorry for the confusion. I used my wife's computer for the last post and got her user name.
He only plays with friends on-line. Even though he just turned 17 he's still in the 10th grade. So lots of time left before college. Funny you mentioned cars. We have been working on a Jeep project together. But he's not into it enough to give it priority over the video games.
I'd say that he's been playing the games for long hours for a couple of years. No sign of losing interest. The game industry comes up with new products and they are very habit forming.
Based on the advice given here it does seem best to reduce his game time, but perhaps not quite so drastically as I had intended. But enough to give him some time with nothing to do. Thanks to all of you for the help you have given.
Our 17 year old has a 3.6 gpa in a very demanding school, plays the violin and enjoys airsoft with his friends on weekends. He also plays video games. On school days he will play from 3:30 pm until 8:00 pm with a fast break for dinner (30 minutes). On weekends that time can easily double.
I say that he's wasting his life. Here's a brilliant kid capable of so much more than doing 30+ hours a week of video games. My wife seems to disagree. When I tell my son to cut back on the games he says "there's nothing else to do" and my wife agrees with him. And because he's playing the games on-line with friends she says that it really isn't game time, but more like social time.
So I ask the question. How much is too much? Some will say that any video game time is too much. I don't agree, but there has to be some reasonable limit. A couple of hours a day for a total of 15 hours a week? Still seems like a lot but better than 30+.
In my opinion, 30 hours a week is far, far too many hours.Would you, as an adult with a full time job, be able to justify 30 hours a week doing something for fun? How is it different for a student going to school full time?
If he has "nothing to do" he should get a part time job or start volunteering at one or more places or improve his GPA or join some clubs or make dinner for the family every night.
Are you aware that students can not get accepted into many good colleges without extensive experience in one or more extracurricular activities? Also, it isn't unusual for good students to have 3 or 4 years of solid volunteer experience by the time they are 17 years old.
If my kids , or any of their friends, had time to spend an hour a day on video games (or TV) I would have been shocked. They were much too busy with other activities.
That is way too long for video games, I only let my kids play 3 times a week for no more than 2 hours each time and before they get to play, they must jog a mile on the treadmill. There is a lot to do, read, draw, play guitar or other musical instrument, basketball, baseball, other sports, homework, join clubs at school, there are so many other things to do.
My 14 year old son volunteers with the Y summer programs, this will be his second year, my kids also go to youth group, scouts, karate, dance, gymnastics, robotics, bowling, art club, Decca (for Honors students) and also at 17 a job should be had. My older kids all had part time jobs starting at 16.
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