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Old 02-11-2013, 12:01 PM
 
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a). At what age did you have your kids?

b). Do you wish you had them in your 20s whenever you think of how old you'll be before they're independent?

c). How do you feel when you come across those who are younger than you whose kids are older than yours?
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:23 PM
 
Location: IL
2,992 posts, read 4,270,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathseeker View Post
a). At what age did you have your kids?

b). Do you wish you had them in your 20s whenever you think of how old you'll be before they're independent?

c). How do you feel when you come across those who are younger than you whose kids are older than yours?
Had our first when I was 35 and last at 38. Optimally, I would have liked to have them a couple of years earlier, but didn't meet the right person, yet. I had a lot of fun until we had the kids, doing things that are hard to do with little people...hiking, lots of sports teams, traveling on a tiny budget, going out...so I am glad that i didn't have them in my 20's. I have lots of friends that had kids younger in life and they are a mixed bag...some regret having kids early and some are glad. I personally don't care either way when others have kids, everyone makes choices for their own life. Funny thing is, I am within a couple of years of most of my neighborhood friends with kids, so we are all at about the same stage.
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Old 02-11-2013, 01:24 PM
 
Location: West Texas
2,366 posts, read 1,153,790 times
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a. I am a father of four. The first was born when I was 36 and the fourth at 42. We didn't plan it that way but it's worked out great. I'm 51 now.

b. Do I wish that I'd had them in my 20's? No. I feel that most 20 year olds aren't sufficiently mature to handle parenthood. I know I wasn't. I was still busy with college and establishing my career, plus I was just too busy enjoying my youth. Something else to consider is finances. It's hard enough being in your 20's and keeping your head above water without having the added pressures of a wife and kids. So yeah, financial stability for my family in my 30's trumps the age that I'll be when my kids will be independent.

c. As far as how I feel when I come across kids who are older than mine? I feel happy for my kids because of the secure, loving environment that we've provided them. My wife and I shared the idea that once we had our first child, that it was no longer about us, but about them. Being a great parent is an act of selfless love. I know too many parents who had children early who aren't providing the love and nurturing that children need. Too often, it's the grand parents who shoulder the responsibility of raising their grand children because parents are too busy with school, jobs, or partying or a combination thereof.
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Old 02-11-2013, 01:26 PM
 
Location: San Diego
32,933 posts, read 30,188,716 times
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No, you shouldn't have kids until you:

A. Can afford to give them a comfortable life.
B. Have lived the whole sewing your oats thing.

B would cut way down on divorces.
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Old 02-11-2013, 01:40 PM
Status: "Phlegmatic." (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
23,493 posts, read 12,149,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathseeker View Post
a). At what age did you have your kids?

b). Do you wish you had them in your 20s whenever you think of how old you'll be before they're independent?

c). How do you feel when you come across those who are younger than you whose kids are older than yours?
a - 31 and 37.

b - Nope. I'm 61 now.

c - Doesn't bother me a bit. It's become increasingly common, as folks live longer, to have children later in life.

There's no doubt in my mind that I was a better, more patient father than I would have been had I started in my 20s (especially early 20s).
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Old 02-11-2013, 01:57 PM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,771,229 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathseeker View Post
a). At what age did you have your kids?

b). Do you wish you had them in your 20s whenever you think of how old you'll be before they're independent?

c). How do you feel when you come across those who are younger than you whose kids are older than yours?
Adopted our two in our 40's. Kids are 10 and 13 now.

Having kids in my 20's...no way. Didn't want them. Hubby and I were very focused on our careers and seeing the world. Wonderful vacations, trips to exotic cities at a moment's notice, fancy dining experiences, etc. I felt that we really lived a full life when we were younger and now I'm more of a homebody now. We still take vacations with kids (they are well traveled) but no where on the scale of what we did when younger. In fact, the stamina I had amazed me looking back on it later. I can say with total certainty though that I would not have been a good mother, I would have been resentful.

I don't really think of younger people with older kids. Many of my peers are experiencing the empty nest syndrome now or are already grandparents a few times over. Sometimes I do miss our freedom and get bogged down with my endless list of chores. But that is part of having kids. I consider them such a blessing and I'm so glad that they are parts of our life.
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Greater NYC
2,858 posts, read 4,713,218 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathseeker View Post
a). At what age did you have your kids?
33 and 35

Quote:
Originally Posted by pathseeker View Post
b). Do you wish you had them in your 20s whenever you think of how old you'll be before they're independent?
Uh, no. I was married to someone else then. Plus I was a completely different person in my 20s, unprepared for kids. Lastly, I was focused on my career as all of my peers were.

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Originally Posted by pathseeker View Post
c). How do you feel when you come across those who are younger than you whose kids are older than yours?
In this day and age this is RARE -- all my friends had kids at the same age I did or LATER. The only younger parents we meet with kids who are older than ours are 1-2 years younger than us, tops.
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:55 PM
 
Location: here
24,483 posts, read 28,837,213 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathseeker View Post
a). At what age did you have your kids?

b). Do you wish you had them in your 20s whenever you think of how old you'll be before they're independent?

c). How do you feel when you come across those who are younger than you whose kids are older than yours?
A) 30, 32

B) no, I won't be that old.

C) I think wow, they must have been young when they started! In my HS graduating class I have friends who have kids graduating from HS, and friends just having their first baby.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,056 posts, read 99,087,775 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathseeker View Post
a). At what age did you have your kids?

b). Do you wish you had them in your 20s whenever you think of how old you'll be before they're independent?

c). How do you feel when you come across those who are younger than you whose kids are older than yours?
34 (almost 35) and just 38.

No. The youngest one graduated from college just after I turned 60, DH was 61. We were both working. (Still are) Like someone else upthread, I was married to someone else in my 20s.

Like Kibbiekat, I think some of them must have been quite young to start their families; some started their families at a more "normal" time, like late 20s/early 30s. Some of my HS classmates have grandchildren who are approaching HS graduation age; some of the guys have young wives and kids much younger than mine.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,374 posts, read 25,673,367 times
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[a). At what age did you have your kids?First son was born when I was 26. Last child, our only daughter was born when I was 41. We have 6 kids.

b). Do you wish you had them in your 20s whenever you think of how old you'll be before they're independent? Had one of 6 in my 20's. 4 of 6 in my 30's, and 1 in my 40's. The first one in independent now. The last one will finish her BS in Nursing by the time I am 63.

c). How do you feel when you come across those who are younger than you whose kids are older than yours?I have friends that I went to school with who are grand parents now. I wish them well with that. On a side note our daughter wanted to know why she had old parents and her friends had newer parents.
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