Parenting scenarios: are the parents acting rightly in these cases? (divorce, pregnant)
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I can easily see each of these scenarios. And have met parents like those described. I suppose the most disturbing one is about the last one. The boy is obviously a gifted computer user to bypass the elaborate parental control system. The parent has anger management problems to smash a costly tablet. I suggest family therapy for this family, more so than the others...this is the start of a lot of dysfunction.
Cherry will end up pregnant at 16. Maybe we will see her on teen mom.
As for Hernanando...this is partially a cultural issue. Machismo and all that. Even if his "tutor" gets pregnant, he wont have to marry her.
What do you think of the parents' conduct in the following scenarios?
#1: Cherry is 14 years old and in the 9th grade. The teen's mother and her fiance allow her to have one drinking party every month, on the condition that all stay at home, nobody drives, and everyone sleeps over. Her mom's boyfriend occasionally smokes marijuana with Cherry with her mother's consent. The reasoning behind this permissiveness is all teens experiment with drinking and marijuana anyway (at least all her mother's friends when she was a teen), so why not create a controlled environment for them to do it in? Cherry currently has a 2.3 GPA for her first semester of high school, and her mother insists that she have at least a B- (2.7) GPA to continue to be able to have her monthly weekend get-togethers.
#2: Hernando is 16 years of age and in the 10th grade. His mother thinks that he is a virgin, but him and his father, who is separated from his mother but occasionally visits the house and is on friendly terms with her, often discuss their sexual exploits and know that Hernando actually lost his virginity at 13 and has slept with over a dozen girls. Hernando tells his father he has never gone without protection. He currently is hooking up with a 35-year-old wife (married to his father's despised co-worker) and mother of 3 with his father's knowledge. His father only says, always with a grin on his face, "Ten cuidado!" ("Be careful!")
#3: Wesson is a 12-year-old boy in the 6th grade who was gifted a tablet for Christmas. His parents, very cautious about their children's access to the internet, installed content filters at both the router- and device-level that were supposed to block pornographic websites. However, Wesson was able to root his device and physically unplug the router and reset the password to the default, enabling him to download hardcore, violent amateur pornography and access cam sites. He usually accessed them at night or when his parents were away, and always made sure to return the router to its default settings. Unfortunately, his 10-year-old brother, Kyle, stumbled upon pornography on his own tablet, and could not resist the urge to continue. Their parents found the pornographic files on Kyle's tablet and that night caught Wesson resetting the router. His father quickly flew into an almost-violent rage, literally smashed Wesson's tablet, and grounded him for the rest of the school year.
I think ALL of the parents in these scenarios should have had permanent sterilization surgery before they had children.
1. Inappropriate and irresponsible.
2. Inappropriate and disgraceful.
3. Handled in a manner that will not lead to discovery of additional misconduct. As a parent of a teen you have a to pack patience and respond in a manner that is appropriate but leads to them not being terrified of letting you find out the truth.
1) Is illegal where I live. Parents can be jailed for in-home drinking parties. Also, a common factor in many child abuse scenarios is "mother's boyfriend."
2) Not even going to answer this one.
3) I think Wesson's parents should be smacked for naming him Wesson.
As a parent of almost 8 yr old....I am quite stunned to hear this....
Why?
Many parents decide to destroy the aspect of "forbidden fruit" from beer, wine and other alcoholic beverages. And also because alcohol is so very prevalent in our society, some parents would prefer to teach the proper use of them, rather than allow teenage kids to teach their kids.
#1. It may be fine and legal for the parents to allow their own child to have a glass of beer or wine in their home. It is not alright to provide alcohol to other people's children -- that is actually extremely stupid to do. You need permission from those other parents to give their kids as much as an aspirin - you have no business at all giving them alcohol. The daughter's low GPA may have a lot to do with her getting stoned on pot and drunk.
#2. In the culture of machismo, that kind of thing is quite common -- except for the mother thinking her 16 year old "mijo" is a virgin. The 35 year old adulteress is over legal age of consent but the boy isn't. I worked with a couple women with sons like "Hernando" who were buying condoms for them when they were 12 and 13 years old, one would tell him that if he ever got some "ho" knocked up, she would pay for the abortion because she wasn't going to let him be trapped into child support.
#3. The parents are right to deny internet access -- parents need to stay 3 steps ahead of the kids when it comes to setting rules and following through with them. The kids knew they were breaking the rules and now they should face the consequences.
As a parent of almost 8 yr old....I am quite stunned to hear this....
I just don't believe that alcohol should be some kind of mysterious forbidden fruit. My 10 year old is 5'3" and wears a women's 6...her body mass is enough that a few sips of alcohol aren't going to make her tipsy.
In TX, you can take your child into a bar and order them a drink, or order them a drink with their dinner at a restaurant. You have to remain present...for example, you can't get up and go to the restroom while your kid sits there drinking.
Many parents decide to destroy the aspect of "forbidden fruit" from beer, wine and other alcoholic beverages. And also because alcohol is so very prevalent in our society, some parents would prefer to teach the proper use of them, rather than allow teenage kids to teach their kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
I just don't believe that alcohol should be some kind of mysterious forbidden fruit. My 10 year old is 5'3" and wears a women's 6...her body mass is enough that a few sips of alcohol aren't going to make her tipsy.
In TX, you can take your child into a bar and order them a drink, or order them a drink with their dinner at a restaurant. You have to remain present...for example, you can't get up and go to the restroom while your kid sits there drinking.
Many parents decide to destroy the aspect of "forbidden fruit" from beer, wine and other alcoholic beverages. And also because alcohol is so very prevalent in our society, some parents would prefer to teach the proper use of them, rather than allow teenage kids to teach their kids.
I just don't believe that alcohol should be some kind of mysterious forbidden fruit. My 10 year old is 5'3" and wears a women's 6...her body mass is enough that a few sips of alcohol aren't going to make her tipsy.
In TX, you can take your child into a bar and order them a drink, or order them a drink with their dinner at a restaurant. You have to remain present...for example, you can't get up and go to the restroom while your kid sits there drinking.
I am not being critical.... I grew up in a dry county so never saw alcohol around the house....my parents never drank....nor brothers/sisters. I dont drink and neither does my wife....so just something not used to being around. Never had a desire.
back to topic at hand...
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