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I get it totally though.
It hurts a parent to have to punish a child and watch them go through the anguish punishment causes because they know that feeling, but they know ultimately it won't hurt the child to be punished.
Trust me, if my daughter is like me and I have to take her cell phone away it'll suck pretty bad for me because I loathed having my cell phone taken away.
Trust me, most of us turn into our own mothers when we have kids, despite protestations to the contrary, expressed when we didn't have kids!
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I think it depends on the advice. If you're talking about say, infant feeding, sure, a childless health professional is way qualified to give said advice (although it changes all the time, LOL). It's the advice about changing behavior that seems to fall in the category of "you don't know what you're talking about". If it were so easy to change my child's behavior, don't you think I would have done so? I once heard a counselor say that if you're looking for a counselor for your kids, make sure the counselor has kids.
Sorry to reprise this thread, but it interests me ...
I'm childless by choice but have worked in education and child health for many years. I don't see that it's my place to comment about someone's parenting skills unless the physical or emotional health of the child is threatened, and then and only then will I intervene.
I did rip one of my newly divorced friends a new one when she started bringing strange men home in front of my goddaughter. Some of these guys were ... ew, NO. One was intro drugs. Godkid was distraught beyond belief, turned to me for advice, so yes, I voiced my opinion and told my friend that I was ticked off with her for exposing her daughter to this B.S., because this is just common sense that no one should ever have to point out to the parent of a child.
To this day, I still wonder if I overstepped my boundaries with my friend. I don't think that I did. It bothers me more that I felt the need to say something about it, because I am one laid back person. Very little disturbs me so much that I feel the need to speak out.
To this day, I still wonder if I overstepped my boundaries with my friend. I don't think that I did. It bothers me more that I felt the need to say something about it, because I am one laid back person. Very little disturbs me so much that I feel the need to speak out.
Your friend needed to be put in check. Good for you. I'd do it, too.
As a parent have you ever had someone who is not a parent critique your parenting skills or give you parenting advice?
What was your reaction?
I haven't had that happen much. But, I have a say in what happens in my personal space. As such, parent or not, other people also have a say in what goes on in theirs. If my son's behavior is disrupting your peace, I EXPECT you to say something, and I EXPECT you to hold me responsible.
I'm sure there aren't many parents complaining when a non-parent tells them they are doing a great job. "What? You're not a parent! What the hell do you know about how well I'm doing with my kids!?!?"
I'm sure there aren't many parents complaining when a non-parent tells them they are doing a great job. "What? You're not a parent! What the hell do you know about how well I'm doing with my kids!?!?"
Yeah, that's the only time they'll actually give any credibility to a non-parent's opinion.
Trust me, most of us turn into our own mothers when we have kids, despite protestations to the contrary, expressed when we didn't have kids!
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I think it depends on the advice. If you're talking about say, infant feeding, sure, a childless health professional is way qualified to give said advice (although it changes all the time, LOL). It's the advice about changing behavior that seems to fall in the category of "you don't know what you're talking about". If it were so easy to change my child's behavior, don't you think I would have done so? I once heard a counselor say that if you're looking for a counselor for your kids, make sure the counselor has kids.
Ill give DB full permission to divorce me and take the kids if I ever end up like my mom.
While I still love my mom she has always been closeminded and judgmental.
I haven't had that happen much. But, I have a say in what happens in my personal space. As such, parent or not, other people also have a say in what goes on in theirs. If my son's behavior is disrupting your peace, I EXPECT you to say something, and I EXPECT you to hold me responsible.
I'm sure there aren't many parents complaining when a non-parent tells them they are doing a great job. "What? You're not a parent! What the hell do you know about how well I'm doing with my kids!?!?"
Telling someone their kids are violating your space is one thing, telling them what to do about it, as in, "you should discipline that kid this way", and the like, is quite another. Like I said, if I could have changed some of my daughter's behaviors, believe me, I would have.
I'm sure there aren't many parents complaining when a non-parent tells them they are doing a great job. "What? You're not a parent! What the hell do you know about how well I'm doing with my kids!?!?"
LOL But of course, there is a difference between a compliment and something that's (or could be viewed as) a criticism.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melissa78703
To this day, I still wonder if I overstepped my boundaries with my friend. I don't think that I did. It bothers me more that I felt the need to say something about it, because I am one laid back person. Very little disturbs me so much that I feel the need to speak out.
That really isn't a non-parent issue. That's you being a good God-mother. I'm sure the child is very blessed to have you.
Trust me, most of us turn into our own mothers when we have kids, despite protestations to the contrary, expressed when we didn't have kids!
***
I think it depends on the advice. If you're talking about say, infant feeding, sure, a childless health professional is way qualified to give said advice (although it changes all the time, LOL). It's the advice about changing behavior that seems to fall in the category of "you don't know what you're talking about". If it were so easy to change my child's behavior, don't you think I would have done so? I once heard a counselor say that if you're looking for a counselor for your kids, make sure the counselor has kids.
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