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Old 02-18-2013, 06:32 AM
 
Location: The Mitten
751 posts, read 1,064,111 times
Reputation: 550

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A few weeks ago, my daughter has gone through her "change", if you catch my meaning. She's only 8 years old but we suspected it would be really early. The problem I'm facing is she won't talk to me, which isn't a thing unheard of, I'm a guy and she doesn't feel comfortable talking about these "changes" with me. I don't have a female in my house at all times but I did tell her if she has questions she doesn't want me to know, wright them down and we can ask who ever she wants.

My sister-in-law has been a great help. She lives about 5 blocks away and is able to take most calls when available. She's also more open or not-so-shy about wording exactly what's taking place. However, my other female siblings are little less useful when my sister-in-law is unavailable. My mother is just weird about these things and really doesn't like to talk about the "female anatomy", or any anatomy. My sister is unavailable most times due to college and finding a house.

Her mother lives about 4 hours away. She also likes to yell at me about everything but generally doesn't give a damn about our daughter; thus she lives with me.

Do I push my daughter to talk to me when my sisters are unavailable? I'm a little lost and have no clue what to do here on out.
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:02 AM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,711,659 times
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Does she know what is going on? There isn't that much to talk about if she knows how to take care of herself.
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:03 AM
 
12,913 posts, read 19,787,452 times
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Under the circumstances, why don't you make an appointment with her pediatrician and explain that your daughter is uncomfortable discussing puberty with you? Maybe a nurse practitioner could take the time to answer her questions if the doctor can't. I do think you should at least be present when it is discussed. Hopefully another woman can demonstrate that it is ok to be open about such matters in front of you.
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:07 AM
 
1,015 posts, read 1,689,732 times
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Good for you for being sensitive to your daughter, especially given her mother's attitude.

I can't imagine your daughter has questions that can't wait a day or two. Is it possible for you to arrange a set day and time for your sister in law to be available to address your daughter's questions? That way your daughter knows for certain when her questions will be answered, but you aren't churning around looking for someone to respond to each question.
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:11 AM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
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Maybe you could find an age appropriate book for her. Let he read it, and let her know you can answer any questions she may have, or find a woman who can. Also maybe buy her a variety of products at the store so she can choose what works best for her, sine you don't have the experience of knowing what might work best.
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,790,469 times
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The American Girl book is excellent, and sold at most stores:

Amazon.com: The Care and Keeping of You (American Girl) (American Girl Library) (0723232076666): Valorie Schaefer, Norm Bendell: Books

Many school counselors will talk to kids too if you contact them.
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:40 AM
 
Location: The Mitten
751 posts, read 1,064,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Does she know what is going on? There isn't that much to talk about if she knows how to take care of herself.
She does know, in general, what going on. She knows she changing or her body is changing and she knows now how to take care of herself. My sister-in-law talked about how to do so.
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,620,437 times
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Boy, she's started her periods at age 8? Man that would be hard to handle even for me and I'm almost too open about things like that. I started talking about puberty about that time but neither of my 10 year old daughters has started. I hope she wasn't scared. Had you prepared her in any way at all or was she kind of blindsided?

There are some excellent books. Can you read them with her without being embarrassed or too shy? That is what I would do and if your SIL or other trusted woman can be there too it would be ideal for the 3 of you to discuss the whole situation. Sorry to tell you but a big part of the puberty issue is that she is now physically prepared to have a child so very soon that aspect of starting periods must be discussed. I think education is the key and there are age appropriate way to discuss all aspects with her. Good luck.
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:27 AM
 
606 posts, read 763,717 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
The American Girl book is excellent, and sold at most stores:

Amazon.com: The Care and Keeping of You (American Girl) (American Girl Library) (0723232076666): Valorie Schaefer, Norm Bendell: Books

Many school counselors will talk to kids too if you contact them.
I was going to recommend the same book upon reading the OP. I have a daughter the same age and she has read and enjoyed it, and she asked a few good questions afterwards that indicated to me that the book had been reassuring and informative to her.
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:44 AM
 
6,455 posts, read 9,504,080 times
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Go ahead and get her a book and tell her you could answer any questions she may have, or she can talk to another female. But if she already knows the basics, why push it? Let her ask when she wants to know. Just because she got her first period, doesn't mean she has to have a sit-down right now.
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