SAHM families - am I really expecting too much?? (15 years old, girlfriend, complaining)
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I'm going to say it straight out: Get over it. You're a "stay at home mom". It's NOT that hard!!! When my daughter was a toddler, I never wanted to leave her with babysitters or daycare. We couldn't live off my husband's salary so I had to work. He worked days and got home at 5:30pm. I worked evenings/nights from 6pm until 2am. I would get home around 2:30am and not get to sleep until 3:30 or 4am. I STILL had to get up EVERY morning by 6:30am. I had to deal with a toddler ALL DAY LONG --- going to the laundromat, cookiing, making lunches, doing grocery shopping, keeping her entertained, etc etc etc etc. and then go to work.
I rarely "got a break". I had no family to take her for an hour, no less a weekend. All I did was walk around like a zombie, barely getting any sleep, still doing everything you do (and having to go to a laundromat rather than having the convenience of a washer/dryer in my home) AND working 40+ hours per week (yes, I had to work overtime to bring in extra money)
Yet working people all over the world put on their big boy/big girl pants 5 days a week, wake up very early, and put in long days of work. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I consider myself somewhat of a night owl, but I got up at 4:15 a.m. for many years for a job. I've also worked jobs that were 11 pm to 7:30 am. I'm not THAT much of a night owl, but you do what you have to do.
That was a response to someone getting up at 4am to grocery shop and make meals because she found it to be her relaxing time, that's not a requirement for being a big boy/girl, that's a choice that's unlikely to work for a night owl who actually doesn't NEED to get up until 7am.
I can't rep you again, but this is a beautiful post describing a family that works well together. Love it!
Kayanne, I think that anyone of us could look around at other families and say, "I am SO grateful that my life is so good. After all...it could be like __________'s life."
My children didn't have a father who screamed, hollered or hung out in bars or laid around drunk. He didn't waste money, selfishly buying himself toys. He did not do drugs. Sometimes, he was unemployed and I was the one who was working to pay the bills. He took wonderful care of our children. He wasn't actually as "efficient" at running the household as I was, but then again, I had far more practice at it than he did.
Marriages are funny. You can either always find something to complain about or always find something to be grateful for. Married couples who always seek perfection and have a selfish outlook on life, do not stay married for long. Again....it's all about choosing your attitude.
I'm going to say it straight out: Get over it. You're a "stay at home mom". It's NOT that hard!!! When my daughter was a toddler, I never wanted to leave her with babysitters or daycare. We couldn't live off my husband's salary so I had to work. He worked days and got home at 5:30pm. I worked evenings/nights from 6pm until 2am. I would get home around 2:30am and not get to sleep until 3:30 or 4am. I STILL had to get up EVERY morning by 6:30am. I had to deal with a toddler ALL DAY LONG --- going to the laundromat, cookiing, making lunches, doing grocery shopping, keeping her entertained, etc etc etc etc. and then go to work.
I rarely "got a break". I had no family to take her for an hour, no less a weekend. All I did was walk around like a zombie, barely getting any sleep, still doing everything you do (and having to go to a laundromat rather than having the convenience of a washer/dryer in my home) AND working 40+ hours per week (yes, I had to work overtime to bring in extra money)
Stop complaining. You have it made
Why exactly wasn't your husband doing some of that housework when he came home in the evenings? Did your husband not care for the children when you went to work? No one who has a husband that refuses to be a parent to his own child "has it made," and the child certainly doesn't have it made.
That was a response to someone getting up at 4am to grocery shop and make meals because she found it to be her relaxing time, that's not a requirement for being a big boy/girl, that's a choice that's unlikely to work for a night owl who actually doesn't NEED to get up until 7am.
Maybe I've gotten mixed up in these hundreds of posts, but I thought the OP had complained about having to get up at 7:30, especially on the weekend. If she wants some "me" time, getting up earlier is one way to do it. People all over the world do what they have to do. Well, most of us do anyway.
Why exactly wasn't your husband doing some of that housework when he came home in the evenings? Did your husband not care for the children when you went to work? No one who has a husband that refuses to be a parent to his own child "has it made," and the child certainly doesn't have it made.
Of course he took care of my daughter when I went to WORK 40+ hours per week (NOT being a "SAHM") He would do "some" things around the house but he did stuff so halfarsed that I would have to redo it anyway so it wasn't really a help.
I seriously doubt the OPs husband is refusing to "be a parent" to his son. Her entire post reeks of WHINE and exaggeration. If she doesn't like it, she has an alternative: Get a job, save her money, dump the loser, move back to her hometown, find another job, and have her/his parents babysit while she works 40 hours a week. Let's see how she likes working full time AND taking AND taking care of a toddler.
Yes, she has it made. Doesn't have to work, gets all her bills paid, has a child and a home. In return, all she has to do is clean the home, do laundry, cook, shop, take care of her child. Poor thing. My heart breaks for her.
Maybe I've gotten mixed up in these hundreds of posts, but I thought the OP had complained about having to get up at 7:30, especially on the weekend. If she wants some "me" time, getting up earlier is one way to do it. People all over the world do what they have to do. Well, most of us do anyway.
Her complaint was more about that her husband insists on sleeping until 10am on weekends, and will often ask her to leave the house with her son so he can have quiet time. She has asked if she can sleep in on her birthday, or mothers day for a treat while he watches their son, he whines complains and guilt trips her and calls her lazy. She does get up at 7am all week, every week, I don't think asking for dad to get up to watch his own child a couple times a year on a weekend is too much to ask, IMO he is the one who needs to put on his big boy pants, no father in my family, or circle of friends could get away with that behavior.
Of course he took care of my daughter when I went to WORK 40+ hours per week (NOT being a "SAHM") He would do "some" things around the house but he did stuff so halfarsed that I would have to redo it anyway so it wasn't really a help.
I seriously doubt the OPs husband is refusing to "be a parent" to his son. Her entire post reeks of WHINE and exaggeration. If she doesn't like it, she has an alternative: Get a job, save her money, dump the loser, move back to her hometown, find another job, and have her/his parents babysit while she works 40 hours a week. Let's see how she likes working full time AND taking AND taking care of a toddler.
Yes, she has it made. Doesn't have to work, gets all her bills paid, has a child and a home. In return, all she has to do is clean the home, do laundry, cook, shop, take care of her child. Poor thing. My heart breaks for her.
She is asking that he take care of his child on his own once in awhile, she is not asking that he do ANY housework.
She is asking that he take care of his child on his own once in awhile, she is not asking that he do ANY housework.
I think the OP is exaggerating. Maybe she should give him ideas of what to do with the child: Petting zoo; arcade that is geared toward young kids (ie: Chuck E Cheese's); aquarium; sports game; park; etc etc etc.
Again, if he's "that bad", why bother staying with him?? Why not get a job and move back to hometown and make a life for herself and her child?? I'll tell you why: He's not "that bad" and she has it made.
You know, whenever I think about how I had it when my daughter was a baby/toddler/young child, I cry at how horrible it was. Honestly. Half the time, I didn't know if I was coming or going. I would throw up meals because my stomach was in such knots from all the stress. I felt like a horrible mother for feeling like a zombie and not having 100% energy to do everything I should have been doing with her. I felt as though I was literally losing my mind and going crazy. I ate food that I would never normally eat and I gained 100+ pounds from it. I hated my life and contemplated suicide on more than one occassion but never followed through because my daughter needed me.
I had no one to help me. NO ONE... NOT A SINGLE PERSON. My parents died when I was young. My husband's parents are both deceased. His siblings live far from us; I had no siblings. I HAD NOT ONE PERSON TO HELP ME WITH ANYTHING.
Do I have ANY sympathy for the OP? Hells to the no!!! She's a SAHM. Big freaking deal. Get a job and WORK 40 or more hours a week and then come home and deal with a toddler and housework and cooking and cleaning and shopping and laundromat, etc etc etc......
The OP has it made and she needs to wake up and realize that.
I think the OP is exaggerating. Maybe she should give him ideas of what to do with the child: Petting zoo; arcade that is geared toward young kids (ie: Chuck E Cheese's); aquarium; sports game; park; etc etc etc.
Again, if he's "that bad", why bother staying with him?? Why not get a job and move back to hometown and make a life for herself and her child?? I'll tell you why: He's not "that bad" and she has it made.
You know, whenever I think about how I had it when my daughter was a baby/toddler/young child, I cry at how horrible it was. Honestly. Half the time, I didn't know if I was coming or going. I would throw up meals because my stomach was in such knots from all the stress. I felt like a horrible mother for feeling like a zombie and not having 100% energy to do everything I should have been doing with her. I felt as though I was literally losing my mind and going crazy. I ate food that I would never normally eat and I gained 100+ pounds from it. I hated my life and contemplated suicide on more than one occassion but never followed through because my daughter needed me.
I had no one to help me. NO ONE... NOT A SINGLE PERSON. My parents died when I was young. My husband's parents are both deceased. His siblings live far from us; I had no siblings. I HAD NOT ONE PERSON TO HELP ME WITH ANYTHING.
Do I have ANY sympathy for the OP? Hells to the no!!! She's a SAHM. Big freaking deal. Get a job and WORK 40 or more hours a week and then come home and deal with a toddler and housework and cooking and cleaning and shopping and laundromat, etc etc etc......
The OP has it made and she needs to wake up and realize that.
I've had many things happen in my life than were worse than what others have experienced, it doesn't mean I go around telling people who are struggling with whatever problems they are going through that they simply exaggerate, and that they actually have it made because I had it so much worse. That's just rude!
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