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They play video games, they watch TV, and they are surrounded by uncouth kids in both the middle school and yes, also the elementary school. I've been shocked by things my 5th grader has come home and told me, that he has heard in and around school. I have to correct them constantly on the casual comments that come from their gaming associations, someone is forever "owning," "pwning," or indeed "raping" someone else in those online multiplayer games. Interestingly, since this particular case came to public attention and we had several very serious talks about it, not only about the concept of consent, but about how it is equally unacceptable to be a bystander or indeed not act to prevent something like this...those casual rape comments have dwindled in their vocabulary. It has become a little more real for both of them.
That's an excellent point. Video game culture is terribly entrenched in misogyny & rape culture. If there's any indication that you are a female online you get swamped with all kinds of sexual propositions, rape jokes, & sometimes worse. Teens who play the games hear/see that & they become really desensitized to it.
There's also a lot of homophobic statements that are made.
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Originally Posted by Radio Flyer
I've thought more on this...It's the peer pressure thing that scares me the most.
Since my sons don't have sisters, I'm going to use their female cousin in a scenario. I'm going to ask them how they would feel if she were a victim. I know that they wouldn't partake, nor would they stand by and watch. They would defend her or at least call for help.
I think we have to make this hit home. Every girl is someone's sister, cousin or daughter.
Also, I want to be clear about this...Because being a female myself, I hope to God, that I'd never blame a victim. But, parents of daughters need to be blunt also.
Please teach your girls that No has to mean No. When a No actually means Yes, a young man will certainly be delighted, THIS TIME. But what about next time? What about the next girl? Her No might really mean No. Then what?
Last edited by Radio Flyer; 04-18-2013 at 08:16 PM..
Also, I want to be clear about this...Because being a female myself, I hope to God, that I'd never blame a victim. But, parents of daughters need to be blunt also.
I AM a victim. And I recognize that blaming the victim is real. But I do feel that people come to weird conclusions about how to educate their daughters based on this. It is not blaming the victim to make our daughters aware that these DB's exist, are real and won't take good care of them. The risks are real. And kids should know about them. It is not some round about message that makes the behavior ok. The behavior is real and it is there whether I think it is ok or not.
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