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I am a highly educated woman though I don't make the income I could be if I were a man . I have 2 kids, so their priority comes first, ie less hours at work, not starting my own business, I could make triple the income. My husband does well, but I could make much more if we decided to not have kids. I find it interesting that mothers of girls are so pushy when it comes to their daughters, they want them to pursue doctorate degrees. But something I wish my mother had taught me is to learn how to budget, learn how to talk to service people to get the best deals, learn how to raise a child. Those things would have been more useful to me, and I had to learn the hard way, may have damaged our finances and children since I was so dumb in common sense. So I'd rather have my son marry a street smart woman than a boookworm like me. I work on my sons everyday saying how they will be the breadwinner and they need the grades to pursue higher education to make the money. So far so good, one wants to be a physician , the other an attorney. If I had a daughter I would teach her how to find that man, how to budget, how to raise kids and be loving, not be stuck with a lifetime of student loans just to be a doctor, when really, if they want kids, their lifestyle will depend on their husband's income and how they best budget a household and raise their children.
You would also want a daughter to know that when her man comes home at the end of a long working day, she should be dressed attractively with her hair and makeup done, and have a nice cold drink ready for him. She must not complain or bring up any conversation about what might have occurred to her during the course of her day--it is simply unimportant. She can share that with her girlfriends on the phone when they are ironing the pillowcases. No, she must listen intently to her husband talk about his day, and soothe him if he reveals any difficulties he may have encountered with a boss or clients. She should have a hot, well-balanced meal ready for him, and after she cleans up the dishes, she should watch for signs that he might be ready for her to fulfill her other marital duties. She might even want to encourage him by starting with a nice neck or foot massage.
I am a highly educated woman though I don't make the income I could be if I were a man . I have 2 kids, so their priority comes first, ie less hours at work, not starting my own business, I could make triple the income. My husband does well, but I could make much more if we decided to not have kids
OK? Good for you?
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I find it interesting that mothers of girls are so pushy when it comes to their daughters, they want them to pursue doctorate degrees.
Pushy? Would you call mothers of sons "pushy" for encouraging their sons?
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But something I wish my mother had taught me is to learn how to budget, learn how to talk to service people to get the best deals, learn how to raise a child. Those things would have been more useful to me, and I had to learn the hard way, may have damaged our finances and children since I was so dumb in common sense
I'd encourage parents of either gender to teach their children about budgeting and child rearing. Modeling these things in your own family is a great way to start.
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So I'd rather have my son marry a street smart woman than a boookworm like me. I work on my sons everyday saying how they will be the breadwinner and they need the grades to pursue higher education to make the money. So far so good, one wants to be a physician , the other an attorney. If I had a daughter I would teach her how to find that man, how to budget, how to raise kids and be loving, not be stuck with a lifetime of student loans just to be a doctor, when really, if they want kids, their lifestyle will depend on their husband's income and how they best budget a household and raise their children.
Sooo...you're ok with your sons having student loans? Those big ol' loans could impact if they are indeed able to support a family on their income alone you know.
And what if a girl (or her parents) can afford to pay for law school or medical school...why are you assuming a girl would have different student loans than a boy?
Edited to add:
Wonder if a girl doesn't get married? Or doesn't want/have children? She should have been denied her aspirations simply because she was brought up to expect a man to take care or her?
Last edited by maciesmom; 03-23-2013 at 09:36 AM..
My daughter will graduate in May with her BA. I am not "pushing" her to get her doctorate. She wants a Ph.D because she wants to teach linguistics at the college level. She's looking into programs and has applied for two that have financial assistance. She already "found" a man who wanted to propose to her when she was 20 years old, and she ran like hell the other way.
I certainly would not tell her that her lifestyle will someday be based on her husband's ability to be a breadwinner. She saw me pay all the bills and support her when she was growing up--she'd know I was lying.
Sorry folks, but this is reality, I've made a lot of mistakes in life, just wish I was guided in the right way so I could suffer less and thus have my children suffer less as a result. Maybe there was a reason I wasnt given a girl, since I wasnt guided properly. Not only do I teach my sons to be the breadwinner, I talk them about being a loving husband and father, which they see in our marriage. They see us partner and teammates, us against the world. I do tell them to seek out girls that make good grades, because you never know what happens in life, she may have to use that education to support the family, but my oldest has already stated he wants to make a good living, have kids, and have his wife stay home with the kids. BUT life always throws curveballs, I am liberal in my views, I am flexible, I will teach that too. I have had to work since before they were born, and they suffered for it. That is why I say these things, have a good day and I know we all want to raise our children in a loving environment, hope your girls wont suffer like I did, thats all.
I am a highly educated woman though I don't make the income I could be if I were a man . I have 2 kids, so their priority comes first, ie less hours at work, not starting my own business, I could make triple the income. My husband does well, but I could make much more if we decided to not have kids. I find it interesting that mothers of girls are so pushy when it comes to their daughters, they want them to pursue doctorate degrees. But something I wish my mother had taught me is to learn how to budget, learn how to talk to service people to get the best deals, learn how to raise a child. Those things would have been more useful to me, and I had to learn the hard way, may have damaged our finances and children since I was so dumb in common sense. So I'd rather have my son marry a street smart woman than a boookworm like me. I work on my sons everyday saying how they will be the breadwinner and they need the grades to pursue higher education to make the money. So far so good, one wants to be a physician , the other an attorney. If I had a daughter I would teach her how to find that man, how to budget, how to raise kids and be loving, not be stuck with a lifetime of student loans just to be a doctor, when really, if they want kids, their lifestyle will depend on their husband's income and how they best budget a household and raise their children.
It doesn't have to be one way or the other...we women can do it ALL.
Sorry folks, but this is reality, I've made a lot of mistakes in life, just wish I was guided in the right way so I could suffer less and thus have my children suffer less as a result. Maybe there was a reason I wasnt given a girl, since I wasnt guided properly. Not only do I teach my sons to be the breadwinner, I talk them about being a loving husband and father, which they see in our marriage. They see us partner and teammates, us against the world. I do tell them to seek out girls that make good grades, because you never know what happens in life, she may have to use that education to support the family, but my oldest has already stated he wants to make a good living, have kids, and have his wife stay home with the kids. BUT life always throws curveballs, I am liberal in my views, I am flexible, I will teach that too. I have had to work since before they were born, and they suffered for it. That is why I say these things, have a good day and I know we all want to raise our children in a loving environment, hope your girls wont suffer like I did, thats all.
You are educated, you have a loving husband and two healthy, bright sons. How is it exactly you are suffering?
In going over your posts, it actually sounds as if you are more bitter that your husband isn't making more money, and you didn't/aren't staying home with your kids.....you might want to think about exactly what emotions you are projecting onto your sons.
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