Move Son From Parents Room To His Own Room And Crib. Help!

[ADVentive]

Originally Posted by CONNOR'SMAMA

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN EXPLAIN MY POINT YOU WILL BE THE PERSON THAT IS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND MORE BECAUSE YOU ARE LIVING THIS, HOW WOULD YOU DO IT WHEN IS TIME??
THANKS FOR THE READING MATERIAL

Well, I can tell you that I won't be having her Cry It Out. And it's not because I don't have the "strength", it's because I don't believe in doing that to my child. I think that there is a reason that all of your instincts as a parent tell you to go to your child and comfort him when he cries. That does not mean that you have to give your child everything he wants, it just means not abandoning him to cry by himself. I think that he needs to trust that you will take care of him, and leaving him to cry alone breaks that trust. I think there is a huge difference in letting your child cry alone, not knowing if you hear him or care, vs letting your child cry, but being present through the crying to reassure him that you will be there for him.

What I do is put my daughter to bed in her crib in her room at night. I pat her back to sleep. If she doesn't want to lay down, then I occupy myself in her room until she is ready to lay down and then I go pat her. Sometimes this involves her crying. I remind her that I am there and that when she lays down I will come and pat her back, and I stay in the room where she can see that I am there. I then periodically remind her of this if she still doesn't lay down. If she is getting really hysterical though, I do pick her up because by that time it's not going to work. Most nights, there is no crying and she just lays right down. Some nights she does cry, however I never leave her to cry alone.

Currently, when my daughter wakes in the night I go get her and bring her into bed with me. I like sleeping with her, and this gives me the opportunity to share the first part of my night with just my husband, and the second part of the night with my daughter. I am hoping that as she gets older, she will naturally sleep longer and therefore the period of time she sleeps in her room will get longer. If this doesn't happen naturally, I will try a modification on Jay Gordon's night-weaning plan:
Changing The Sleep Pattern In The Family Bed
I will just gradually move back the time when she can come into bed with me. So, if she wakes before say midnight, then I will put her back to sleep in her room, but if she wakes after midnight, then I will take her to bed with me. Then just gradually move that time later and later.

I think that the suggestions above by karen_s were also good tips for full-time co-sleepers (as opposed to half-time co-sleepers like me ). You move the child's bed further from your own gradually until they are in their own room. The reverse of that is also popular. You sleep on a bed in the child's room and gradually move yourself back to your own room. I know a lot of co-sleepers on the internet, and for a lot of them, their child is just ready to move into their special new big kid bed without a fuss around age 3-4. It just depends on the kid I guess, but it doesn't have to be traumatic, and I don't think you have to be in a rush.

Here is an article you may like:
Toddlers in the Family Bed (http://www.todaysparent.com/toddler/sleep/article.jsp?content=1284622&page=1 - broken link)

And here are some other people's experiences on the transition:
urbanMamas: Transitioning from Co-Sleeping to Own Bed

[CONNOR'SMAMA]

Originally Posted by ADVentive

Well, I know a lot of co-sleepers on the internet, and for a lot of them, their child is just ready to move into their special new big kid bed without a fuss around age 3-4. It just depends on the kid I guess, but it doesn't have to be traumatic, and I don't think you have to be in a rush.

You are soo right thank you so much for this reassurance i think i am rushing in to this because I feel guilty, everybody has an opinion about this and keep asking when is he moving into his own bedroom and DH wants him to move because of that but at the end in the middle of the night when he's crying I'll be the one next to his door with my hearth coming out of my chest suffering about him crying.
i started to read some of the suggested books about co-sleeping and honestly up until now I didn't know much about it, is not a bad thing if it suits your life, everybody is different and if you choose to be that way with your kids no one should be criticizing.
the communication that you have with your child is very important and that's probalby the key to not let this be a traumatic experience for him, I agree that I don't want to let him cry and loose the trust because on top of all I want him to know that I'll always be there for him and he never has to suffer alone, in my inexpert opinion that is what moms are for. So now the problem is really mine and I have to stop letting others pressure me about the way I raise my child and take it slowly, he'll be ready when is time for him and me and thats how him and I will be happy people ALL the time.