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I used to think that bad parenting was more associated with people that come from lower socio-economical classes or people that uneducated, but I was wrong. Everytime I go downhill skiing, I can't express how frustrating it is, we are talking about kids that are at least supposedly upper-middle class but many of these kids have absolutely no clue what thank you or excuse me mean. It is almost like you say "Excuse me", they look at you like you are an alien from another planet. How many times have I come close to hitting some of these kids that just decide to sit in the middle of the hill where you can't see them when you are coming down the hill at 40 mph. I can almost anticipate the reaction of one of these idiotic parents "You hit my child, now I am taking you to court". I have yelled at many of these kids and I don't really care, if parents dont care to do their jobs, somebody else will have to.
Too many parents want to be their child's friend and IMO, you can't be both.
It is a pet peeve of mine when kids are brought to adult functions. When my kids would ask why they couldn't go, I just explained that it's just for grown ups. And then asked them asked how they would like it if I butted in and wanted to play with their friends when they come over. When they would say, "Well, Jimmy is going." I would just tell them that Jimmy's mother and father were wrong to let him attend.
The thing about kids is- they will believe that they have to obey you for a long time if you start out that way. I think the key is to have them believe that for as long as you can and, hopefully, once they realize that they don't have to, they will do it because it is the right thing to do and they respect your authority.
I've never been my kids' "friend", but always their mother. The two are completely separate entities, and believe me, kids want a real parent, an authority figure. I grew up with a father who talked to me about everything, but left too much of the decision-making to me. Luckily, I was already on the right path, but in essence I raised myself. I didn't do that to my kids, and even though we've clashed on several occasions, I believe they respect me. Respect is more important than love, especially when they're teenagers!
Yes I agree, a parent has to be a parent, not a good friend. While I know my two boys arent perfect, they are respected for their feelings, and most of all they respect my dh and I. They may not be gentlemen all the time, but they will know how to treat a person beit a male or female.
Sometimes it seems like we are doing our children an injustice ; making them have manners, making them account for their actions etc.
But then just now my 8yr old is handing out candy to trick or treaters ; there is a group of wee kids ; about 2-3 , and my son is not waiting for them to put their hand into the bowl ; he is putting two candies into every little pail for these kids. My kids are asked to go to their friends houses a lot ; they are welcome anywhere ; the reason ; many parents say that they are so good, so gentle, not brash or anything.
I know they arent perfect, but sometimes it shows that we are doing an ok job.
Too many parents want to be their child's friend and IMO, you can't be both.
It is a pet peeve of mine when kids are brought to adult functions. When my kids would ask why they couldn't go, I just explained that it's just for grown ups. And then asked them asked how they would like it if I butted in and wanted to play with their friends when they come over. When they would say, "Well, Jimmy is going." I would just tell them that Jimmy's mother and father were wrong to let him attend.
The thing about kids is- they will believe that they have to obey you for a long time if you start out that way. I think the key is to have them believe that for as long as you can and, hopefully, once they realize that they don't have to, they will do it because it is the right thing to do and they respect your authority.
I couldn't agree more. I have friends that bring their kids to adult parties. The kids went to school with mine. These kids would be up until midnight, hearing the adult conversations, around those parents that smoke and around drinking! They did NOT belong at an adult party. We parents would like to enjoy a few drinks and talk without things we wouldn't with the kids around! That's why we didn't bring our kids!! They shouldn't hear some of the things being discussed, don't understand, then repeat the wrong thing to the other kids at school!!! I don't like going to these functions when I know they are going to be there. It's wrong that these parents put their friends in that situation.
It is a pet peeve of mine when kids are brought to adult functions. When my kids would ask why they couldn't go, I just explained that it's just for grown ups.
I agree too, but there s such a gray area as to what different people think is adult-only. R-rated movie? Adults. Smoking & drinking 'til midnight? Adults. Formal event where only the couple is on the invitation? Adults.
But sometimes kids have to go to appointments and sometimes you might want to try a new restaurant. I suppose the practical litmus is, Can your kid behave there (or is it probable,anyhow - no one's perfect)? Then go.
But then I know people who are just intolerant of the notion of a child in their presence. An acquaintance complained to me about stay-at-home mothers who take their kids to fast food restaurants at noon, when all the workers are trying to grab lunch quickly. They can go anytime, she said!
My step daughter decided to raise her daughter to be independent with no discipline. The girl just turned 6 and is a terror that no one really wants to be around. I feel bad for her but her mother will not allow anyone to say anything to her while she destroys things and does what she feels like. The poor thing wasn't even potty trained until she was 5!! She is in kindergarten now and her mother expects the teacher to sing special songs and such to get her to sit or to behave. Needless to say the mother and teacher are not getting along. I really think it is a form of abuse for the child. She can't along with others since she does not know how to behave. The mother uses it as an excuse for "how hard" her life is since her child is so "difficult."
I know someone like that, too. What a brat she is raising, and she think's everyone else has the problem. Who is going to be hurt? The kid! Kids are not born knowing how to behave. That is why God gave them parents. To TEACH them right from wrong. "Gee, wonder why my kid has no friends and we aren't invited anywhere?" I wonder.......
But then I know people who are just intolerant of the notion of a child in their presence. An acquaintance complained to me about stay-at-home mothers who take their kids to fast food restaurants at noon, when all the workers are trying to grab lunch quickly. They can go anytime, she said!
Some people will never be satisfied.
It's true, though. They can go anytime. When I lived in Austin, restaurants there would be packed to the gills at 12pm with stay-at-home-moms having loooooooong lunches with their other stay-at-home-mom friends...while we working stiffs were told we'd have to wait 20-30 minutes for a table.
I just didn't get why they couldn't go at 11am or 1pm. A lot of companies aren't flexible on lunchtimes, but if you're a SAHM I'd guess your schedule is more flexible than mine is.
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