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Old 04-18-2013, 06:11 AM
 
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Have you considered forming another troop that meets on a weekend/evening schedule? I don't know what the logistics of forming a new troop would be/whether or not that would be practical for you, but you might find that there are other families in your community who would much prefer those hours - and for a variety of different reasons, too.

Last edited by springfieldva; 04-18-2013 at 06:20 AM..
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Old 04-18-2013, 07:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michele powell View Post
There are only two working moms the other mom who would prefer weekend has a smaller child and likes weekend so as not to have to find a sitter. I live in an area where not many moms work.
I am someone who frequently has to organize these sort of events. I am on the executive committee for our school's booster club. There is never a day that works for everyone. Never. No matter what date or time you choose someone gets left out. If I had to plan something for a large group and only two people could not make the date I would consider that a success.

It is really hard to be the person who has a very different set of needs than the rest of the group because the group will do what is best for the majority. I would see if one of your daughter's friend's mother would take her on the trip.
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Old 04-18-2013, 07:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
Thankfully there's a lot of give and take in my community regarding working moms. If activities need to be scheduled in the week, it's a given that the SAHM's will help out with the kids of the working parents. It's not rocket science, just part and parcel of being part of a community.
I agree. When my kids were smaller and I was at home I often had extra kids with me on trips so that they could go. They were my kids friends and I didn't mind. If I had a conflict I had other friends that would help me out with my kids. We all needed help every now and then and were happy to help others if it meant we had other trustworthy people to help us out.

Even though my kids are older I still help out some of the band moms who live far from school (we live 5 minutes away). I always have a few extra teen boys at my house when the kids have band events and have to be at school very early in the morning. Those same moms will keep my son overnight if my husband and I can't be home. We all help each other. We are not best best best buddies but we like and trust each other enough to help the group function.

The OP should invest some time in finding a group of people she can count as part of her support group.
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Old 04-18-2013, 08:27 AM
 
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Did it ever occur to you that the troop leader was looking at the costs of weekday rates vs. weekend rates? Amusement and water parks are usually more expensive on the weekends, as well as more crowded.

With there being only TWO working parents in the group, I am sure that she did consider that fact, but it can't be the ONLY factor on why things are chosen the way they are. I have been both a working mother and a SAHM and I don't/didn't expect someone scheduling events to always consider if I was currently working or not working on when to plan events. If I wanted to plan events according to my schedule, I would have put myself into the position of being the person who does the event planning.

If going to the waterpark means so much to you, then use a vacation day and go. If not, let the babysitter take her (why you have a babysitter you will trust with your child, but are worried about said babysitting driving her an hour or so away is beyond me) or ask another parent if she could take your child. You have three options, well, really four. Your daughter can miss the event.
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Old 04-18-2013, 08:27 AM
 
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Former scout leader here.

I think OP is assuming that every working parent works traditional hours, which isn't the case for many I know. It can be incredibly hard scheduling events, that much is true.

I think ultimately, as others have said, the best option would be to start your own troop.
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Old 04-18-2013, 08:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I agree. When my kids were smaller and I was at home I often had extra kids with me on trips so that they could go. They were my kids friends and I didn't mind. If I had a conflict I had other friends that would help me out with my kids. We all needed help every now and then and were happy to help others if it meant we had other trustworthy people to help us out.

Even though my kids are older I still help out some of the band moms who live far from school (we live 5 minutes away). I always have a few extra teen boys at my house when the kids have band events and have to be at school very early in the morning. Those same moms will keep my son overnight if my husband and I can't be home. We all help each other. We are not best best best buddies but we like and trust each other enough to help the group function.

The OP should invest some time in finding a group of people she can count as part of her support group.

Good post. OP needs to remember also that having a support group means that she has to actively participate and do things for others also.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by annerk View Post
Yes. You made the choice to have children and be a working mother. Do you not get vacation time? Just take it as half days to spend the time with your child.
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Originally Posted by annerk View Post
Skip the family vacation. Your choice.
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Originally Posted by annerk View Post
The other option is to volunteer as a troop leader so you can have more say in the activities.
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Originally Posted by annerk View Post
Have you even brought this to the attention of the troop leader? If there are more working parents who want the weekend, then maybe just organize your own event. This just doesn't seem to be the big deal you are making it out to be,.
It's good to see evolvement here. People should always attempt to creatively solve problems rather than take a herd mentality, especially for parents who are raising young ones. It sets a good example imo.

Anyhow, thanks OP for starting this thread. It's something I will keep in mind for the future. I wonder if there are more professional family centric organizations in some regions of the country compared to others. That's something I will look into.
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Old 04-18-2013, 11:10 AM
 
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Here's how I see it...the troop leader is the one doing pretty much everything for the troop, as that is their responsibility and most of the troop leaders take this on willingly. Having said that, being a volunteer leader of any group is a LOT of work and takes many hours (uncompensated). It often is a thankless job and why many people avoid being one like the plague.

First, they do what needs to be done to become a leader (I have no direct knowledge for girl scouts, but figure they must go through some sort of application, approval and orientation?). They then set up, organize and procure everything needed for all meetings, fundraisers and events. A place to hold the meetings must be obtained, agendas must be planned, materials must be gathered/bought and snacks/drinks must be provided. Planning any art/craft takes knowledge, time, effort and money. Determining what badges should be worked on and providing the opportunity for the girls to satisfy that achievment also takes knowledge, time effort and money. The leader is in responsible for ALL of that.

For fundraisers, completely separate from the meetings, the leader is responsible for getting out the information, ordering the goods(cookies in this instance), receiving the order, sorting and handing out the order, collecting the money, balancing the books, distributing the money as required and finalizing the end results. Trust me when I say handling a fundraiser, especially a large one, is highly demanding on your time and can be quite exhausting.

They are also responsible for coming up with ways to reward the members. This means locating a viable, enjoyable and affordable place. The leader most likely looked for something that fit the reward and came up with the water park. Then, they probably checked with the park for group discounts and discovered that they do not offer group discounts on weekends since they are considered very high traffic days. It is very possible the water park offered a few choices of days and the leader picked those that would work best first for HER because without her it won't happen and then offered up those choices. My guess, based on years of scheduling group trips, is that Tues/Wed were the days to choose from, with perhaps Thur being an alternate. These are the days that are frequently less crowded at places that attract large groups. So, bottom line is the days offered as choices may the best overall deal for the group no matter what everyone's schedule may be.

Additionally, the troop leader is the one working hard to get the information out, set up the trip and try to make it work for as many as possible, secure the available discount, arrange transportation (even if it's just each parent driving) and will probably be there at the gate making sure everyone gets where they need to go. They are the ones who will keep an eye on the entire group, make sure everyone is having fun, not getting sunburned and getting drinks and food as needed. They will spend their time 'working' far more than enjoying this trip.

As much as they enjoy their troop, love what they do and care for the girls, the last thing they need is to feel guilty because the best they could do is not good enough. So, think about all they do, why they do it and how much your daughter benefits from it all. Think about how much time they spend and effort they put forth and how much your daughter benefits from that as well.

Unless you can put forth the same kind of time and effort as a leader, you should not expect to be considered more so than the leader, who is putting for the effort and taking the time for all the children. Especially as a volunteer. So, yeah, you shouldn't be upset they didn't offer up a weekend.....
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Old 04-18-2013, 11:15 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,489 posts, read 50,728,421 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
Have you considered forming another troop that meets on a weekend/evening schedule? I don't know what the logistics of forming a new troop would be/whether or not that would be practical for you, but you might find that there are other families in your community who would much prefer those hours - and for a variety of different reasons, too.

^^^

This is what we did. I was moving back to my hometown when my daughter stared kindergarten--a place where I'd say 95% of the mothers are SAHM--and unbelievably, NO ONE ELSE WOULD TAKE THE DAISY (Kindergarten age) TROOP. So, I agreed to do so, signing up 17 Daisies and holding the meetings at 6 p.m every two weeks. Right away, some woman who had signed up her kid came back to the town manager whining that her precious special little angel simply HAD to be in bed by 7:30 and that I was holding the meetings too late. Then YOU take on a troop during the day, DUH.

Anyway, by the time the girls were ready for first grade and Brownies, two of the mothers of girls in my troop had decided that maybe they COULD be troop leaders after all and started an after-school troop, taking those who preferred afternoons into their troop. It was great, because I really had too many kids for one troop. I just would not turn any girl away because the troop was too large, and at that age the level of activity works out so that you can have a large troop, but not so much as they get older. I also made friends with another working mom of one of the girls who became my co-leader. We still had a couple of SAHMs in our troop, but for the next 7 years, the majority of the troop consisted of daughters of working moms. It worked out very well, and at times we did activities with the after-school troop. The girls are now in their early 20s and many are still friends, and I found a nice network of other working moms that supported one another in many ways over our daughters' growing-up years that I might have never met if I didn't say "yes" to taking on that Daisy troop.
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Old 04-18-2013, 11:22 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,489 posts, read 50,728,421 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
Here's how I see it...the troop leader is the one doing pretty much everything for the troop, as that is their responsibility and most of the troop leaders take this on willingly. Having said that, being a volunteer leader of any group is a LOT of work and takes many hours (uncompensated). It often is a thankless job and why many people avoid being one like the plague.

First, they do what needs to be done to become a leader (I have no direct knowledge for girl scouts, but figure they must go through some sort of application, approval and orientation?). They then set up, organize and procure everything needed for all meetings, fundraisers and events. A place to hold the meetings must be obtained, agendas must be planned, materials must be gathered/bought and snacks/drinks must be provided. Planning any art/craft takes knowledge, time, effort and money. Determining what badges should be worked on and providing the opportunity for the girls to satisfy that achievment also takes knowledge, time effort and money. The leader is in responsible for ALL of that.
Good points. Usually you do get help/solicit help from your co-leader and other mothers. For example, we had a SAHM in the group who was very well organized and able to do a lot of paperwork and run daytime errands that the co-leader and I could not do because of work hours. And believe me, I work in the public sector, and I'm telling you that Girl Scouts is right up there with any other bureaucracy when it comes to paperwork!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
For fundraisers, completely separate from the meetings, the leader is responsible for getting out the information, ordering the goods(cookies in this instance), receiving the order, sorting and handing out the order, collecting the money, balancing the books, distributing the money as required and finalizing the end results. Trust me when I say handling a fundraiser, especially a large one, is highly demanding on your time and can be quite exhausting.
Nope nope nope. A troop leader can never be the cookie mom. Them's the rules! (I know you said you never did Girl Scouts).

I think the OP's biggest problem is just that she's in a minority, and the scheduling never does work out for everyone so you have to go with the majority. I agree with others who say she should start her own troop and perhaps attract other working moms or those whose schedules are freer evenings and weekends. It is work, but it's only for a few short years, and it is worth it.
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