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You asked a question, right? You seemed to care so much for the little kid, yet you didn't care ENOUGH to say anything or lend your hand to help the parent you want to ridicule now? So in short you really didn't care at all. You said. . . .
Fear stopped you from intervening. Not the people around you, regardless of what they would have thought.
I'm not saying what the parent did was right, I despise people hitting their children in public (in a way I believe it effects their self esteem, that's another discussion however) but your reaction was just about as helpful as everyone else's. Don't come on the forum and talk about what you saw, hoping others will agree with you, when you didn't do anything to begin with.
That's why I quoted Coltrane, especially that part of his post. He answered your question yet you're too closed-minded to see that.
Yes I asked how other people would've reacted to the situation. Not what I should have done. You do understand the difference, right?
Coltrane would be an on-call psychologist for the abusive parents of NY.
Kudos to him for that, but I got no energy or time be one.
I also asked how people could report such a abuse. And no, he didn't answer that.
As others have said, sometimes you just have to mind your own business and let stupid people who (as bellakin rightly said) "got no business in being parents" do what they do.
You probably also think I'm a racist liberal for starting this thread, and that's fine.
But I just posted to describe and all too common occurrence, and to get a feeling of other people's experience on the subject. It seems to me that most people reaction didnt focus on what I did or failed to do, but on the corporal punishment or mindset of the abusive parent.
You can disagree with me all you want, I couldn't care less.
Last edited by likeminas; 04-20-2013 at 05:00 AM..
Nothing wrong with ass whooping a misbehaving kid. Stop listening to all this "intellectual" advice from the Society of Doctors with No Patients.
Oh..and when you have children..if you ever do....you'll understand.
There sure is something wrong with hitting a child. A lot of adult hostility comes from people who, as kids, were hit by the people whom they should love and who should be their role models. They often grow up being suspicious of and hating all authority.
Some kids should not be taken into public places unless they can behave. Some parents should not have kids until they are in a place where they can rear them properly.
Better to bond with the child at an early age. If a kid loves and respects you it will try hard to obey. If you have not build that bond and must resort to physical violence you've lost your kid, you've given up your parental responsibility.
Corporal punishment demonstrates to a child that there are consequences and boundaries to bad behaviour. A smack in the ass will sure keep a kid from wandering in the street far more than a fruitful, relavant, open and granola bar discussion ever will..
Wait..just wait...until yours is two.....
Corporal punishment teaches a kid hatred and resentment. It also stores in his memory the 'just you wait' need for retaliation.
If you have made the effort your child will love you. Once there is that bond, the child will want to obey. Same with dogs and even cats, especially when you get them young.
I think there are a lot of parents who don't take the time or trouble to cultivate a truly healthy relationship with their kid. Maybe they just don't know how to be parents.
I actually think there should be some sort of public information campaign - like the anti-smoking commercials. I doubt that your personal intervention would change this person's future actions as a parent. If anything, people seem to dig in to their attitudes when they feel they are being personally criticized.
It's tragic though to see the way some people treat their kids. You can debate corporeal punishment in general, but everyone has witnessed behavior that clearly crosses the line. How can one grow up to be a well-adjusted human being when they are treated like crap by the people who are supposed to love them the most?
The only people you see on the rare occasion that violently spank their kids in public are poor frustrated single mothers who are not up to the task rearing a child..who really have had no role model other than their own parent or parents that spanked them.
These days people have more respect for dogs than kids. My second daughter has a very large and powerful dog. When you are walking the dog sometimes tried to over power you and have it's own way. Her boy friend uses a simple or British way of maintaining control..He takes the side of his foot and give the dog a little kick to the hip...not hard but just enough to let the mutt know who is boss.
When people see this they freak out as if it is abuse- It is a dog- a large powerful dog that if you do not take the role of alpha male- the dog will take the role and control YOU.
Children in some cases will attempt to take control- especially if the two parents are not a united front. The child will play one parent against the other. There is one rule that is conservative that must be followed if you are a couple. That the child does NOT come first..that your husband or your wife come first. Everything after that will fall into place..it's called order . When you hear a woman or man say "My child comes first" over their partner. They will never be a respectable family...and the kids will never be well behaved and respectful.
The child will learn from observation. If they see the mother respect the father and the father respect the mother- the child will respect both.
The spanking issue need not even be considered if the parents united. The kid will mimic good behavior if they see good behavior. You want to teach your child early to be reasonable and to be easily reasoned with.
There is one universal law- no person should damage the flesh or the body of another person through assault. It's difficult and takes patience to train your kids to be civilized..but it is worth it. Don't hit them- or if you are a woman - Never strike your husband and the husband should never lay his hand on the wife...you want to be a classy family not a trashy family.
Abuse comes through ignorance. Just because your biology is equipped to have kids does not mean that your mind and temperament are ready. Or, your finances.
Last edited by Jaded; 04-22-2013 at 11:42 AM..
Reason: Removed orphaned/deleted quote
There sure is something wrong with hitting a child. A lot of adult hostility comes from people who, as kids, were hit by the people whom they should love and who should be their role models. They often grow up being suspicious of and hating all authority.
Some kids should not be taken into public places unless they can behave. Some parents should not have kids until they are in a place where they can rear them properly.
Better to bond with the child at an early age. If a kid loves and respects you it will try hard to obey. If you have not build that bond and must resort to physical violence you've lost your kid, you've given up your parental responsibility.
Real power is the giving of power. Hitting is domination of the worst kind. It is not the granting of power - it is the robbing of power. If you want your kids to have personal power and want them to be successful they must learn that real power is the generation of power- the giving of power. If you rob them of their childhood dignity they will learn that power is the stealing of the power of another....that leads to failure as an adult.
Children are not "property of their parents." I do agree with you, however, that corporal punishment is wrong. However, while children are the parents responsibility, not the community, if a child is being abused, it is the government that steps in to protect the child. I am a liberal and I think that is a reasonable situation.
The product of your body is your property- Your body is YOUR property so logic dictates that what comes from your body belongs to you. If the child is not your property then the child is the property of the state. Which would make us like a herd of cattle. When a cow and bull create a calf..the calf belongs to the rancher?
The only time the state should step in is if there is real harm being done to the child and the parents are crazy. Then we have the problem of so-called state controlled child protection. More kids are harmed while being wards of the state then they are while in their parents care.
Getting back to physical property rights when it comes to human beings. There are some ancient laws that state. The body of the woman belongs to the husband and the body of the husband belongs to the wife. This is basic stuff. If you do not belong to each other the only alternative left is that you belong to EVERYBODY. No woman has the right to have sex with the husband of another woman. No man has the right to have sex with the wife of another man. Liberals scoff at this. You see this in family court these days - Where adultery is not considered a crime against the person.
A woman can separate from her husband and be having a relationship with a male neighbor and the court will still force the husband to hand over his money to the estranged wife in the form of support. THEN some of this money works it's way into the hands of the interloping male...it's not really a fair or just system.
Family is sacred - children are sacred. The state nor any private individual has the right to bring about a disruption to that family. As I mentioned - the child is yours...but abuse of that child or the abuse of a weakening older adult is where those rights to ownership stop. In the mean time people should mind their own business. One call from some do-gooder liberal informing the authorities that a family is abusing their child (in their estimation) can result in the total ruination of that family. So you had better be careful. To call authorities because you feel that a child is not being cared for according to YOUR standard can be unfair and intrusive.
A middle class person who witnesses the frustration - ignorance and desperation of the poor ...had better realize that your interference may cause more harm than good. It's easy for middle class people with security to loath the poor who are stressed and desperate.
The poor will always be with us...so will the stupid. Stupid people are just as entitled to breed as smart people- to reproduce is a human right regardless.
"Oh no, someone disagreed with my parenting techniques, the only logical answer is to shoot a bus full of completely innocent people! Yeah, that'll show them"
The product of your body is your property- Your body is YOUR property so logic dictates that what comes from your body belongs to you. If the child is not your property then the child is the property of the state. Which would make us like a herd of cattle. When a cow and bull create a calf..the calf belongs to the rancher?
The only time the state should step in is if there is real harm being done to the child and the parents are crazy. Then we have the problem of so-called state controlled child protection. More kids are harmed while being wards of the state then they are while in their parents care.
Getting back to physical property rights when it comes to human beings. There are some ancient laws that state. The body of the woman belongs to the husband and the body of the husband belongs to the wife. This is basic stuff. If you do not belong to each other the only alternative left is that you belong to EVERYBODY. No woman has the right to have sex with the husband of another woman. No man has the right to have sex with the wife of another man. Liberals scoff at this. You see this in family court these days - Where adultery is not considered a crime against the person.
A woman can separate from her husband and be having a relationship with a male neighbor and the court will still force the husband to hand over his money to the estranged wife in the form of support. THEN some of this money works it's way into the hands of the interloping male...it's not really a fair or just system.
Family is sacred - children are sacred. The state nor any private individual has the right to bring about a disruption to that family. As I mentioned - the child is yours...but abuse of that child or the abuse of a weakening older adult is where those rights to ownership stop. In the mean time people should mind their own business. One call from some do-gooder liberal informing the authorities that a family is abusing their child (in their estimation) can result in the total ruination of that family. So you had better be careful. To call authorities because you feel that a child is not being cared for according to YOUR standard can be unfair and intrusive.
A middle class person who witnesses the frustration - ignorance and desperation of the poor ...had better realize that your interference may cause more harm than good. It's easy for middle class people with security to loath the poor who are stressed and desperate.
The poor will always be with us...so will the stupid. Stupid people are just as entitled to breed as smart people- to reproduce is a human right regardless.
Your logic is all over the place. You state that "your body is YOUR property" but then state that the child's body is the property of the parent but logically it should follow that the child's body is THEIR OWN property, not the property of the parents.
You also state that a wife's body belongs to her husband and vice versa and that if they don't then the only alternative is that they belong to everybody but you already said that someone's body is their own property so logically if they do not belong to their spouse they belong to themselves, not to everybody.
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