What to do with people who beat/slap/hit/spank their children in public? (punishment, newborn)

[likeminas]

Originally Posted by 2O13

some kids need a good smack ........... thats the problem now you can't hit kids and they turn out to become Monsters.

This utter nonsense.
Research consistently shows that hitting/slapping/spanking or whatever you wanna call is counter- productive and ineffective as a disipline method.

In more civilized societies, corporal punishment of a child at a public or private setting (including at home) has been outlawed.

This is a vicious cycle, as many of the people who were spanked and hit as children have grown up to be aggresors themselves.

Here's a stement from the The American Academy of Pediatrics:


"The more children are spanked, the more anger they report as adults, the more likely they are to spank their own children, the more likely they are to approve of hitting a spouse, and the more marital conflict they experience as adults"

[Oleg Bach]

Also: Regarding the video. Where do these guys get the confidence to walk around in broad daylight brandishing weapons? Where is law enforcement? My last comment is that poor un-educated people are usually the ones who spank their kids...but the reality is - It does not take a village to raise a child- The child whether liberals like it or not- Is the property of the parent - not the community and not the state...still - hitting your kids does not pay off. I never struck my four kids and they are all fine respectable adults that love me.

[jcoltrane]

Originally Posted by likeminas

Today I went to get a cup of coffee at a McDonald's in Brooklyn and as I was ordering I see this woman verbally abusing her child.

Define verbal abuse.

By whose definition and standard is such determined? Yours?

I don't know what the child did...

Precisely! Nor do you know the reasoning, intent, nor the value and/or lesson the parent is seeking to instill. Nor are you aware of the circumstances of that child's environment and life. Is the manner of raising and disciplining children *universal*?

If not, then who are you to judge?

...but she was getting pretty upset and at one point she spanks him pretty badly. The child who must've been around 3 yr old started crying inconsolably. And she goes like "don't f.. cry now. You was asking for it"

I do find the comments disagreeable. Parents should not interact with children on a even level, as if they, the children, are responsible for their actions, rather than the parent. It is an immature abdication of parental acknowlegment, most often exhibited by very young parents. Generally, I suspect that "self responsibility" was fostered upon the parent, prematurely, as a child. A cycle repeated by all too many, but often necessary in an environment where a child must learn self responsibility and to fend for itself as early as possible.

(A trait which slave mothers needed to instill as immediately as possible. *THINK*)

/dmf!

I felt so bad for the little defenseless kid. I wanted to intervene....

Really? To what true and effective extent and end? A public scolding and rebuke of the parent? To what purpose? To assuage your conscience? To sooth your affronted sensibilities? Surely, you don't think anything you are/were willing to do would in any way create a better circumstance for that or any child, do you?

Really, unless you were fully ready to assume FULL and COMPLETE responsibility of that child into adulthood, then what are you doing? Your entire notion is one of hypocracy! A feigned caring, for if it were true, then, indeed, you would not hesitate to step up.

Of course, such was never and is not your intention. That parent has to deal with that kid and that kid's life. Put food in its mouth and clothes on its back. Not you.

Consequently, one should keep their pious and biased sensibilities to themselves. They should S T F U and mind their own business.

Btw, if you think foster care, institutions, and public care is the answer, do some homework and think again. Overall, such is worse than the average poor parenting!

....but I was highly outnumbered in that environment.

What a truly prejudiced mindset! By whom were you outnumbered???? Truly a racist comment, and the mindset of a coward! Also, proving my point entirely! Your conscience is probably beating you up, cause you were wrong, is that why the post?

Nobody said a word and to my surprise most people reacted as this a mundane incident.

Mundane. Far from child abuse, particularly when you do not why! What it is, is YOU seeking to impose YOUR set of valuations upon a circumstance and environment which you are not a part, do not comprehend, and ultimately take no responsibility for. Hypocracy.

You see. You wished to REBUKE, becaue you were offended. If you truly were concerened, and had some b***, you w/h attempted to strike a conversation with the parent. You w/h put yourself in the parent's mind and though what has brought her to this way?

You might have said:

"It is really tough raising children. Does the child often react this way? Have you tried this or that? This is what I have found to work, try this. I am an experienced parent, if you need any advice, here is my number, call me anytime. Let me pay for your meal."

THAT is an example of *true* concern and action! Non Judgmental! Comprehending the state of that parent and child's environment. Not super imposing your set of values onto another, of whom you know nothing and have no comprehension!

So, that brings me to the question of, how would you reacted to the verbal and physical abuse the child was receiving?

Answered.

Is there a quick and effective way to denounce these people?

Opps, there it is AGAIN! "These people", can you not contain your LIBERAL prejudice and racism? Apparently, not!

Oh, there it is AGAIN! "Denouce", there it is. You have no true intention of concern whatsoever. Simply the affront of your sensibilities. What help is that?

Liberal cowardness.

/jcoltrane

I also have seen similar incidents on the subway.

Grab your B****, step up, or **** and mind your business. Either that, or find the empathy to walk in the shoes of others, but that w/b too human, and you're just a Transplant.

*****

Transplant, one who seeks to *transplant* and impose his alien values and ideas upon an environment which is not his own.

****

Btw, my intention is, indeed, to rebuke.

[30to66at55]

Nothing wrong with ass whooping a misbehaving kid. Stop listening to all this "intellectual" advice from the Society of Doctors with No Patients.

Oh..and when you have children..if you ever do....you'll understand.

[ramona97]

i would not have done anything

it's not my child and not my business

keep it moving

[likeminas]

Originally Posted by 30to66at55

Nothing wrong with ass whooping a misbehaving kid. Stop listening to all this "intellectual" advice from the Society of Doctors with No Patients.

Oh..and when you have children..if you ever do....you'll understand.

I didn't even bother reading the wall of nonsensical rambling by Coltrane.

But to address your point, let me tell you that, I, in fact have a newborn child and I can assure you unequivocally that I will NEVER, EVER, hit my child under ANY circumtances.

Corporal punishment demonstrates that it's alright for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people. Children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a good swat. A child whose behavior is controlled by spanking is likely to carry on this mode of interaction into other relationships with siblings and peers, and eventually a spouse and offspring.

I want to instill in my child the power of reasoning and internal self-control, and not that of Pavlovian conditioning to fear.

Corporal punishment is an ineffective and counter-productive discipline method. Several studies have conclusively demonstrated this.
The fact that you dismiss reseach and the statement of doctors that specialize in child medicine speaks volumes of YOUR intelect level.

[2O13]

Originally Posted by ramona97

i would not have done anything

it's not my child and not my business

keep it moving

it is your business. those kids are our COUNTRY's future........

[bellakin123]

Originally Posted by 2O13

it is your business. those kids are our COUNTRY's future........

Every "parent" that I've seen hit their kid and I don't mean a discipline spank on the butt--I mean an open handed smack on the side of the head, a kid pushed into a wall--every single one of those "mothers" said "Mind your own business" and become beligerent. God forbid they're with a few friends. You don't win that battle and it's very sad.

[bellakin123]

Originally Posted by likeminas

I didn't even bother reading the wall of nonsensical rambling by Coltrane.

But to address your point, let me tell you that, I, in fact have a newborn child and I can assure you unequivocally that I will NEVER, EVER, hit my child under ANY circumtances.

Corporal punishment demonstrates that it's alright for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people. Children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a good swat. A child whose behavior is controlled by spanking is likely to carry on this mode of interaction into other relationships with siblings and peers, and eventually a spouse and offspring.

I want to instill in my child the power of reasoning and internal self-control, and not that of Pavlovian conditioning to fear.

Corporal punishment is an ineffective and counter-productive discipline method. Several studies have conclusively demonstrated this.
The fact that you dismiss reseach and the statement of doctors that specialize in child medicine speaks volumes of YOUR intelect level.

You have a great point here. I do not spank my child and never has she swatted back at us as you sometimes see babies or toddlers do. She went to daycare--never had complaints of her hitting. When she was in kindergarten or 1st grade another child hit her and he was known for not being able to keep his hands to himself. When I saw his mother smack his hand, I completely understood why. Not saying it happens to every person who got spanked but I think it's hard to teach a kid not to hit if we're going to hit them. A smack on the bottom just to get their attention so they know we're not kidding, I think is completely acceptable. The problem is that some people don't know the difference between a disciplined smack on the bottom and shoving a 4 yr old into a wall.

[30to66at55]

Originally Posted by likeminas

I didn't even bother reading the wall of nonsensical rambling by Coltrane.

But to address your point, let me tell you that, I, in fact have a newborn child and I can assure you unequivocally that I will NEVER, EVER, hit my child under ANY circumtances.

Corporal punishment demonstrates that it's alright for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people. Children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a good swat. A child whose behavior is controlled by spanking is likely to carry on this mode of interaction into other relationships with siblings and peers, and eventually a spouse and offspring.

I want to instill in my child the power of reasoning and internal self-control, and not that of Pavlovian conditioning to fear.

Corporal punishment is an ineffective and counter-productive discipline method. Several studies have conclusively demonstrated this.
The fact that you dismiss reseach and the statement of doctors that specialize in child medicine speaks volumes of YOUR intelect level.

Newborn...HA, just you wait.

Corporal punishment demonstrates to a child that there are consequences and boundaries to bad behaviour. A smack in the ass will sure keep a kid from wandering in the street far more than a fruitful, relavant, open and granola bar discussion ever will..

Wait..just wait...until yours is two.....