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As a mom of 2 daughters, I say I'd rather see my daughters in a simple strapless dress than some of these dresses cut "down to here, up to there" that some teens show up in.
The question I would have for my daughter is, what is the point of this attire? What is it that is appealing to you? There is a song from my way back machine called "Hairstyles and Attitudes". It asks "How well do we use our freedom to choose the illusions we create?" And "Are the styles we embrace a matter of taste, or of values rejected?" And I would further ask values embraced.
This thread talks about what is and is not appropriate attire. We talk about "teaching" them what is "appropriate". We talk about not "letting" them wear such inappropriate things.
The goal is sound. But the tactics seem screwy to me. It seems like a lot of dictating and controlling and not a lot of listening. I would like to know what my daughter's goals and motives were for that choice. Is there a way to achieve those goals without unintended messages? Does she understand, like it or not, that our appearance choices are received by other people in ways we may not intend? Or IS that what is intended? If so, what is the reality of her burgeoning sexuality at this age?
Because they're the same sort of parent who makes mountains out of molehills just to get attention. Going to the media over this was ridiculous, as was calling VS out publicly over an item they said weren't marketed to the demographic the furious parents said they were. In this case... buy a different dress. In that case, don't buy a tween VS underwear that is marketed to college aged women.
The funny thing is, I bet a lot of the parents fighting to allow their 12 year old daughters to wear strapless dresses are the same who were horrified by the Victoria Secret underwear with phrases they claim were marketed to their daughters (supposedly they were aiming at college students, big difference there).
While I agree that the reasoning behind the ban shouldn't be to avoid distracting boys (really?? That's like the whole "Learn how to avoid being raped" instead of "Grow up and don't be a rapist" mentality), I do think the school has every right to enforce a dress code. If you don't like it, don't send your kid to the dance.
Hmm, I don't see it that way. IMO, the same parent that would be permissive about VS underwear are the same ones that would be in a hurry to put their daughters in a strapless dress.
Read your other comments, how do you really know who VS is marketing to. The Pink line is definitely aimed at younger consumers.
It's a piece of fabric people!
Cut and sewn a certain way, nothing more nothing less.
Yet so many people are ATTACHING meaning to it.
It's a "sexy" dress, it's "inappropriate"...why is it inappropriate?
To me a dress is a dress, if it has straps it has straps, if it doesn't it doesn't.
We attach meaning to things, different people have different meanings, therefore none of them are correct, none are right or wrong, therefore it has no real meaning, it is just an item of fabric that some people stupidly attach way too much meaning to.
It's a piece of fabric people!
Cut and sewn a certain way, nothing more nothing less.
Yet so many people are ATTACHING meaning to it.
It's a "sexy" dress, it's "inappropriate"...why is it inappropriate?
To me a dress is a dress, if it has straps it has straps, if it doesn't it doesn't.
We attach meaning to things, different people have different meanings, therefore none of them are correct, none are right or wrong, therefore it has no real meaning, it is just an item of fabric that some people stupidly attach way too much meaning to.
Like it or not, the people around us make judgments about our choices. I don't agree with the parents here who have sought to control the attire of their daughters. But it is not just a piece of fabric. And if it were, the argument would be moot. The daughters in question would just wear jeans which are entirely more comfortable.
Like it or not, the people around us make judgments about our choices. I don't agree with the parents here who have sought to control the attire of their daughters. But it is not just a piece of fabric. And if it were, the argument would be moot. The daughters in question would just wear jeans which are entirely more comfortable.
People make pretty substantial judgments about dress.
I personally wasn't in the position to have to think about that with my daughter when she was in junior high, and I am glad for it. They didn't have dances where people dressed up like that.
I'm curious about not agreeing with those who seek to control the attire. Most parents "control" the attire in some way.....at the very least by price or perceived quality/value.
People make pretty substantial judgments about dress.
I personally wasn't in the position to have to think about that with my daughter when she was in junior high, and I am glad for it. They didn't have dances where people dressed up like that.
I'm curious about not agreeing with those who seek to control the attire. Most parents "control" the attire in some way.....at the very least by price or perceived quality/value.
People make pretty substantial judgments about dress.
I personally wasn't in the position to have to think about that with my daughter when she was in junior high, and I am glad for it. They didn't have dances where people dressed up like that.
I'm curious about not agreeing with those who seek to control the attire. Most parents "control" the attire in some way.....at the very least by price or perceived quality/value.
Nor did my kids' middle school. I have to say, I think a "formal" is a bit much for MS. I think the principal's comments about the boys were unfortunate; he probably was thinking on his feet when the parents confronted him about this dress rule.
I agree that parents control more of their kids' dress than they sometimes think, especially at this age when few kids are working. BTW, these formals aren't cheap!
We attach meaning to things, different people have different meanings, therefore none of them are correct, none are right or wrong, therefore it has no real meaning,
We attach meaning to things, different people have different meanings, therefore none of them are correct, none are right or wrong, therefore it has no real meaning, it is just an item of fabric that some people stupidly attach way too much meaning to.
It is not a matter of right or wrong meanings. It is a matter of the consequences of not understanding the meanings other people may place. Who gives a hoot what is "right" or "wrong"?
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