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Old 05-26-2013, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,513 posts, read 15,993,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mainer61 View Post
People get way too hung up on this. Let her sleep with you. You are her source of comfort. Eventually she will want to go back into her own bed..It's that simple.
I think in general you are correct but for the OP it is a huge problem. Mom not getting her needed rest, Dad sleeping on the couch every night and with a new baby coming soon it is just too much to handle for the parents to handle. It is not simple for them.
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Old 05-26-2013, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Big skies....woohoo
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Well, it might be if they stopped trying so hard to keep the baby in another room.
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Old 05-26-2013, 06:20 PM
 
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Hubbie puts baby boy first and is super flexible so he's fine with it. It doesn't bother his sleep to have his son there. He likes the closeness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan View Post
What does your husband think of this setup?
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Old 05-26-2013, 06:26 PM
 
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I happen to agree with this. Some things are just not worth the struggle. Not saying that this is the case with the OP as I have no idea but in general some people get so hung up on what is right and wrong in the eyes of society about stuff that is really ok that they drive themselves nuts. Maybe the child just needs her mommy and her daddy. Maybe she is a child that needs a bit more of that type of thing. Who knows, baby number 2 may not need mommy or daddy much. Kids are all unique. Maybe just let the child sleep in the bed, tell Dad to come back to bed, get over it and everyone turn out the lights, stop complaining/crying and for goodness sake, go to sleep! Good grief.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mainer61 View Post
Well, it might be if they stopped trying so hard to keep the baby in another room.
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Old 05-26-2013, 06:31 PM
 
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This is very interesting. In the short time that I have been a mother, I have learned that sometimes dads have "ideas" that are not quite in touch with what is going on or what baby actually needs. It's hard to be all the way in touch when your main job is working and the mom's main job is actually seeing to the needs of the child (even if mom works outside of the home, this task usually falls to mom). I would consider the number of hours that she sleeps and look up the literature that says how much she should be getting at her age. If she is getting enough sleep then maybe consider letting go of the nap. If not, no way. She will just end up OVERTIRED and will NEVER get to sleep by her bedtime and will be bear bc she is OVERTIRED. Also, children grow when they are asleep so if she is not getting enough sleep her growth could suffer as well as things like her ability to find colds, etc.

If anything, I would lean towards timing her nap so that there is plenty of time between her nap and her bedtime. If she doesn't nap until 2, and she sleeps for two hours, it could hard for her to get back to sleep by bedtime, for example.

I would also try to see if she might be getting overstimulated, esp too close to bedtime and maybe that is keeping her from sleeping. Our little guy doesn't watch much TV so we found that when he does watch (and all he watches are his nature CDs and alphabet type stuff), he gets wound up and is not able to get to sleep well. Is she watching alot of tv? If so, maybe cut the tv down to no more than 30 minutes a day and make it nature type stuff or learning stuff that is not real loud and flipping from frame to frame very quickly. More pbs flavor stuff. And not close to her bedtime. Maybe that will help.

If she's still not getting enough sleep and Dad insists that she not take naps, LEAVE HER WITH HIM. All day long for a Saturday and Sunday while she stays up and does not sleep and is full steam ahead all day...with him. He'll be trying to get her back into naps in no time. LOL. Sometimes it's easier to show someone something than to tell them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82 View Post
DH, who thinks he knows ALL, swears she is like this bc I let her nap during the day? Really?
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Old 05-26-2013, 06:34 PM
 
9,776 posts, read 7,690,153 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82 View Post
Well, we haven't changed her crib into the bed yet. Next week we are. Last night was horrible I'm not letting her sleep late in the day either, but it took 2 1/2 hours of me laying there holding her hand to get her to fall asleep. You have to hold her hand a certain way, the sheets have to be up to her neck, now she wants to bring her ball into the bed. It got to the point where I had enough last night. I bring her out a couple of times a week, so she's getting out and being active. DH thinks this is all my job to get her to sleep and literally have no life bc I'm laying in the bed with her at night until god knows when. He now sleeps on the couch bc LO kicks him. She has a lovey which she goes to bed with her, it just seems like she becomes extremely attached at night. I would get up when I thought she was asleep and boom she's up and crying in the living room sitting next to me. DH, who thinks he knows ALL, swears she is like this bc I let her nap during the day? Really?
CC: Is your little daughter familiar with the picture book, "Bedtime for Frances", by Russell and Lillian Hoban? Are you familiar with it? It sounds to me as if your daughter IS Frances! Check it out - literally. Your little girl may be a bit young to have the entire book read to her, but it's right on target, as is Frances's almost infinitely patient father. You may not like his final words to Frances - but like Frances, your daughter has learned quite early how to pull the strings so Mommy and Daddy will jump. Smart little girl. So see if you can put yourself in her place, and figure out what is going to be more appealing to her than all this creative control she's currently practicing.

Often toddlers are very much into the "big girl/big boy" thing. So - make your preparations first, then pick your day to tell her that this is a very special day - it's Big Girl Day, and she's going to get to sleep in her own official Big Girl Bed!

Make it fun, and make the highlight (drum roll) getting to sleep in her very own Big Girl Bed! Fix it up for her - cute sheets, new cuddly toy or doll, new bedtime storybook, new pajamas or nightie - even bake a cake and put a doll bed on top (or draw one with icing). When bedtime comes, go through the usual routine until she actually is in bed (I assume you have a regular routine - bath, pjs, story, prayer, hugs, kiss, tuck her in, see you in the morning) - instead, have a bedtime march, with her in her new Big Girl PJs, atop her daddy's shoulders. Sing and dance a little, play a special bedtime march song (can be anything - Teddy Bear's Picnic would work well).

Then, ta-da!! You've reached her Big Girl Room, and there's her Big Girl Bed waiting for her. Wow, she's such a Big Girl! So into the Big Girl Bed she goes, ready for the rest of the routine - story, lullaby, hugs, kisses, tuck in, good night. Make sure you and her daddy are talking about what a wonderful Big Girl she is as you leave the room, and how proud of her you are.

Then cross your fingers. If she wants the sheets pulled up to her neck, that's fine. So is the ball, so's a nightlight, so are teddy and dolly, so's gentle music played softly. But don't let her string this out too long. That's not what Big Girls do!

Good luck.
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Old 05-26-2013, 06:38 PM
 
9,776 posts, read 7,690,153 times
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OP - just noticed your comment that you "bring her out a couple of times a week, so she's getting out and being active." By this, do you mean that she's getting outside twice a week? If so, that's far from enough for a toddler. She should have active physical outdoor time daily for several hours, unless the weather is really bad.

Please clarify if I am misunderstanding you about this - thanks. It may well be a factor in her sleep habit problems.
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Old 05-26-2013, 06:43 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,381,753 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelySummer View Post
So, I say, just let her sleep with you and go to sleep! What's the big deal. If people don't like it, well, they don't have to know what goes on in your house. Not even your parents. My Mom kept asking me when DS was going to sleep in his bed. I told her when he wants to. It's there and he has his whole life to sleep in it. Big deal. Sleeping doesn't have to be an issue unless you make it into an issue. I'd much rather get wound up about other things. Goodness knows there are more than enough things for us to worry about and stress over when we have babies/toddlers. Sleep doesn't have to be one of them.

Good luck.
The big deal is this -

We have had coroner after coroner issue warnings about co-sleeping and how dangerous it is for babies.

SIDS has virtually disappeared in Australia with one exception - babies who sleep with their parents.

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/baby...402-2h3vk.html
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Old 05-26-2013, 06:54 PM
 
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Cindersslipper,

Did you miss the notices about the rates of SIDS GOING DOWN with mothers who sleep with their babies. Check out the latest literature. It's all over the internet. Mother regulates the baby's breathing and is typically awakened when baby stops breathing. Now, if mother rolls over on baby or dad rolls over on baby that's another thing and is not SIDs, it's smothering (they recommend baby does not sleep next to dad, only mom, bc dad's don't have the intuition/link to the baby and may smother baby unknowingly)
Also, researchers believe the carbon monoxide mom exhales stimulates baby breathing.
there is so much science to co-sleeping reducing sids.

Haven't you seen the latest literature?
Cosleeping and SIDS Fact Sheet - The Baby Bond
Co-sleeping Safer Than Cribs Says SIDS Researcher James McKenna | Inhabitots
http://cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/31970/
http://www.parenting.com/article/ask...-a-sids-danger

Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
The big deal is this -

We have had coroner after coroner issue warnings about co-sleeping and how dangerous it is for babies.

SIDS has virtually disappeared in Australia with one exception - babies who sleep with their parents.

SIDS: Coroner's warning on co-sleeping with babies
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Old 05-26-2013, 07:07 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,381,753 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelySummer View Post
Cindersslipper,

Did you miss the notices about the rates of SIDS GOING DOWN with mothers who sleep with their babies. Check out the latest literature. It's all over the internet. Mother regulates the baby's breathing and is typically awakened when baby stops breathing. Now, if mother rolls over on baby or dad rolls over on baby that's another thing and is not SIDs, it's smothering (they recommend baby does not sleep next to dad, only mom, bc dad's don't have the intuition/link to the baby and may smother baby unknowingly)
Also, researchers believe the carbon monoxide mom exhales stimulates baby breathing.
there is so much science to co-sleeping reducing sids.

Haven't you seen the latest literature?
Cosleeping and SIDS Fact Sheet - The Baby Bond
Co-sleeping Safer Than Cribs Says SIDS Researcher James McKenna | Inhabitots
http://cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/31970/
http://www.parenting.com/article/ask...-a-sids-danger
The first article was written in 2002 and updated in 2005! That's not exactly the "latest".

No I haven't read the "latest" , I have heard several of our Coroners issue warnings though.

Hmmm...something you read on the interwebs vs something you have been officially warned about by your countries top authorities.

I also know that Australia has led the way in SIDS research worldwide.

Cot death is virtually unheard of now in Australia apart from in babies who co sleep.

You might be willing to take the risk with your child but do not recommend it to others.
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