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So its because CPS didn't bother to check up-to-date information? Gah that annoys me. My baby was taken away from me for two weeks because the judge was rushing to go home on a friday afternoon so didn't bother to check that the information he had received was correct (though in my case it wasn't the child protection workers or the hospital at fault, my social worker even called the judge as soon as she found out and told him that he had been told lies). All sorted out in the end but that was two miserable weeks without my baby just because someone didn't bother to check up on facts.
The CPS workers in this case (and any other case that is a result of not checking facts) should be severely disciplined/fired but I guess that won't happen.
This story is most disturbing but I see how it happens and can happen quite easily. One of my husband's coworkers is going through hell right now with someone making false claims against their family. They think it is their daughter's ex boyfriend. Some of the claims are so far over the top that they are laughable, ie they are white supremacists with a military grade arsenal in their basement, they are extreme drug users, etc. The family is now on high alert and has had to hire a lawyer. It is tearing apart the whole family and even though some of claims have been disproven, DYFS won't leave them alone.
Getting to the medical part, parents are often held hostage with the "DYFS will be called if you don't comply." I see how they should in extreme cases where the parents aren't seeking medical treatment at all for something serious. But it is a common threat and constantly held over the parent's head. Some of our hospitals are notoriously bad. One woman we know took her son in because she was worried about comments he was making. He calmed down and she wanted to take him home and continue with her out patient therapy. Unfortunately, they saw it differently and posted a nurse in the waiting room to prevent them from leaving. The boy was seen and released but it became a DYFS case, even though she complied.
We are receiving in home services for my daughter right now from the state which have been great and just ended after a year. We asked for these services voluntarily. Even though the state appointed therapist has been wonderful, there is always that DYFS threat when it comes to medical care. The therapist has often told her families, "If you don't call 911 and get them here to take your child in for a psych eval, I am calling DYFS. It is 911 or DYFS." We had one therapy session where my daughter had a bad day at school and then was acting up in therapy. My husband was in London on a business trip and it was just me and the kids. We got to that 911 stage and I begged the therapist to ease off which she did. My daughter calmed down. We are an extremely compliant family and really wanted to take advantage of the services our state provides but wow, there is always that DYFS threat and if you don't 100% comply, you've become a DYFS case.
I don't know what I would do if they took my kids. My son is an extremely sensitive boy and is going through a bit of an insecurity phase. My daughter has RAD and a host of other issues. They are both adoptees and we've had our hands full, especially with my daughter and her emotional problems. The psychological damage, especially to my son, would be devastating if he were placed into foster care. I wonder if DYFS/CPS etc ever considers that or is a family just guilty until proven innocent? Then I see some of these horrific abuse cases where DYFS never did do their job and it enrages me.
I know that not all DYFS is bad. There are many terrific case workers out there who exercise common sense and decency. They are there to protect the children and do their jobs very well.
I don't have time at the moment to reply the way I would like to, as I am supposed to be out the door, but our DD has RAD and other issues too and it is a constant fear -- the fear that her behaviors will lead to CPS intervention, fears that she will say something at school that only gives 1/4 of the story, or make something up outright. It's very frustrating and impossible to feel like we can trust most "professionals". I can pretty much directly source her RAD to actions CPS in conjunction with her bio father. As you can imagine, that is a very long story but let's just say we didn't have a traumatized child until CPS blundered through our lives like a bull in a china shop.
I will save my other comments for later but I just wanted to chime in.
I don't have time at the moment to reply the way I would like to, as I am supposed to be out the door, but our DD has RAD and other issues too and it is a constant fear -- the fear that her behaviors will lead to CPS intervention, fears that she will say something at school that only gives 1/4 of the story, or make something up outright. It's very frustrating and impossible to feel like we can trust most "professionals". I can pretty much directly source her RAD to actions CPS in conjunction with her bio father. As you can imagine, that is a very long story but let's just say we didn't have a traumatized child until CPS blundered through our lives like a bull in a china shop.
I will save my other comments for later but I just wanted to chime in.
Same here, the counseling is the problem, it encourages the kid to make up twisted stories to please the "social worker". My DS is RAD, too. Most of those CPS workers don't even know what RAD is
Glad but sad to see other RAD parents on this thread. My DD has made quite a few allegations towards me, other students, teachers, etc. Her latest one involved 14 other students and the bus driver which could have cost her the job. DD recanted what she said and fortunately the school, after so many years, knows all her tricks as does her therapist. DYFS has never been involved however I always feel like I'm walking the line and their presence is always felt.
We are considering a move to another state. As much as I'm excited, I'm also terrified because we have to start over again. We are desperately trying to get her classified under an IEP but having such a hard fight with our school and the child study team. I don't want to move into our new state and suddenly be under the scrutiny of CPS or whatever it may be called. Fortunately, we have loads of documentation and everything is in the system so perhaps that could be taken into consideration if she makes one of her outlandish claims. It is scary and always having to worry about the welfare of the family and if your children will be taken from you.
I think what bothers me about CPS is if they are found out to have lied on court documents and sworn to them they are not brought up on charges or taken to court for the lies and falsifying documents , why is that ? it is like Joe citizen lies on a court document they get thrown in jail ? sounds like double standard where cps is concerned I hope this family gets a lawyer and tears up the worker , the cops and whoever else was involved need their azz hung out to dry so to speak . I remember when I lived in a small town in georgia a cps worker dissapeared sometime after visiting a home and she was notorious for removing kids from the home . I often think that maybe this woman might have lied on a court document once too many who knows but really these ppl that work for cps need to be better trained and to figure out that sometimes these stories these kids tell are outright lies and nothing ever happened unfortunately by the time it is discovered someone has been labeled .....I hope these ppl get their child back and their lawyer rips the state a new one .
Our family has had a recent experience with CPS. My BIL and SIL had a friend of theirs babysitting their 5 mo. old DS while they worked. They are amazing parents, had to go through months of infertility treatments to conceive their one child...these are solid middle class folks who have never had any troubles with the law.
They picked their son up from the babysitter (the babysitter has a 3 year old daughter) one Friday and realized that he was ill. He was lethargic and began vomiting soon after they got home with him. They took him to the ER immediately. After some tests and xrays, they were left alone in a room with him for hours before a strange woman walked in and picked him up and left the room. She would not answer any of their frantic questions and the cop she brought with her would not allow them to follow her as she left. When they were finally able to talk to the Dr., they were told that he had a broken left femur and a fractured skull. Because they could not account for these injuries, it was assumed that they had caused them and their son was removed from their care.
Very long story short...the paid a $5000 retainer fee to an attorney to help them get their son back, he spent 3 nights in an emergency foster care home and another 10 nights with a family member while an investigation went on. They had to undergo lie detector testing, a home inspection, and many other invasive questions and interviews before the courts and CPS finally cleared them and actually looked at the babysitter (she failed her lie detector test and her daughter was found to have numerous old healed fractures). She later admitted to throwing him down on a blanket on a hardwood floor.
She has pled not guilty and this whole stupidity has to go before a jury later this summer.
My BIL and SIL will never be the same. They do not trust leaving their son with anyone, they question taking him to the Dr. (they take him to his pediatrician, who actually wrote a letter stating that they are wonderful parents and he did not believe they would harm their child), but the thought of having to take him to the ER at some point freaks them out, and they will be paying their lawyer bill for years to come.
Through all this...the babysitter never lost custody of her own daughter.
Our family has had a recent experience with CPS. My BIL and SIL had a friend of theirs babysitting their 5 mo. old DS while they worked. They are amazing parents, had to go through months of infertility treatments to conceive their one child...these are solid middle class folks who have never had any troubles with the law.
They picked their son up from the babysitter (the babysitter has a 3 year old daughter) one Friday and realized that he was ill. He was lethargic and began vomiting soon after they got home with him. They took him to the ER immediately. After some tests and xrays, they were left alone in a room with him for hours before a strange woman walked in and picked him up and left the room. She would not answer any of their frantic questions and the cop she brought with her would not allow them to follow her as she left. When they were finally able to talk to the Dr., they were told that he had a broken left femur and a fractured skull. Because they could not account for these injuries, it was assumed that they had caused them and their son was removed from their care.
Very long story short...the paid a $5000 retainer fee to an attorney to help them get their son back, he spent 3 nights in an emergency foster care home and another 10 nights with a family member while an investigation went on. They had to undergo lie detector testing, a home inspection, and many other invasive questions and interviews before the courts and CPS finally cleared them and actually looked at the babysitter (she failed her lie detector test and her daughter was found to have numerous old healed fractures). She later admitted to throwing him down on a blanket on a hardwood floor.
She has pled not guilty and this whole stupidity has to go before a jury later this summer.
My BIL and SIL will never be the same. They do not trust leaving their son with anyone, they question taking him to the Dr. (they take him to his pediatrician, who actually wrote a letter stating that they are wonderful parents and he did not believe they would harm their child), but the thought of having to take him to the ER at some point freaks them out, and they will be paying their lawyer bill for years to come.
Through all this...the babysitter never lost custody of her own daughter.
How horrible, I have no words.
The justice system in this country is seriously, seriously f-d up.
The 'babysitter' should've been locked up and experienced first hand what it's like to be knocked down on the floor by her cellmates.
Glad but sad to see other RAD parents on this thread. My DD has made quite a few allegations towards me, other students, teachers, etc. Her latest one involved 14 other students and the bus driver which could have cost her the job. DD recanted what she said and fortunately the school, after so many years, knows all her tricks as does her therapist. DYFS has never been involved however I always feel like I'm walking the line and their presence is always felt.
We are considering a move to another state. As much as I'm excited, I'm also terrified because we have to start over again. We are desperately trying to get her classified under an IEP but having such a hard fight with our school and the child study team. I don't want to move into our new state and suddenly be under the scrutiny of CPS or whatever it may be called. Fortunately, we have loads of documentation and everything is in the system so perhaps that could be taken into consideration if she makes one of her outlandish claims. It is scary and always having to worry about the welfare of the family and if your children will be taken from you.
I know exactly what you mean!
We ARE moving this summer, to a city an hour a way and a whole new school. Like you said, it is exciting but very scary. The school where she is now is not that great but they know her and don't fall for her BS. It is always a problem with new people in her life not understanding. Even little things, the school knows -- like a recent situation where she told the school nurse that she only showers once a week because WE "don't remind her" to shower. Any other person not knowledgeable about her would have freaked out but the nurse knows her, knows us, and knew immediately it was not true. She has a new teacher though, who came to us all concerned when DD said she had "lots of health problems" and therefore couldn't participate in some physical activity. Also completely untrue but we had fun sorting that out.
These things are minor really but we area always worried about something "minor" being misunderstood, hence the anxiety about moving to a new school. We are glad we were able to get her an IEP - she is classified as emotionally disturbed and as awful as the label sounds, at least an IEP came with it. Have y'all considered an independent evaluation? Our DD was evaluated through the school's special ed "department" (which is about four people, lol) but even so, we found that the licensed school psych was really ignorant about RAD and we spent a lot of time before the evaluation talking with him and giving him reading material.
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61
I think what bothers me about CPS is if they are found out to have lied on court documents and sworn to them they are not brought up on charges or taken to court for the lies and falsifying documents , why is that ? it is like Joe citizen lies on a court document they get thrown in jail ? sounds like double standard where cps is concerned I hope this family gets a lawyer and tears up the worker , the cops and whoever else was involved need their azz hung out to dry so to speak . I remember when I lived in a small town in georgia a cps worker dissapeared sometime after visiting a home and she was notorious for removing kids from the home . I often think that maybe this woman might have lied on a court document once too many who knows but really these ppl that work for cps need to be better trained and to figure out that sometimes these stories these kids tell are outright lies and nothing ever happened unfortunately by the time it is discovered someone has been labeled .....I hope these ppl get their child back and their lawyer rips the state a new one .
Very true. As others have said, I know there are workers who do their job well and try to do what's best for the children but there are so many rotten apples out there spoiling everything. The thing is, when there is media coverage because a worker did NOT take a child from the home and the child was injured severely or worse, the pressure is on to then "err on the side of caution" and take kids when there is the slightest suspicion.
If all of the system was run more like a real, legitimate court system it would improve. The way it is now though, "investigations" don't necessarily mean anything, "proof" doesn't have to exist, it's just a joke. It's a kangaroo court at best.
And everyone ignores the very real fact of the trauma that can occur for kids who are removed erroneously. It's like it is "no big deal" to be ripped from their homes and placed with strangers!
This kind of thing makes it apparent that many of those who are supposed to be working for the best interests of the child have ZERO knowledge of child development and child psychology.
The CPS worker in our case made all sorts of horrible errors, errors that could have resulted in DD suffering great physical harm. As it was she suffered tremendous psychological and emotional damage as well as extreme physical neglect, some physical abuse, and beyond that we will never know because DD was unable to fully talk about things when she came home and no one would give us any records of any incidents for that year she was missing.
Yeah, the same worker realized her errors -- over a YEAR later. She "remedied" her errors by returning DD to us but the damage will last a lifetime. Kids are not puppies. DD was a healthy, very well adjusted, strongly attached little girl (age 2) who suffered from an abrupt separation from her primary caregivers. She was then told that we didn't want her, and after that she was told her mommy (my wife) was DEAD. The following year was a series of rapid change in caregivers, many that she was told to call "Mommy", as well as neglect and abuse. For CPS it was just "Oops! My bad. Ok, here's your kid back, have a nice life!" ZERO accountability.
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I can pretty much directly source her RAD to actions CPS in conjunction with her bio father. As you can imagine, that is a very long story but let's just say we didn't have a traumatized child until CPS blundered through our lives like a bull in a china shop. 
Any other person not knowledgeable about her would have freaked out but the nurse knows her, knows us, and knew immediately it was not true. She has a new teacher though, who came to us all concerned when DD said she had "lots of health problems" and therefore couldn't participate in some physical activity. Also completely untrue but we had fun sorting that out. 
