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The legal advice is hard to deal with. I have a prenuptial agreement. For me going to an attorney's office would be painful and she has said she doesn't want a divorce.
Now that's different. Most people don't have prenups, much less youngsters. Is it actually prenups or postnups?
Well, you're going to have to decide what be more painful... that your situation to continue (and it will because your wife will not change) or going to the attorney's office.
Of course your wife doesn't want a divorce, but keep in mind: she also doesn't want to work on your marriage. And you're letting her have it both ways.
terrible advice and I hope you are being facetious.
Yes OP's tone has changed drastically. One word answers. Did all the criticism hurt your feelings? make you regret this entire reaching out for help? Some of us are really trying to help with what limited information we have. We all realize there are two sides to every story and we are only getting one side but you sound defeated. you are way too young to give up on happiness.It's sad when people don't fight for the right to fulfill their potential. You almost seem to think 36 is old, in fact you said you are too old to find love again. that simply is not true.
Please answer our questions about seeking legal advice. Will you go to attorney to find out how to protect yourself and your son?
All you said above is exactly why I said he should just accept his lot in life because he has absolutely no intention to change it. He has shown no progress in his demeanor, and is still basically afraid to rock the boat because his widdle wifey's feewings will be hurt. Really, the story is just tired now.
Now that's different. Most people don't have prenups, much less youngsters. Is it actually prenups or postnups?
Well, you're going to have to decide what be more painful... that your situation to continue (and it will because your wife will not change) or going to the attorney's office.
Of course your wife doesn't want a divorce, but keep in mind: she also doesn't want to work on your marriage. And you're letting her have it both ways.
Why would an 18-year old need a pre-nup? Or is he just saying to make it seem to the board at 18 he knew what he was doing and would get no criticism, even the constructive kind. I don't believe the pre-nup story one bit.
parents advised me to and since they were paying tuition i kind of had to. Neither she or I liked the idea nor did we think very much of it at the time.
parents advised me to and since they were paying tuition i kind of had to. Neither she or I liked the idea nor did we think very much of it at the time.
OK, well if they advised, obviously there were/are assets involved, so that was a good idea.
Either way, you are going to have to make a choice, which hell do you want to face head on? A visit with the lawyer, or continue in this mess of a marriage.
Either way, you are going to have to make a choice, which hell do you want to face head on? A visit with the lawyer, or continue in this mess of a marriage.
Exactly.
Or tell her how unhappy you are and that counseling is required to stay married to you, or accept that you will have to continue enabling her inconsiderate behavior and live as a doormat.
Or tell her how unhappy you are and that counseling is required to stay married to you, or accept that you will have to continue enabling her inconsiderate behavior and live as a doormat.
parents advised me to and since they were paying tuition i kind of had to. Neither she or I liked the idea nor did we think very much of it at the time.
The odds are the prenup will favor you more than your wife. Your parents were perceptive enough about your wife and its sad she never actually grew up from that.
As for the short answers, I only keep my answers short because, and I'm being serious, it would take a very long time to type the answer I would give you, so I keep them short and sweet. The legal advice is hard to deal with. I have a prenuptial agreement. For me going to anattorney's office would be painful and she has said she doesn't want a divorce.
Almost all attorneys have free consultations. just because you visit an attorney it doesn't mean that you have to get a divorce, it just gives you more information to help you plan for the future.
BTW Both people do not have to agree to a divorce. Heck, almost everyone that I know who is divorced it was because one of the partners insisted on the divorce and the other person was just stuck with that decision (sadly, it was mostly middle aged men who decided to dump their long time wives, who put them though school & raised the children, for younger trophy wives).
I'm wondering if there is inherited money involved? Sounds like your parents were trying to protect family money.
So this is the story:
--Two teens made a baby,
--got married but only after guy's parents insisted on a prenup
--lived apart for SIX years because "she did not want to move away from her parents",
--guy got good education and started on career with emotionally retarded wife, --wife didn't have any skills or job,
--wife started resenting teenage son and the opportunities opening up to him (which didn't open up for her because of HIM),
-- wife sometimes drinks too much, but hubby sees no problem with providing underage son with booze
--hubby deals with immature wife by spoiling her with expensive gifts, vacations and too many fine restaurant meals
--hubby makes really good money
--now at age 36 he realizes how screwed up wife is
and how she is interfering with responsible growth of 18 year old son
--hubby thinks he is too old to start a new
--hubby doesn't want to upset his wife with the truth about their marriage
--son is beginning to make plans for his future inspite of his mother trying to hold him back
--hubby is miserable but won't or can't strike out on his own cause he has become comfortable with the status quo.
--so hubby has relegated the rest of his life to this misery
--wife is probably just as miserable but won't change or even see the need for change
--son is only one who might get out of this without being totally gorked-if it's not too late already.
Do you see how screwed up this picture is? Is this really what you want for the future of all three of you? Do you think change is going to be any easier the older you get?
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