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With only 1 kid who is 18 years old, you should have plenty of alone time without having to bribe him to leave.
He loves sitting in his room with his Xbox though and ( if we let him) could sit there for 24 hours straight without leaving so, I had to bribe him out.
He loves sitting in his room with his Xbox though and ( if we let him) could sit there for 24 hours straight without leaving so, I had to bribe him out.
I thought you were encouraging him getting a job? Why doesn't he just get a job as a game tester if he's already going to spend that much time on playing games.
That's why I apologized. Mattie said I didn't treat my wife with respect so I apologized to her.
She doesn't treat you with respect either though. You treat her like she apparently wants to be treated. She has you trained. If she didn't want you to do what you do, she wouldn't do what she does. I don't know... I think you are so far in the weeds you can't even see out. We're trying to tell you your wife walks all over you, and your take away is that you need to apologize. You missed the point. I don't see an overwhelming lack of respect for your wife. I think Mattie just meant that your specific actions - the kissing up, trying to smooth things over by buying her gifts, etc. is not respect. You may feel respect for her, but your actions don't translate. Do you think your wife treats you with respect?
He loves sitting in his room with his Xbox though and ( if we let him) could sit there for 24 hours straight without leaving so, I had to bribe him out.
Why? Why did you have to? She doesn't think he needs a job, so he's going to be around a lot. Too bad. You didn't "need" a dinner alone.
I think I also said you don't treat your wife with respect but I meant you are more afraid of her than respect her. There is a big difference. Exactly what has she done that warrants respect?-other than the day to day respect we all should show each other. When she pouts and slams doors and locks herself in the bedroom and intimidates and manipulates you and your son, refuses to even speak to your son or feed him, when she acts like a 12 year old kid is she worthy of respect? I don't think so.
You missed the point. I don't see an overwhelming lack of respect for your wife. I think Mattie just meant that your specific actions - the kissing up, trying to smooth things over by buying her gifts, etc. is not respect. You may feel respect for her, but your actions don't translate. Do you think your wife treats you with respect?
Exactly!!! If you truly respected your wife as a mature woman, you would not have a relationship based on bribes. You have led her to expect them for years, and now she reacts like a child if they aren't forthcoming.
Irish, I think the latest developments are encouraging and I hope everything stays on a positive course but please keep your wits about you and be cautious during this time. Definitely keep a close eye on your finances. Remember what a good little actress your wife is when it serves her purpose and also how spiteful and manipulative she can be.
This whole idea of moving out has been a wake up call for her and hopefully it has sparked a genuine desire to change and work towards a healthy marriage and home life. But there is always the possibility that she is enraged over this whole thing and is just telling you what you want to hear in order to buy her some time to figure out what to do. I hate to be the Debbie Downer here but it really isn't characteristic of your wife to suddenly be so cooperative and loving without a motive/incentive to do so.
Hopefully her intentions are honorable and she will continue with the counseling.
Can't stress this enough. Keep your eyes open and your resolve strong. No gifts, trips, dinners to appease or reward her. That just encourages the manipulation.
I understand your discussion with your son. Since you discussed the possibility of moving out with him, and he had the heart-to-heart talk with mom, you were entirely in the right to discuss the latest change in her attitude that may alter the plans you were making with him. The young man is part of this, having recently been the target of his mother's spiteful behavior. To leave him in the dark now would be confusing and cruel, imo. He doesn't have to know every personal detail of your relationship, but certainly should be aware of whether your plans to move have been put on hold.
She refused to sleep in the same room as me. This morning, I got up and the first thing she says to me is " Because I'm a good person, I'm going to dig down and try to forgive you for being the 1 husband on Earth who hates going out to dinner with his wife."
And what is it with eating dinner out? From the sounds of it,you all eat dinner out more than anyone I know. What is wrong with sitting down with each other at home? Why does every conversation need to include dinner out? Not to mention do youever talk or do anything as a family? It seems that its you and your son, or yourwife and your son or you and your wife. I don'tsee anything with the 3 of you. And why can't together time be taking a walk, or going putt putting...? Why does it need to be a trip orsomething?
She's going to TRY to forgive you?????????? Whatever you do, don't apologize, please. Apparently her promise to be a better mother and wife was just words. She can't seem to put it into action. Apparently you don't have the right to be tired and not in the mood to drag yourself out of the house for a dinner out at a whim of hers. It's all about her (in her mind). It's time it's about you, too.
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