U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-20-2013, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
2,346 posts, read 5,792,682 times
Reputation: 2284

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gettingouttahere View Post
... inviting just my daughter to join them (because they girls are so close)...
Given this, I think y'all are looking at this from the wrong angle. With ONE guest, this wasn't a birthday party, this was just the family asking the OP's daughter to tag along on a family outing. That's a different beast, and the rules for who pays what aren't as cut-and-dried in that setting.


If you set aside the "birthday" aspect (and being shaken down for a specific present), then their behavior seems more reasonable. IMO. My kid's been asked to go to Six Flags, water parks, etc. with friends and their families from time to time. It's never even crossed my mind that the cost of admission or food should be paid by the inviting family. I just viewed it as "Hey, we're going, and you can ride along. - Dutch treat."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-20-2013, 11:21 AM
 
Location: A place that's too cold
4,077 posts, read 4,048,407 times
Reputation: 10057
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big G View Post
Given this, I think y'all are looking at this from the wrong angle. With ONE guest, this wasn't a birthday party, this was just the family asking the OP's daughter to tag along on a family outing. That's a different beast, and the rules for who pays what aren't as cut-and-dried in that setting.


If you set aside the "birthday" aspect (and being shaken down for a specific present), then their behavior seems more reasonable. IMO. My kid's been asked to go to Six Flags, water parks, etc. with friends and their families from time to time. It's never even crossed my mind that the cost of admission or food should be paid by the inviting family. I just viewed it as "Hey, we're going, and you can ride along. - Dutch treat."
It's hard to set aside the "birthday" aspect given the fact that the email said "And then there's stuff about what kind of present we should buy the kid." That line made it a birthday celebration.

Personally, I have never invited someone else's child to any function without paying for them, be it bowling, movie, amusement park. To make it clear to the other parent as to the money aspect, I would say something like, "Now, Adam might want to bring along some spending money in case he wants a souvenir or snacks outside of the meals we eat together."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2013, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
4,851 posts, read 8,319,922 times
Reputation: 5483
Smile The way I was raised

You invite
You pay

How old are the girls?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2013, 11:47 AM
 
Location: FLG/PHX/MKE
7,289 posts, read 12,868,909 times
Reputation: 11529
Well, since your daughter already went... you know what to do when it's your daughter's birthday.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2013, 01:01 PM
 
1,168 posts, read 1,828,027 times
Reputation: 1074
Quote:
Originally Posted by ukiyo-e View Post
Aside from the obnoxious way they invited you daughter, the vegan part really ticks me off. I'm vegetarian and my 23-year-old son has been vegan for over 5 years now, but we'd never indicate our dietary habits on an invitation like that - there's absolutely no reason to. You can almost always get oatmeal and fruit at hotel restaurants for breakfast and just ask them not to put milk in the oatmeal. They sound like really self-centered folks who have to make sure everyone bends to their whims. I hope your daughter enjoyed herself, and yeah - next year, no way.
I didn't mention this because it would've been too long a setup, but, for this same family's daughter's birthday LAST year, we were all invited to their home 90 minutes away for a backyard birthday party. By we I mean all the kids from the daughter's old school (our current school - they moved), plus all the kids' parents. About two dozen people -- not one of whom is a vegetarian, let alone a vegan.

This was for lunch, mind you. We were served lettuce and tomatoes on bread, with hummus. And veggie sticks. And water. The cake was a vegan carrot cake. It was awful.

The entire group went out to eat at Subway after the party was over. We were that starving.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2013, 02:19 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,209 posts, read 50,499,962 times
Reputation: 60100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gettingouttahere View Post
I didn't mention this because it would've been too long a setup, but, for this same family's daughter's birthday LAST year, we were all invited to their home 90 minutes away for a backyard birthday party. By we I mean all the kids from the daughter's old school (our current school - they moved), plus all the kids' parents. About two dozen people -- not one of whom is a vegetarian, let alone a vegan.

This was for lunch, mind you. We were served lettuce and tomatoes on bread, with hummus. And veggie sticks. And water. The cake was a vegan carrot cake. It was awful.

The entire group went out to eat at Subway after the party was over. We were that starving.
They just sound cheap. I know vegans who eat better than that and would offer better food than that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2013, 02:32 PM
 
15,187 posts, read 16,039,895 times
Reputation: 25076
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
They just sound cheap. I know vegans who eat better than that and would offer better food than that.
That's what I'm thinking. They could have put out a nice spread of vegan food if they wanted to. They sound rude and cheap.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2013, 02:37 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,253,264 times
Reputation: 22270
They are cheap. I have a family member who did the same thing with a birthday party - invited us to her country club and then afterward, in the parking lot!, gave us each a (pre-written) BILL for how much we each owed. OMG. I have invited her many times to parties of various sorts at my club and of course, I paid for everything - from the bar tab to the meal, entertainment, whatever! She wasn't raised this way but this is how she has done things her entire adult life.

Some people are simply CHEAP. And I would add TACKY to that, also.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2013, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,203 posts, read 49,753,916 times
Reputation: 66975
That was one cheeze ass invitation, op.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2013, 02:46 PM
 
1,168 posts, read 1,828,027 times
Reputation: 1074
Anifani, wow. That is worse than my situation. At least I knew going in what the cost would be!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top