U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-21-2013, 07:11 AM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 10,667,768 times
Reputation: 9448

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gettingouttahere View Post
We got the "save the date" email months ago, so my daughter already knew about the event. It was only on Thursday that the other shoe dropped about the details, when the mom sent that email.

This family is not hurting for money. Well....who knows, they may be, but they certainly have all the usual upper middle class toys.

Had I known it was a pay your own way event, I would've declined at the initial notification and made arrangements for the girls to spend time together elsewhere. It ended up costing $40 for the entrance, $20 for food, and $20 for the gift. Sigh.
These people are unbelievably self-absorbed and rude. I guess you have spent $80.00 to learn a lesson that you won't soon forget. All future invites from these people need to be declined. Life is too short to waste time on people who are clearly clueless about the basics of entertaining and etiquette.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-21-2013, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Powell, Oh
1,847 posts, read 3,930,631 times
Reputation: 1061
That is rude.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2013, 09:05 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,253,264 times
Reputation: 22270
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gettingouttahere View Post
Anifani, wow. That is worse than my situation. At least I knew going in what the cost would be!!!
I try to "let things go" and not stay angry, insulted, affronted, etc with people -- it is worthless to hang onto such emotions. But I will never forget what that taught me about this person. I had seen all sorts of withholding behavior from her before (she gets out a calculator at restaurants to figure out up to the last penny who owes what). In other words, if she didn't order the wine, she won't pay for it, even if she drank part of it. If there is a birthday cake someone paid for to honor the guest, she won't pay for that.

To get around that, the rest of us decided we would clearly state that we are honoring someone and so the rest of us would just split the bill - EVENLY. Well, she came up with a new strategy and orders the most expensive thing on the menu, knowing that she will "come out ahead" when we all pay equally.

The first few times this happened, I thought . . . hmmm. After the third time, I realized it was a purposeful strategy - that she feels good when she believes she has "gotten a bargain" and the rest of us have to ante up for her.

I no longer do group dinners if she is in attendance, lol.

Some people have issues which results in tacky behavior. What makes it worse is when it involves money and the person being a jerk has more wealth than anyone else at the table!!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2013, 09:23 AM
 
776 posts, read 1,032,950 times
Reputation: 1141
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
I no longer do group dinners if she is in attendance, lol.
Hell, I wouldn't do anything with her in attendance.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2013, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
13,019 posts, read 7,196,376 times
Reputation: 49965
That invite seems a little weird to me. We have three girls that aren't related spend the night with us every other month. It's very expensive and their parents never offer to pay for anything. I wouldn't take any money from them any way. They are my guests and it would be like inviting someone to dinner and expecting them to bring their own food.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2013, 12:57 PM
 
1,168 posts, read 1,828,027 times
Reputation: 1074
Yeah, I knew years ago that these people were what they are. It wasn't a surprise to me that they'd do something like this. I was sharing it more to get some validation for my outrage than because I was stunned. My husband is much better at letting stuff go; I'm the kind who nurses grudges forever. I realize that I do myself more harm by doing this -- it's one area where I find it really hard to be mature, though. I hate letting stuff go when I'm right, dammit!!

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2013, 01:39 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,568 posts, read 21,748,544 times
Reputation: 44332
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gettingouttahere View Post
We know a couple with three kids who I guess are "friends," though it's mostly our kids who are friends. They became vegans a couple of years ago. This year, they invited my daughter to a local hotel/water park, where they are spending the weekend to celebrate.

This is the e-mail she sent me:

"(Your daughter) cannot sleep over since the room has only 3 beds plus we are going out that evening and don't know when we'll be back.
You are welcome to drop her off any time in the morning, just please have her eat breakfast at home since we don't eat there.
There is nothing that they offer there that we can eat except for lettuce ;-) so we bring our own fruits and stuff for breakfast and make sandwiches for lunch in our room... (Shhhh - don't tell them )
There is a fee to get in for the day, I just called them, it's $40 a person.
and then either pack her a lunch box or send some extra cash with her so she can buy lunch since we don't..."

And then there's stuff about what kind of present we should buy the kid.

I find this the most outrageous "invitation" I've ever gotten.
Am I right?

How exactly is this an invitation? Very strange.

Please do not judge all Vegans or Vegetarians by this post. We are not all rude and strange.

This "invite" is both. A party with a fee? And directions about what to give?

Please! Not in my life. Not in my world.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2013, 06:50 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
Reputation: 31039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gettingouttahere View Post
Yeah, I knew years ago that these people were what they are. It wasn't a surprise to me that they'd do something like this. I was sharing it more to get some validation for my outrage than because I was stunned. My husband is much better at letting stuff go; I'm the kind who nurses grudges forever. I realize that I do myself more harm by doing this -- it's one area where I find it really hard to be mature, though. I hate letting stuff go when I'm right, dammit!!

It is probably good that they moved away. Maybe the girls will drift apart and neither of you will have to deal with that family anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2013, 11:47 PM
 
Location: South Bay Native
13,048 posts, read 21,158,596 times
Reputation: 22514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
OP - invite them to your daughter's next party. Serve pulled pork, beef jerky and cheese fries. Bonus points if you hold it at a slaughter house.
Oh no, a suckling pig skewered on a spit, with the obligatory red apple wedged between its piggly chompers is de rigeur in such a case. I'd make sure there were platters of assorted deli meats with bacon-wrapped everything. The only veg I'd have out is the parsley garnish. How about bobbing for apples in a basin filled with red punch to look like blood? Did I mention Rocky Mountain oysters?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-22-2013, 12:49 PM
 
1,168 posts, read 1,828,027 times
Reputation: 1074
LOL, DontH8Me. The funny thing is that we throw a huge party every summer that involves a weekend of barbecuing and smoking ribs and pork and turkey and salmon. Serious carnivore food. These folks attend every year and until two years ago were some of the heartiest consumers of the meats. I mean -- a half-rack of ribs apiece. Easily.

But now, in addition to them, we have other vegan and vegetarian friends, and we always make a ton of food they can eat too.

(It obviously never struck them as a good thing to do, though.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top