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I don't think it is a matter of judging ONE family as seeing a trend in bratty kids. In any event, the fact that a situation may be stressful seems irrelevant if the expectation that a person (and child) can and should behave well under stress.
This reminds me of a story in the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The author was on a train in the city and a bunch of unruly kids came on causing havoc. When someone on the train made a comment to the father about needing to rein in his kids, he commented that he supposed he should, but they had just left the hospital after watching mom die and they just didn't know how to handle things just then. Somebodynew, i hope you are never in a situation where you are expected to behave well under extreme stress. Actually, i was much more judgmental before my struggles, so in the end, even though perfection was not possible, i think we are all better off for having gone through it.
This reminds me of a story in the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The author was on a train in the city and a bunch of unruly kids came on causing havoc. When someone on the train made a comment to the father about needing to rein in his kids, he commented that he supposed he should, but they had just left the hospital after watching mom die and they just didn't know how to handle things just then. Somebodynew, i hope you are never in a situation where you are expected to behave well under extreme stress. Actually, i was much more judgmental before my struggles, so in the end, even though perfection was not possible, i think we are all better off for having gone through it.
I think my point is not getting across. I am not suggesting that anyone ought to be judging anyone else. Only that ineffective parenting techniques DO exist. The point about judging any individual person out in the world is the kind of distraction that confuses the Larry-thinkers into logical leaps like we are all a bunch of people who advocate not expecting our children to behave because they might be "stressed".
I think my point is not getting across. I am not suggesting that anyone ought to be judging anyone else. Only that ineffective parenting techniques DO exist. The point about judging any individual person out in the world is the kind of distraction that confuses the Larry-thinkers into logical leaps like we are all a bunch of people who advocate not expecting our children to behave because they might be "stressed".
So you are saying that kids should behave well under stress like the stresses of everyday life. The car is too hot, my socks are uncomfortable, i really wanted chocolate ice cream, but they only had vanilla -- which is different than major life upheaval stress. Is that it? If that is what you mean, I totally agree.
Why? Are kids not capable of being well behaved on airplanes? As much as I think Larry's "technique" advice stinks, I don't think this is correct either. I think this kind of answer just fuels Larry-like views. Kids can and should be expected to behave themselves. If you (one, the parent not you personally) are not actually achieving that goal, then maybe Larry has a point. It depends what you believe is possible and required. In my opinion, children are capable of self control and good behavior at an age much younger than many think.
I set the bar a bit lower for behaviour in aeroplanes because often their ears are hurting so I allow whinging and moaning for instance but not running around or kicking chairs. And if they are in a waiting room because they are ill then I would expect behavious to not be as good as normal, but if its the parent thats ill not the child then they ought to behave (dependent on age, my daughter was a little brat for part of the time the last time I was in a hospital waiting room with her but she's only 2 and is still only learning self-control)
I set the bar a bit lower for behaviour in aeroplanes because often their ears are hurting so I allow whinging and moaning for instance but not running around or kicking chairs. And if they are in a waiting room because they are ill then I would expect behavious to not be as good as normal, but if its the parent thats ill not the child then they ought to behave (dependent on age, my daughter was a little brat for part of the time the last time I was in a hospital waiting room with her but she's only 2 and is still only learning self-control)
Why is whining ok if their ears hurt? Does whining help their ears not hurt?
Why is whining ok if their ears hurt? Does whining help their ears not hurt?
I think the age of the child makes a big difference here. Young children will whine or cry when they are in pain. Does it help the pain? No, but I cant imagine how a parent would stop it.
Why is whining ok if their ears hurt? Does whining help their ears not hurt?
Well actually crying helps their ears not hurt as it eases the pressure apparently but yeah I don't think its really very fair to tell a child off for whining for being in pain. I would be angry if someone told me off for moaning for being in pain.
Well actually crying helps their ears not hurt as it eases the pressure apparently but yeah I don't think its really very fair to tell a child off for whining for being in pain. I would be angry if someone told me off for moaning for being in pain.
I don't think you should tell a child off for anything!
Why is whining ok if their ears hurt? Does whining help their ears not hurt?
When you're in terrible pain, it's not easy to keep your cool. An adult will try to suffer in silence, but a tiny tot, not so much. They just can't. So blaming the parents for not knowing how to deal with their child is ridiculous in this type of situation.
I don't think you should tell a child off for anything!
Not for anything? You don't tell a child off for hitting you?
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