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My son has had a very difficult kindergarten year -- didn't get along with his teacher, was diagnosed with ADHD, and somehow lost 20 IQ points and is now struggling in math, which he used to love. Now basic concepts seem to elude him and he gets very frustrated. What annoys me is that he keeps declaring something is easy and then tries to remember a math problem, when all he needs to do is just count! He puts undue pressure on himself to remember the answers instead of actually learning what they are. I try to tell him memorization comes later, but he has to be able to show his work (which starts 1st grade I've been told).
Unfortunately, DH gets super frustrated with DS which does not help at all. I tell him to step away when he perceives DS is being "lazy" although his teachers have said that when he can't figure something out, he asks the teacher to just give him the answer. He loves doing those math minute worksheets but again it's encouraging memorization and going fast instead of him really knowing his fives and tens. He actually got stumped by 15+10 last night when he used to be able to do these fine before last summer. DS also got upset one day in the car and told me of a classmate who can do complex subtraction and "why can't he"? I found out this boy has always been especially gifted in math, but I do want to boost DS' confidence again.
How do we stop getting frustrated when we are working with math with him and he said 35+5 is 20. Most of the time he just guesses until DH starts getting frustrated... I've just learned to stop the exercise and tell him that we can have fun doing math together again when he's ready to be serious about it. DH just can't let him be "dopey" about it - I understand but there's got to be a better way to help him come to the right answer. He used to LOVE getting math workbooks from me as a surprise gift - now he sees it as "more work."
Academic camp to help boost his skills before 1st grade or just leave it to us to build up his skills at home?
Our kids went to some popular academic program one summer. I do not remember what it was called, but it was the trendy things for young parents out to make "better" children. They had some sort of point system and they could use the points for some sort of prizes. It was mostly computer time with tutors there. It was expensive.
It certainly helped some of them the following year, and maybe even into the year after. Their peers caught up eventually. A bad idea? No not at all. A waste of money? Possibly, but it certainly did not hurt anything. It may have helped convey the importance of education to them. Plus it was fun. The only negative thing about it is we now have to admit getting caught up into the trendy parenting stuff for a time (they had really good marketing).
I am thinking if math right now frustrates him, a summer camp dedicated to math might just frustrate him, and make him hate it even more. Especially if he is having a hard time getting it, and if the other campers are, lets say gifted in math, then he may find himself being ridiculed by the other children.
Perhaps there are ways you can sneak in math and make it fun for him again, without using worksheets? Is there a tutor you could hire that you could say is coming over to "play" with him, so it does not sound like work or teaching?
Maybe he needs to see the math in applied ways instead of doing worksheets?
Honestly it depends on what the Math Camp entails. I know DS is only 6, but have you discussed this possibility with him?
I've had the same problem with my DD as well... but her issue seem to be a concentration/processing ability rather than a subject issue. Someone told me if DD has difficulty with math that I should find a Kumon Center as they approach it differently and break it down in a much simpler terms in an age appropriate manner. Right now I have only their books and DD enjoys that immensely and wants to finish it up within a week.
I am thinking if math right now frustrates him, a summer camp dedicated to math might just frustrate him, and make him hate it even more. Especially if he is having a hard time getting it, and if the other campers are, lets say gifted in math, then he may find himself being ridiculed by the other children.
Perhaps there are ways you can sneak in math and make it fun for him again, without using worksheets? Is there a tutor you could hire that you could say is coming over to "play" with him, so it does not sound like work or teaching?
Maybe he needs to see the math in applied ways instead of doing worksheets?
Sorry if you have already tried all of this
This /\, especially the bolded.
The example you cited of his inability to correctly add 35+ 5 sounds as if he once had the answer memorized, but never understood the concept. Math camp might work well to help him with this, but make absolutely sure you have full info about camp activities: is it all computerized? How much hands-on math do the kids get? Do they spend time playing math games with each other, or is it each child sitting in front of a computer for most of the day?
See if your local library has children's books with math activities and games, and see if you can incorporate math activities into the daily family routine. The supermarket and the kitchen are good places for this, but so can be board games that require simple addition and subtraction.
Oh, yeah - tell his dad to back off. Getting frustrated never helps anything, and is likely to make a six-year-old detest math - and possibly detest dad as well.
Whatever you decide, getting your son to comprehend the concepts will need to come first, before he can move on very far.
My kids went to a few academically leaning camps. As long as the emphasis is on fun and exploration, they can demonstrate the pleasurable part of learning. I wouldn't rule it out, I would just check the curriculum closely to make sure it didn't echo summer school (which I don't think is necessary at your child's young age.)
Try to ease up and take some of the heat out of it. It sounds like it's becoming a battleground and that won't help him learn math any more easily. He's putting pressure on himself to memorize the answers to get it right because he senses how important it is to you and perhaps that you and/or your husband are disappointed in him. But he can't will himself to know it, he has to be taught it or relearn it.
I wouldn't underestimate the effect of not getting along with his teacher, both on him personally and on his ability to learn or want to learn. It's not clear how much is a personality conflict issue and how much is behavior-based? Either way, that's a real shame for the first year of school. If there are certain things about a classroom environment that you know would help him to do well and feel positive about school, now is the time to be his advocate at school in terms of trying for a better teaching fit for next year.
I have a soon-to-be seven year old who is just finishing First Grade, and I have to say that his teacher's approach to teaching math was uninspired at best, and incredibly boring at worst. Death by a thousand worksheets. They have their place, but not as the main method of learning.
Pull out some games that involve math instead, like Battleship, Uno, or Last Card. Yahtzee in particular is brilliant because there are the visual cues of the die, they have to think about strategy, and the luck element adds some excitement to it (and allows room for good grace in defeat if the die "didn't go your way").
In terms of camp, what about looking instead at something that he is already, or could be, quite good at? Nothing breeds success like success, and you could find that if he feels a sense of competence in one area, it may start to spill over into other areas. I would especially look at a camp that is based around physical activity, both because of his age and gender and because of the ADHD. The right martial arts camp can do wonders, teaching kids to productively control and channel their energy, as well as being able to tolerate struggling at times. He'd be part of a group, but there's not quite the same pressure to perform as there is in a team sport. There's also some great Lego camps around, which involve both math and science, and the kids just see it as playing and having fun.
If he's had a rough year, I'd lay off the academics and be looking for the things that will help him to feel happier in general so that he can approach the new school year at the end of summer with a different, more positive mindset. If he got maths before, he'll get it again once he's in the right environment.
I'm not familiar with summer math camps. Most of the camps my two have attended have been fun and outdoorsy oriented. The past several years, they've had camp at our swim club which is fantastic.
Both my kids did Kumon for several years including the summer. It only required two visits to the Kumon center per week and daily homework. I found that it really helped their math skills. Through repetition and practice, they became very quick solving problems. For my daughter at least, she moved ahead of her peers and kept ahead for a year or so. The only problem we found, and perhaps it was just our Kumon center, is that they showed little tips and tricks to solving problems but as the material got more complicated, they didn't do that great of a job explaining some of the more difficult math concepts. For the earlier material though, it really helped. To get through the daily homework which never lets up, the kids became very efficient. They knew that if you did it wrong, you had to spend additional time at the Kumon center correcting mistakes, lol.
I'm a big believer in letting the kids have fun during the summer. There is always time to practice academic skills but summer should be for fun times, getting the kids outside, swimming, etc.
He is six. He will not graduate from high school not knowing how to add 10 plus 15. Good grief. Do some real-life stuff and forget the drills. When my son was that age, he liked talking at length about how many people we'd have to fit in the car/at the dining room table/in the backyard if he invited over all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their friends. Or how many cookies we'd need if all of the "good guy" Transformers came over one afternoon. Just let him relate to numbers in an age-appropriate way... there's plenty of time later for math camps and drilling him on addition, if you really feel the need.
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