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My daughter used to insist on sleeping in my bed. If we kicked her out, she roamed the house screaming and crying at the top of her lungs all night. We eventually got her to move to a small bed in the corner of our bedroom, then to share a room with her big sister. When we moved, she made a huge fuss about having her own room, so she got one. She only sleeps in there when we force her to sleep there, and then she insists on taking benadryl to sleep. Most of the time, she sleeps in her big sister's bed. I bought a queen bed for our older daughter so there'd be room for both of them.
Maybe you can move your little guy in with his brother.
She got her own room because she made a huge fuss......she "insists" on using drugs to get to sleep....?
I'm so glad my wife and I didn't let our son sleep in our bed all the time when he was an infant. Now at 20 months he pretty much sleeps through the whole night.
Let me ask you this. If he FREAKED OUT because he could not have a cookie, would you react the same way that you are reacting to this freaking out? And if no, what is the difference? Do you really believe that at 2 he NEEDS to be touching her at all times? I will bet my last dollar that he manages to play without touching her constantly.
Dunno if this is the case with the OP or not but sometimes toddlers goes through phases when they need extra comfort at night. My daughter went through a very brief (thank goodness!!) phase when she had to be touching my face to fall asleep at night. We had just gone through a major change in life and she needed that extra comfort and security but it was only at night she needed it as that was when she felt the most vulnerable I guess.
Does your 21 month old sleep in his own room for naps? (if you answered this already, I missed it).
You've had lots of different suggestions so far. About the only other thing I can come up with to toss out there would be to use his bed for nap (and eventually bedtime), and if you have a couple of laptops, make nap/bed time fun by starting out with a Skype session. This might help him see that "away" doesn't mean "gone," and sweet little words and blowing kisses could continue for a few minutes via screen after you have left his room.
I can't say I've ever known anyone who tried this. I was just wracking my brain to come up with something else you could try.
My daughter used to insist on sleeping in my bed. If we kicked her out, she roamed the house screaming and crying at the top of her lungs all night. We eventually got her to move to a small bed in the corner of our bedroom, then to share a room with her big sister. When we moved, she made a huge fuss about having her own room, so she got one. She only sleeps in there when we force her to sleep there, and then she insists on taking benadryl to sleep. Most of the time, she sleeps in her big sister's bed. I bought a queen bed for our older daughter so there'd be room for both of them.
Maybe you can move your little guy in with his brother.
I know desperate times call for desperate measures, but there's no way that you should be giving a kid benadryl to sleep because she insists on it. This seems wrong in so many ways.
My daughter used to insist on sleeping in my bed. If we kicked her out, she roamed the house screaming and crying at the top of her lungs all night. We eventually got her to move to a small bed in the corner of our bedroom, then to share a room with her big sister. When we moved, she made a huge fuss about having her own room, so she got one. She only sleeps in there when we force her to sleep there, and then she insists on taking benadryl to sleep. Most of the time, she sleeps in her big sister's bed. I bought a queen bed for our older daughter so there'd be room for both of them.
Maybe you can move your little guy in with his brother.
This is the next strategy, we actually just bought a bunk bed 2 days ago, should arrive in about a week. "Bunk Bed" is a relative term, it's more like the pic attached, with the little guy on the bottom of course.
First don't feel bad. This is not your "fault", this is just mammals doing what mammals do.
Second, I will recommend an alternative to the above comments (although I agree with some of them!).
Instead of working on sleep, work on mommy attachment. It's time for him to learn that a new baby is coming and he will need to learn to start slowly detaching from mom. The newborn's cries will disturb him greatly and your wife cannot fully attend to the newborn's needs if he continues this way.
So, start with toddler/daddy dates more & more frequently. Do the bathing, do the dressing, do everything you can when you are home. This is what we did. When the baby came, he started to want to be with daddy more and realized that mommy was for the baby. He is now much happier to sleep on a mattress with daddy instead of with mommy. Then, you can transition him to you slowly leaving the room.
This is going to happen anyways with the new baby - might as well start now. The sleep can coincide with the transition.
if people want to think cosleeping is ridiculous then they can go right ahead but we were never meant to sleep in separate caves so don't bash it.
This is the next strategy, we actually just bought a bunk bed 2 days ago, should arrive in about a week. "Bunk Bed" is a relative term, it's more like the pic attached, with the little guy on the bottom of course.
That's exactly what we had, we put a toddler bed into the space for the bottom bunk, because their bedroom at the time was only 10x10 and we wanted to maximize floor space. We gave her a little lamp to light the space her bed was in, and put glow-in-the-dark stars on the underside of the top bunk. We acted like giving her the new bed was a reason for a celebration, had some cupcakes while sitting on the new bed, etc. so she would think it was exciting and not a punishment.
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