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Old 06-16-2013, 07:07 AM
 
Location: San Marcos, TX
2,572 posts, read 6,289,898 times
Reputation: 3999

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tulani View Post

And to 20yrsinBranson... if a 16 year old girl needs adult supervision at all times then that 16 year old has more problems than just needing a babysitter.

Sure, times have changed, but at 16 I was the babysitter doing weekend long jobs. I was out from under Mommy's thumb at age 7.

I guess this age of technology is making our children too immature to handle life without constant adult supervision until the age of 18. Poor dears.
I was babysitting a toddler when I was twelve, all day in summer (of course looking back now, as a parent, I think the mother of that child was nuts!), babysat nonstop until I had my first paid non-sitter job at 14 (which included weekend travel), by sixteen I was in a school work program where I had a half day of school then went to work right after lunch so I was working 30 hours a week, then that same year worked at a doughnut shop where I closed alone several nights a week and got out around 11pm. Had my own car, did my own maintenance, paid for all my own stuff beyond food and housing my mother provided, moved out at 17.

I must have been some kind of prodigy!?
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Old 06-16-2013, 08:24 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,840,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jetsfan99 View Post
I have a 16 year old daughter and would like to monitor her computer usage because I am not sure what she is up to with her new friends and want to make sure she isn't talking to any strangers. Is there a way for me to see what she is doing while I am at work and not able to watch her computer use?
My kids don't get their own computers at that age, they use MY computer and it's in a common area of the house. They can use it but they have to obey the rules when it comes to how it's used. My daughter wasn't too much into the computer at that age, mostly she used it for looking up recipes and crochet patterns, none of my kids were interested in chat rooms or social media very much however at age 17, my daughter had a myspace account and had address and phone number posted. So I created an account with a very parent kind of alias, and asked her to be my friend, she told me to find my own friends and made her page private, so we then talked about the foolishness of posting personal information where even parents can see it.
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Old 06-16-2013, 01:14 PM
 
Location: central Oregon
1,856 posts, read 2,032,061 times
Reputation: 2382
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blazah1080 View Post
It isn't making them too immature, it's making them incredibly more accountable for their actions, because all of their actions are recorded and videos/pictures are taken of their actions.

It also makes it easier for less desirable people to get in touch with your kids. This is where you need to monitor because it is an actual safety issue.
I would say that if teenagers need adult supervision until age 18 then they ARE very immature!

Recording devices just makes them stupid. (We did stupid things in our times, but we did not have devices to record our stupidity for the world to see - thankfully.)
It's the kids, not the technology. Of course they are held accountable for their actions... stupid enough to do it, stupid enough to post it, then unlucky enough to face the consequences.

However, I do agree with you about those less than desirable people. Some kids need to be told again and again about such dangers, others get it quicker.

There is this button on the computer labeled "Off" and it often got used when my son was having computer troubles (mostly discussion with friends that got heated). If this box causes drama then the box goes black!

Really, I trusted my son - but, then again, he has Asperger's and does not think like normal people, so letting him do his thing has always been our way of life.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally_Sparrow View Post
I was babysitting a toddler when I was twelve, all day in summer (of course looking back now, as a parent, I think the mother of that child was nuts!), babysat nonstop until I had my first paid non-sitter job at 14 (which included weekend travel), by sixteen I was in a school work program where I had a half day of school then went to work right after lunch so I was working 30 hours a week, then that same year worked at a doughnut shop where I closed alone several nights a week and got out around 11pm. Had my own car, did my own maintenance, paid for all my own stuff beyond food and housing my mother provided, moved out at 17.

I must have been some kind of prodigy!?
I guess you were!

My point was that as 16 year olds we were mature enough to be working without mom or dad watching over our shoulders. I certainly hope 16 year olds today are just as capable as we were. It is just too sad to think that most would need constant adult supervision until age 18.

I actually know someone who treated her kids this way. The result? They all left home before the age of 18 because they could not stand mom down their throats every minute of the day. She treated them like babies and expected them to do all the housework and cooking (while she hung around her air conditioned bedroom). It was sad to see and nothing I said to the mom would make her change her ways. Mostly I watched in silence.

We have to let them fly before they are adults; we need to let them fail while they have our safety net beneath them.
I've seen too many college freshman get into trouble because they never learned street sense.
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:31 PM
 
5 posts, read 5,903 times
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I absolutely agree with you all. These days everyone is complaining when parents watch their kids in terms of privacy however back in my day there was no such thing as privacy as a child (under 18 years old).

Watching what our kids do online is important, especially after finding out what kinds of people are online on the chat sites. I would rather watch my daughter's online activity now than find out later she was hurt because I did not do my job as a parent.

I purchased the yoshistr keylogger, will try it out tonight and hopefully everything works without her finding out otherwise she will not trust me at all. I am sure she will make the right decisions but if she makes any mistakes hopefully I will be able to catch it before it is too late. I will keep you guys updated on how it turns out.
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:35 PM
 
5 posts, read 5,903 times
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A lot of parents either let their kids do whatever they want without worrying or coach them on what they should do. I am allowing my daughter the freedom to do what she wants however I do want to make sure she isn't getting into trouble. If anyone attempts to lure her to their home, I hope to catch it before it escalates into something I would not be able to fix later on. I am surprised at a lot of parents these days letting their children do what they want especially online then finding out later that something happened. This is just my safety net and will ease my mind when I am at work but will also allow her to do what she wants online without direct supervision.
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:58 PM
 
12,941 posts, read 19,873,870 times
Reputation: 34062
Quote:
Originally Posted by jetsfan99 View Post
I absolutely agree with you all. These days everyone is complaining when parents watch their kids in terms of privacy however back in my day there was no such thing as privacy as a child (under 18 years old).

Watching what our kids do online is important, especially after finding out what kinds of people are online on the chat sites. I would rather watch my daughter's online activity now than find out later she was hurt because I did not do my job as a parent.

I purchased the yoshistr keylogger, will try it out tonight and hopefully everything works without her finding out otherwise she will not trust me at all. I am sure she will make the right decisions but if she makes any mistakes hopefully I will be able to catch it before it is too late. I will keep you guys updated on how it turns out.
There was no internet when I was a kid, but my parents never snooped. You are snooping. I wouldn't have a major issue with parental controls if you felt they were justified, but you aren't being honest with your daughter by hiding the keylogger. And, should you find something that you aren't happy with, you'll have to confess how you did it anyway.
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Old 06-17-2013, 06:20 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,173 posts, read 3,095,681 times
Reputation: 8722
Why would you think that someone would try to lure your 16-year-old out of your home? The entire premise sounds so out-there... it's kind of like not letting your 8-year-old go and get the mail lest someone kidnap her. Surely you've had discussions with your almost-adult child about Internet safety? In two years, she'll be a legal adult. Sixteen seems past the time for such intrusive snooping, and that's what it is. You're not giving her freedom at all; you're treating her like a little girl.
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,346 posts, read 80,946,704 times
Reputation: 17414
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabinerose View Post
Does she have a smart phone


she will find a thousand other ways to access the internet

I was going to write pretty much the same thing.

I use Microsoft Family Safety (it is free and effective and easy to use).

However, it only works for PCs I control in our home. I don't know how to control my kids' tablet and smart phone use.

Also, texting - not easy to monitor every text either.
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:42 AM
 
2,008 posts, read 2,065,745 times
Reputation: 3075
You need to monitor and have lots of discussions. My friend is a counselr at in addition to scary predator types on the web, she has seen kids get arrested because if sexting and the like. Kids need to know that the Internet is forever. She will thank you later for helping her abound those embarrassing or even illegal pictures that will follow her for years
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:43 AM
 
2,008 posts, read 2,065,745 times
Reputation: 3075
Not abound, avoid
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