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Old 10-12-2006, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
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What if you dont do the things your kids are doing? like smoking and sneaking out and cussing, what if the parents dont do these things and neither do the other children in the house? how can it be learned in the house, if it isnt in the house.
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Old 10-12-2006, 11:59 AM
 
Location: God's Country
21,417 posts, read 29,545,781 times
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Anyone ever had to teach your child to be bad?
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Old 10-12-2006, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA View Post
Anyone ever had to teach your child to be bad?
My oldest that is in college, NEVER gave me an instant of issues, nothing wrong at shcool ,a's and b's no phone calls from other parents, cops not one complaint, sometimes I would actually find myself wishing he would go do something. he didnt hang out with other kids at the mall or movies, didnt go to parties or anything, I sometimes think it is programmed in a child when they are born, my others are typical kids, but dont get into to much trouble but my 13 year old is doing everything the others dont. Makes me wonder.
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Old 10-12-2006, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Petersburg, VA
72 posts, read 268,635 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RAINBOWWAVES View Post
Kids are like a lump of clay. It's not going to mold its self now is it? I saw a study done where babies were 6 mos of age, 3 girls and 3 boys. The boys were boppin the girls in the head and face and pushing them down..At 6 mos old!!!! That proves that's the age to start the molding. They have to be told and shown that the behavior is unacceptable. But i have seen over and over that mothers pretty much ignore thier kids...a little problem becomes a big problem. How can parents that both work possibly hope to raise decent kids? My friend who is a proffessor said kids start school with an attitude...all they say and do is fashioned after what was learned in the household.


How can parents that both work hope to raise decent kids?
I work and my husband works. I admit it's really, really tough to balance but I know I have two great kids and I see my coworkers with great kids too- who have graduated colleges and have good jobs, and still have good, very close relationships with them.
When I get home I try to focus much on my two, help with homework, play, do laundry. Dinner is a big struggle though.
My son who is school age goes to a 7th Day adventist school with very small class sizes, a teacher who really cares for him. We could not afford to do this if both of us didn't work. I don't believe he's started school with an attitude, he loves it, he would rather play video games like any kid but he gets good attention at school.
We have no cable tv in our house so we control what they see.
I also hope that by working my husband and I will have a decent retirement. That's why we work.
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Old 10-12-2006, 02:43 PM
 
7,059 posts, read 15,997,046 times
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Yes, sometimes both parents have to work and then there are families where the mom is lucky enough to be able to stay at home with the kids. When the mom is able to stay at home, the dad has to make enough money to pay all the bills....which takes a darn good education (Degree) and sometimes too many hours at work.
I remember a gal that I dated years ago that was a "stay at home mom" for two teens. At the time I met her, she was going through a divorce. Her husband had a good job, but he did have to work a lot of overtime to make a good income for the family. They had a nicely furnished 2-story house, jacuzzi, ski boat, motorhome and jet ski. She told me once that she approached her husband (before they broke up) and asked him why he didn't spend more time with her and the kids. His response, "which do you want, a family man or the nice things you have? You can't have both!"
What do you think of his answer to her????
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Old 10-12-2006, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Yes, sometimes both parents have to work and then there are families where the mom is lucky enough to be able to stay at home with the kids. When the mom is able to stay at home, the dad has to make enough money to pay all the bills....which takes a darn good education (Degree) and sometimes too many hours at work.
I remember a gal that I dated years ago that was a "stay at home mom" for two teens. At the time I met her, she was going through a divorce. Her husband had a good job, but he did have to work a lot of overtime to make a good income for the family. They had a nicely furnished 2-story house, jacuzzi, ski boat, motorhome and jet ski. She told me once that she approached her husband (before they broke up) and asked him why he didn't spend more time with her and the kids. His response, "which do you want, a family man or the nice things you have? You can't have both!"
What do you think of his answer to her????
I actually have both, my husband is home by 6 and has the weekends off, he has a degree but didnt go thatway as far as work and makes good money so I can stay home. Lucky I guess
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Old 10-12-2006, 03:33 PM
 
Location: Living in Paradise
5,702 posts, read 21,917,846 times
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Thumbs up Raising Kids Today.....Is It Really Tough??

As many of you, we are also a working family and to add greater pressure we (family) carry out 22 plus year in the United States Air Force, with 7 relocations (state/overseas). Our two children now 24 & 19 years old experienced the good, bad and ugliness of change of schools, friends, locations, etc. But during this time, we made an effort to ensure that we did not place our kids to a 2nd or 3er positions. We placed them first. Many times I was gone for 6 months at a time and the wife was the stronghold that took care of the needs of everyone. She work 9 – 5 and after hours took care of everything that was my responsibly but I could take care at that time.

My children played sport, attended church every week (still do), join groups and did the same as everyone else. But we work hard early in our marriage to develop values that were lasting and we were open to discuss any issue with our children.

Peer pressure is the greatest danger; they need to know what peer pressure is and they can say “NO”. They have a choice and they must stand to their convictions and good moral judgment.

Values & communication are key to successfully build your children traits. If you have values implanted early in their life, they will retain and grow with positive morale traits and because they can ask you “the parent” questions, you can give the proper advice.

If we deliver proper values, we are to see young Americans ready to engage in life and be positive roles for others. They do have a lot to learn, but they know the difference of good and bad, and if they need advice they know were to go to find it.
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Old 10-12-2006, 05:29 PM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,593 times
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I thought about this all day and I think the best thing I did for my daughter was to make sure she had a great father.
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Old 10-12-2006, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Southern Ca but getting out soon
892 posts, read 2,172,513 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nea1 View Post
What if you dont do the things your kids are doing? like smoking and sneaking out and cussing, what if the parents dont do these things and neither do the other children in the house? how can it be learned in the house, if it isnt in the house.
By talking to them about it. Before it happens. Pointing it out while in public. We don't smoke but while in public my son will say "eeewwww" from the smell and I will tell him smoking is bad for you and it makes you stink. and when he is a little older I will add that it will kill you too. He has a curious george book that shows George smoking a cigar, that book has now gone bye bye. But I also explain to him that other parents raise their children differently than I do. Like when he sees his friends doing or getting something that he is not allowed to do or have. I tell him some Moms let their kids climb up slides or on dangerous stuff, or have soda, or run across to the other end of the park, I do not. He might whine but too bad.
If I see a mother ripping her child a new one, I will tell my son that it is not right to talk to anyone like that and he should never do it. I don't care if the mother hears me either. and I will do that untill he is out of my house.
If you don't want your child to have a tattoo, of course explain to them that they don't come off and show them one on a 70 year person. That might change their mind.
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Old 10-12-2006, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
Reputation: 2086
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingfortheperfectplace View Post
By talking to them about it. Before it happens. Pointing it out while in public. We don't smoke but while in public my son will say "eeewwww" from the smell and I will tell him smoking is bad for you and it makes you stink. and when he is a little older I will add that it will kill you too. He has a curious george book that shows George smoking a cigar, that book has now gone bye bye. But I also explain to him that other parents raise their children differently than I do. Like when he sees his friends doing or getting something that he is not allowed to do or have. I tell him some Moms let their kids climb up slides or on dangerous stuff, or have soda, or run across to the other end of the park, I do not. He might whine but too bad.
If I see a mother ripping her child a new one, I will tell my son that it is not right to talk to anyone like that and he should never do it. I don't care if the mother hears me either. and I will do that untill he is out of my house.
If you don't want your child to have a tattoo, of course explain to them that they don't come off and show them one on a 70 year person. That might change their mind.


I did talk about smoking alot, I quit after eight years, but they never knew I smoked, he says he doesnt like the taste but his friends do it!!! Where are their parents, I always thought these were the good kids. I cant say anything about tattoos as I have two on my lower legs and my husband has three, but I do tell them it hurts like h**l and that I waited until I was older to do it.
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