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Old 10-14-2006, 04:11 AM
 
Location: on an island
13,374 posts, read 40,168,811 times
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Of course making choices is making judgments.

It just depends what your criteria is.

The Class President at my high school was (and is) a pompous hypocrite and I would never have made any choices based on him as a role model.

Kids usually first get their criteria from us, their parents, their main role models, but many kids, even smart, good ones, will take risks and experiment as they get older.
It's true that will observe what their friends and possibly older kids do.
During the teenage years, rebellion is always lurking within--for some, more than others.
The choices a kid makes come down to listening to the conscience his parents helped create, or listening to peer pressure--or a combination of the two.

I think that maybe these days, there might be more ways that things can go wrong for kids. Sixty years ago we had World War II to worry about.
That was HUGE.
Now we have all these new societal trends and scientific innovations that we never had before; quality of life has improved for minorities and women.
But back in 1944, we did not have to consider that our daughters might unknowingly ingest date rape drugs at a party, or that our sons might be awake most of the night staring at internet ****, or that either of them might be fooling around with foreign-made semiautomatic assault weapons.

In this aquisitive, technological, credit card age, we own, and see, and *do* so much, but our Ritalin, Prozac,Viagra Nation tends to lose sight of the basics.

However, if the path to achieving it might be a bit more convoluted,
the *formula* for raising a child is pretty much the same:

Love, patience, communication.
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Old 10-14-2006, 04:17 AM
 
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Very well put, cil!
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Old 10-14-2006, 05:02 AM
 
Location: on an island
13,374 posts, read 40,168,811 times
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Thanks Grammy.
Wow, I typed a four letter non-cuss slang word and it got turned into stars.
For those of you who are curious, it starts with the letter P and ends with N.
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Old 10-15-2006, 05:57 AM
 
Location: Galveston, Texas
169 posts, read 616,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grammy164 View Post
I don't think it's any harder today. I think it's same as it's always been. Lots of love, trust and support--be a good roll model.
grammy I couldn't agree more! While I think that there are alot more issues facing our kids today, as long as we as parents keep on the ball there really shouldn't be a problem. Everyone I know says I'm old-fashioned in the way I raise my kids but hey, it works. We set down firm rules and consistant punishments but always always always let our kids know how much they mean to us and that we're always here for them no matter what. We do the "i love you" thing with the phone too! I wasn't told enough as a child by my parents that they cared so it's always important to me to tell them all the time how much they matter.

About the tattoo thing, it's my personal opinion that a child should never get one. I've told my kids that when they are 18, they can make their own choices about that. If they want them, that's fine with us. I have, however, let them know how serious it is and that once put on it's very difficult and painful to have removed. My husband and I both have tattoos and I don't see anything wrong in having them. We are solid Christian people with strong morals that just happen to enjoy body art. Now I do agree that they should be in a place where they can be covered up for work.

Too many people judge on outward appearance. The reason kids get piercings is simply their own way of expressing themselves. My 15 year old doesn't have anything like that, but she does dress in primarily all black and wears those t-shirts with the angsty sayings on them. She is an A+ student, part of the National Honor Roll, a member of the German Honor Society and already has colleges sending her scholarship information. She has more morals and self-discipline than most adults. What her personal choice in presenting herself is makes absolutely no difference in the type of person she is.
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Old 10-15-2006, 10:55 AM
 
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Everyone has their own opinions on the tattoo, body piercing and "raising kids" topics.....and that is fine. As far as raising kids, some parents have more time/make more time that others to be with their kids. Other parents have the money/time to take their kids on trips or other family events. There are parents that are very liberal with their kids and then other parents that are strict, even sometimes too strict. Shoot, I thought my parents were strict with me until I joined the Navy and found out what "real" strictness was all about. Saying "Sir" everytime I talked to an Officer, making sure my "dress uniform" was always clean and shoes shined enough I could see my teeth in them and had to be "on time" for everything. Wow, the military can really teach a person about the word RESPECT.
The tattoos/body piercing thing......the wife and I still don't like it and wish that it would "go back to where it came from". We are entitled to our opinion...right? And, we have to respect people that like it or it don't bother. We just refuse to have friends that have them (the "normal" tattoo/lady ear piercing is fine).
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Old 10-15-2006, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
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Wow you are probably missing out on some really great people, Us for example!!! Now I dont have tattoos all over just two on my lower legs, but my husband has three, two on one arm and one on the other, and an ear peirced. I think we are pretty cool people.
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Old 10-15-2006, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Traverse City, MI
622 posts, read 2,501,652 times
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Yes, you are entitled to your opinion, LoveBoating, and I'm glad you are honest and share! But I disagree very much. I think that yes, you are missing out on some wonderful friendships! I don't think it is any different than judging someone based on the color of their skin.

I think tattoos are beautiful! They are a form of expression. They are living art. It's so sad to me that people label those of us with tattoos. I just don't understand why. I have tattoos and I was on the dean's list throughout college, had a 3.9 GPA, was a member of the Honor Society, Editor of my college literary magazine, and I recycle. But, even if I didn't accomplish any of those things, my tattoos don't make me a bad person.

To be fair, I am also guilty of judgemental behavior, I think we all are. When I see someone who is dressed really nicely (not just well groomed, I mean overboard, like they belong to a country club or something) I probably wouldn't talk to them at all. And that's not right, either. We all have our misconceptipns about others.
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Old 10-15-2006, 11:24 AM
 
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Well, we are an "older" (late 50's) couple. Most couples from our generation don't have that stuff, except for the military type tattoos. We come from that generation that didn't have this stuff and we are still "oldfashioned" when it comes to that kind of stuff. We also don't make friends with people who smoke or cuss a lot......our choice and we like it that way.
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Old 10-15-2006, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Well, we are an "older" (late 50's) couple. Most couples from our generation don't have that stuff, except for the military type tattoos. We come from that generation that didn't have this stuff and we are still "oldfashioned" when it comes to that kind of stuff. We also don't make friends with people who smoke or cuss a lot......our choice and we like it that way.
I think it depends on where you come from, my dad is 70 and has a couple tattoos, he got later in life, figured he only lived once, and my moms husband has several. I dont like smoking either but if my friends respect me enough and dont smoke in my face, I am cool with them. My mom was born and 1945 and loved all the 60's freedom vibes, but she didnt get a tattoo because she hated needles. But it is cool to have your own ways, thats what makes life great.
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Old 10-15-2006, 12:35 PM
 
7,059 posts, read 15,997,046 times
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When I placed a Personal Ad six years ago, I stated very clearly about my looks and that I didn't have any tattoos or body piercings. My wife (now) was very happy that I was so truthful in the Ad. Also, just as a comment, we haven't seen any young people in our church that have tattoos/body piercing. And, during the summer when it's hot, people wear short-sleeved shirts to church and you would definitely know if they had tattoos on their arms....nope.
My wife has allergies/athsma and absolutely can not handle smoking around her. I use to chew and stopped that cause I got tired of it.
Now, for this topic: A lot of kids nowdays want a lot of stuff and, depending on the parents, get everything they want. Plainly speaking, they are very SPOILED. They see the Simpson's, Roseanne, Married with Children on TV and think they can talk to their parents that way. Boy, if real families were like those families, our society would be in BIG trouble. Problem is, some families are like those shows.
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