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Old 10-15-2006, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
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Not mine thank the lord I havent watched those shows in years.. And again not everyone has tattoos, doesnt matter if you go to church or not, I know alot that do and have tattoos, again nothng wrong with them. I can understand your wifes need to not be around smoke. I dont like it either thats why my firends have to smoke outside at my house. Glad you were so honest in your ad, most of them are not.
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Old 10-15-2006, 01:01 PM
 
7,048 posts, read 15,997,046 times
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Nea1
You guys are nice people ; can tell it by your replies. We may not agree on certain things, but you are definitly good people . It is a pleasure reading your responses .
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Old 10-15-2006, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Nea1
You guys are nice people ; can tell it by your replies. We may not agree on certain things, but you are definitly good people . It is a pleasure reading your responses .
Yours as well!!!!! it is okay to disagree, that is why it is so great there are so many different people in the world, makes life interesting!!
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Old 10-19-2006, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Jersey
2,098 posts, read 5,784,889 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txgrl View Post
grammy I couldn't agree more! While I think that there are alot more issues facing our kids today, as long as we as parents keep on the ball there really shouldn't be a problem. Everyone I know says I'm old-fashioned in the way I raise my kids but hey, it works. We set down firm rules and consistant punishments but always always always let our kids know how much they mean to us and that we're always here for them no matter what. We do the "i love you" thing with the phone too! I wasn't told enough as a child by my parents that they cared so it's always important to me to tell them all the time how much they matter.

About the tattoo thing, it's my personal opinion that a child should never get one. I've told my kids that when they are 18, they can make their own choices about that. If they want them, that's fine with us. I have, however, let them know how serious it is and that once put on it's very difficult and painful to have removed. My husband and I both have tattoos and I don't see anything wrong in having them. We are solid Christian people with strong morals that just happen to enjoy body art. Now I do agree that they should be in a place where they can be covered up for work.

Too many people judge on outward appearance. The reason kids get piercings is simply their own way of expressing themselves. My 15 year old doesn't have anything like that, but she does dress in primarily all black and wears those t-shirts with the angsty sayings on them. She is an A+ student, part of the National Honor Roll, a member of the German Honor Society and already has colleges sending her scholarship information. She has more morals and self-discipline than most adults. What her personal choice in presenting herself is makes absolutely no difference in the type of person she is.

Wow, you totally just described me and my husband (only he has no tats)!!! We feel the same way and I, as a teenager, was the one in all black and as of 18 I had a couple of tattoos and piercings, so my parents were pretty much the same way. Although I agree, I'd rather they wait until they're 18 (or even older, as you've said, tattoos are a serious issue that cannot simply be erased with an eraser....by the way, I totally regretted what tattoos I had at 17 and 18 and they are now covered by newer ink...I would never have picked what I did back then, now). I do believe that should my child decide to dress gothic or have 10 holes in their ears at 15, I'm a lucky parent. What they look like on the outside doesn't necessarily tell what they are about on the inside. If they are intelligent and kind, do well in school, know how to treat people and basically have a good head on their shoulders, I'd much rather have my child looking like (a "vampire" as my parents called it) then be somewhere I don't know about potentially doing drugs and hanging with the wrong crowd. Hmmmm, drugs/alcohol vs. hair dye/body piercings...not that those are the only routes to take, but I think between the two, I know what my choice would be.
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Old 10-19-2006, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Galveston, Texas
169 posts, read 616,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pixieshmoo View Post
What they look like on the outside doesn't necessarily tell what they are about on the inside. If they are intelligent and kind, do well in school, know how to treat people and basically have a good head on their shoulders, I'd much rather have my child looking like (a "vampire" as my parents called it) then be somewhere I don't know about potentially doing drugs and hanging with the wrong crowd. Hmmmm, drugs/alcohol vs. hair dye/body piercings...not that those are the only routes to take, but I think between the two, I know what my choice would be.
I completely agree
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Old 10-19-2006, 02:24 PM
 
7,048 posts, read 15,997,046 times
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Well, I don't agree with the "looks" thing. The appropriate/normal look for kid will not get looks, remarks, teasing, etc., etc. from other kids and adults. When a kid has what some people call, the "freaky" look that draws attention and sometimes remarks.....parents should stop that "look" when they first see their kid getting interested in it.
I remember listening to a physiologist once on the radio. A young girl called in and told the Dr. that she had moved from L.A. to a small town in Oregon and was pretty upset that a lot of the people in the town gave her looks and make small comments about her after they passed her on the sidewalk. The doctor asked her what she looked like and she said, I have some tattoos, tongue, nose and eyebrow is pierced. She said, "shouldn't I be able to live where ever I want to?" The doctor told her "yes, but just remember, where ever you live, if the people there look normal (no piercings/crazy tattoos), you have to expect/accept what will happen" (looks and remarks).
This I do believe. It's like be a sports figure or celebrity.....everyone wants to know everything that goes on in your life (good and bad).
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Old 10-19-2006, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Galveston, Texas
169 posts, read 616,379 times
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It's really sad that you feel that way. We should teach our children to be themselves, not some clone just so that they fit in and don't get teased. Well I was "normal" as a child and I was still ridiculed into seclusion. Why? I was an easy target. I was shy and they knew they could make me cry. They would use anything they could get their hands on to pick on me. It had nothing to do with what I wore or looked like. It wasn't until I was in high school and started standing up for myself that they stopped. Parents should never suppress a child's need to express themselves just to save them from possible humiliation. Teach your children to be who they want reguardless of what anyone might think or say. Teach them that it's ok to be who you are.
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Old 10-19-2006, 04:33 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,698,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txgrl View Post
It's really sad that you feel that way. We should teach our children to be themselves, not some clone just so that they fit in and don't get teased. Well I was "normal" as a child and I was still ridiculed into seclusion. Why? I was an easy target. I was shy and they knew they could make me cry. They would use anything they could get their hands on to pick on me. It had nothing to do with what I wore or looked like. It wasn't until I was in high school and started standing up for myself that they stopped. Parents should never suppress a child's need to express themselves just to save them from possible humiliation. Teach your children to be who they want reguardless of what anyone might think or say. Teach them that it's ok to be who you are.
I agree kids should be allowed to be individuals, I ,sad to say now, had a mohawk, my mom hated it because I was her little girl, but she allowed me to experiment, I dyed my hair crazy colors and such, didnt have tattoos or piercing (besides the four holes in my ears) but that was because of pain issues!! I grew up just fine, and normal and I dealt with the looks, I didnt care, made me a stronger person I think.
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Old 10-19-2006, 04:44 PM
 
Location: In exile, plotting my coup
2,408 posts, read 13,154,240 times
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A related article on Yahoo News was on it's main page the other day, talking about the increased acceptance in the workplace of body art. Apparently 50% of twenty-somethings have tattoos or piercings in "non-traditional" places.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061018/ap_on_bi_ge/business_of_life_8 (broken link)
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Old 10-19-2006, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Jersey
2,098 posts, read 5,784,889 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Well, I don't agree with the "looks" thing. The appropriate/normal look for kid will not get looks, remarks, teasing, etc., etc. from other kids and adults. When a kid has what some people call, the "freaky" look that draws attention and sometimes remarks

What I want to know is who's to say what is considered "normal" as opposed to "abnormal" or "weird"? I so totally disagree with you on this that if I go into the whole reason why, I'll be here until Tuesday. I'll try to make it short. I wore all black, all the time. I had a leather jacket, big black suede boots, I listened to heavy metal music, I wore black eyeliner and had posters all over my room. I had three earrings in each ear. I shaved the sides of my head once. I pierced my own nose (for 24 hours, then mom threatened me if I didn't take it out), I got my belly-button pierced and I have 3 tattoos. I got A's and B's in school. I had a bazillion friends (and no, not all of them looked like me). I got along great with my parents. I traveled. I went to college. I got married, had kids and am sooo totally normal that my kids think I was born just the way I am (corny) and that I was never "cool". So tell me again, what is your description of "normal"???? By the way, statistically speaking, most adolescents who dress and act that way, are full of creativity and move on to do something in the Arts when they're adults. I consider that "normal". Appropriate????? Ha. I was always taught by my parents that as long as I held my head high, as long as I carried myself with dignity and never let anyone talk me down, then I should never be embarassed of who I am. There's only one being above me that I need to "impress" for lack of a better word (and it's God). And if you consider my children, no I do not need to "impress" them, they are not my peers, I'm their role model (and I think I'm a pretty d*mn good role model considering my strength, loyalty, kindness and confidence). I raise, love, discipline, give confidence to them and guide them. Although I may not look like I did in high school, that girl who likes rock n' roll and tattoos is still there and if someone can't take the time to see through my whopping 3 tattoos to get to know me, well then, they're not worth my time. Some of the nicest people I've ever met ride Harleys. So again, show me where the definition of appropriate is because I always thought it meant how you act and not how you look. Lastly, if someone is going to be judgmental enough to base their opinion of you on your outward appearance, then I personally think that that is one pretty narrow-minded individual and I pity them. There are a lot of things I do not agree with these days and a ton of things I wouldn't want my kids to do, but how they look is so completely last on my list of worries that I don't even consider it an issue at all. We also live in a world where practically everyone draws attention. So what. Remember, years ago, parents thought Elvis and the Beatles were a bad thing too. How far do you think they would've gotten had they "worried" about looking and acting "normal"?

To each his own, but I think people need to stop being judgmental and superficial and worry about looking past the outside and knowing the inside, then maybe kids wouldn't feel like they have to "live up" to everyone's standards and be a little more confident with who they are and where they're going.

Another quick story. Ever hear of the Enigma? Look him up on the internet or on TLC/Discovery. He's covered from head to toe in blue tattoos that are one huge connecting puzzle (hence, Enigma). He has two little humps implanted in his forehead like horns. My little one, who won't talk to anyone unless I tell her it's okay, met him in Shoprite with my mother-in-law. She actually said hi first and told him her name. Then she proceeded to have an entire conversation with this "abnormal" looking stranger who maintained his end of the conversation as well. My point? That although he didn't look "normal", my daughter sensed his kindness and showed no fear whatsoever of this man, yet she will shun your ordinary average Joe if she doesn't trust you. So no, looks don't matter unless you carry yourself without dignity or class.

Last edited by pixieshmoo; 10-19-2006 at 05:20 PM..
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