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Old 10-22-2010, 09:46 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,004 times
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I completely feel your pain. I have four children myself. My oldest is seven and my youngest is turning two next month. I swear all of them have had the terrible twos. I will admit that I did not handle it well at all. Seeing as how my youngest is about to start I decided I needed major help this time.

Last edited by JustJulia; 10-25-2011 at 01:39 PM.. Reason: brand-new members may not post links, sorry
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Old 10-25-2011, 12:37 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,661 times
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oh goodness i thought i was loosing it. i have a nearly 13 year old girl and then my ball of fire 2 years a couple of months. sometimes i dont know who is worse...lol...
i pray for patience on a daily basis, and not just once a day. i am a stay at home mom until i can find a job and we all know how that is now a days. but i just get so overwhelmed. of course his dad tells me its normal. well he wasnt around for my daughters two but i cant say she was terrible...cute and dainty and always made everyone smile.
now pnut on the other hand, makes everyone smile with his buh byes and such, but wrecks everything. i have no keys on my laptop, had to buy a keyboard to sit ontop of the laptop. yes, i know according to my husband if its in his reach then its my fault. ok, i get that. but having all my stuff in closets that are latched closed and the laundry room is not that fair when he does not touch any of daddy's things...
all moms say your kids will be worse than you..my response---unless my daughter is a serial killer thats not possible..lol..hey, i grew up in miami...
anyhow my best friend said karma was trying to be nice and not overdo it on mai so she split it between mai and charley...
fabulous.
what i have started to do, and just recently but it worked for my friend. when the 2 year old(i wish it worked on the tween)does something wrong, plop them on their butt right then and there...no time out chair(but have one available) but if they start opening drawers and climbing==plop em down and say time out...you think they cry when they are in normal time out? well it is worse....but after a bit (a bit is a good 10 times or so) they start getting the picture...
my husband loathes the whole whispering thing...i just whisper charley if you are not good you won't get to play but the whisper gives to the kid the effect of a creepy thing about to happen in a scary movie..
i wont lie, i am literally having panic attacks...taking him to a story time this morning i wanted the floor to swallow me up..but i think now that i am starting to have him interact with kids more his age it will be easier to teach him...though he was a bad influence on a 3 year old in story time today...pnut wasnt paying attention to the book cos the teacher thought it was ok to hand him a toy...even i know better if you want his attention...i guess she didnt want him screaming bloody murder in the library..anyhow, the kid next to him kept moving around fidgiting and i was like ha to the mom in my head cos she kept looking at me cos her son was soooo good...so she tells him shhhh listen to the story...then he started acting up again and peanut (still playing) looked over at him put his finger to his mouth and said shhhhh...come on times like that are worth noting...gimme another hour and ill be back crying and rocking back and forth!!! especially since i am going to the market! thank you sooo much for the sanity b/c i thought i was just being a bad mom...
good luck all, i will pray for you to have some comfort and solace...remember the same for me...and i keep hearing about afternoon naps...what are those? happens once in a blue moon...
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Old 10-25-2011, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,459,280 times
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One-Two-Three.......time out! Don't scream. Follow through. Be consistent. Your little one isn't likely to STAY in time out right away. When you put him in time out, away from the rest of the family, you are going to have to commit your time to seeing that he stays there. Do not talk to him, to not answer him if he talks to you. Do not argue with him.

Don't tell him repeatedly not to do something. If you're in the kitchen and he's pushing buttons, tell him not to. Tell him that IF he does it again, he will be sent to time out. If you're the only one home...and you're cooking, you're going to have to have a time out chair spot pre-picked for him. If you have to turn off the dinner and supervise him, well....then you're going to have to do that. The important thing is to lay down the rules and stick to them.

It's TOUGH...I know it is, but for most kids, it doesn't take too long for you to get it through their heads that you MEAN it, when you tell him to STOP! My kids, and now my grandson, FLINCH when I start counting. LOL I do not count to 5 or 10....I count to three. If I reach three, you're in deep doo doo and there's no turning back.
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Old 10-26-2011, 12:54 PM
 
538 posts, read 708,414 times
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Actually, it's the terrible 3's, so OP--you ain't seen nuttin' yet.

(My wife couldn't stand when ours was 2...then he turned 3...oh, we wanted the 2yo back for anything.)
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
11,246 posts, read 12,855,541 times
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I stayed home with our twin sons (now 3 and a half) through the terrible twos (I'm a man) and I truly thought I was going insane! Imagine all the getting into things, tearing things up, screaming, tantrums, times TWO! Yes, they were adorable and I love them deeply. But I can honestly say, that was the absolute most challenging and difficult thing I've gone through in my life!

I went back to work when they were about 2.5, so they started Montessori school a year ago. For us, age 3 has been much better. Maybe their school helps, I don't know. But we were able to put things back out on tables, take down the baby gate, etc. You can leave them alone in a room without threat of disaster. My blood pressure is back to normal lol! They still have their moments, but nothing like the terrible twos. I'm looking forward to their 4th birthday since I've heard 4 is when things really start to get easier.
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Old 10-26-2011, 03:35 PM
 
7,902 posts, read 5,527,621 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonata36 View Post
Actually, it's the terrible 3's, so OP--you ain't seen nuttin' yet.

(My wife couldn't stand when ours was 2...then he turned 3...oh, we wanted the 2yo back for anything.)
This.


My advice is, get used to it, it will be over soon. Then you will regret how fast they grew up. They just need to assert their independence and this naturally motivates them to see how far they can push boundaries.

How else can they figure out where the boundaries are?

Be firm and consistent, but patient. Take turns if you have a spouse that will do that (if you don't, you've got real trouble).

When mine would get out of control, we would just redirect her attention to something else, or if mom had had too much that day, I'd drag her outside and wear her out running her around.
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Old 10-27-2011, 08:59 AM
 
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wowsers! he is just a big ol ball of nonstop fire. when i say no, he returns with a no pointing his finger at me. yesterday at story time(i took him the day b4 so he would at least know whats up) ALL the kids were running around crazy cos there were dogs there...i cant imagine being the story teller, either she has patience or takes a lot of valium. lol. so when it was time to go he was all buh bye to everyone, then i had to go inside the library to pick up books...off he goes to his section. fine, i ask what he wants to get really soft and polite, screams at the top of his lungs, i get down and say no to him and he smacks me in the face. of course EVERYONE WAS LOOKING!!! so i got up picked him up and went outside put him in his car seat and said time out. didnt get in the car, left his door open but went towards the trunk of the car. 3 minutes of crying and i say you can not hit people. so he says no hit. i say ok. we go back in, starts crying so i pick him up and go to check out cos i just wanted to run. the lady was like oh, i have a 2 year old about to be 3 just like that at home. so i ask what do we do? her response-cry, then pray, then cry some more...she was kidding, i think. so then out of nowhere pakatow!!! he hits me again...she hands me the books cos she knew i was going to jet...
i did the same thing. said time out 4 minutes now for hitting again. no ma, no! so i did the trunk thing, called my best friend blah blah. by the time it was more like 5 minutes cos i lost track, boy was sleeping.
ok, so he was cranky, whatever. that does not give him the right to hit. so last night i tell his dad, and he's like no charley you dont hit, charley responds no hit.
then for bed charley goes to his dad to say good nite...he goes to run while my husband was mid hug, and says charley com...pakatow...to his dad. i say charley, time out!
my beautiful wonderful husband says no, its ok he cant hit girls...im like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh arent they supposed to be on your side...who is worse? am i raising two of em? wait and my daughter, but this is not a tween forum but if it was it would be fun city...yesterday well thank goodness its over!

any advice? especially on the hitting. oh, and any advice on the potty training thing..he is sometimes great! just when i start thinking of cutesy little underwear, he regresses...just like right now, ugh, i gotta go...thanks
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Old 10-28-2011, 11:24 AM
 
8,012 posts, read 4,073,283 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv80s View Post
I hope I'm not alone on this but do your kids, especially toddlers, drive you crazy? My son sure does, lol.

I have a boy who is almost 2 1/2 years old. He's is so sweet, cute, funny and smart. But my goodness he can be such a little pain in the booty sometimes. It seems like everything is such a struggle with him. He's constantly whiny and won't listen to me.
OH MY GOD I remember this. I remember looking at my child and thinking I don't like you much. When I thought that, I thought damn I had better do something. Not liking my own child is not a great option.

Whining and not listening are fights you want to pick. More on that later.

Quote:
If I'm getting him dressed he puts up a fight or starts kicking me. It can take 15 minutes just to get him in some clothes. If I'm making dinner he comes in the kitchen and starts pressing the buttons on the dishwasher or opening drawers and taking things out. He does this stuff even when I'm not in the kitchen. I can't put childproof locks on the cabinets because we rent.
Two things here. Have one low drawer that he is allowed to empty and play in. Make it tupper ware. When he is done, HE puts it back. Or the child lock goes on.

Also I *think* we found non damaging child proof locks. Sticky tabs that came off maybe? Otherwise cords around the handles with caribeaners will be too hard for him to get off. This is not a fight you want to pick.


[qoute]
We do keep the dangerous stuff out of reach. He screams alot if he wants something and when he is frustrated or angry he'll come over and smack me or my husband or baby. I get down on his level and use a firm voice and tell him not to hit but it seems like nothing works.
[/quote]
You need a safe place to contain him. You do not have the right to hit. Remove him to an away safe place. His bedroom... whatever. WHEN he can be around people and act appropriately, THEN he can come out.

You do not have the right to make us miserable with your screaming. WHEN you can speak in a normal voice, THEN you can come out. NEVER EVER give in to whining or screaming to make it stop. Or you are going to be hearing a lot more of it.

Quote:
I know at this age they are still learning to communicate but he hits alot.

I think he is just hyper but my husband says its just normal two year old behavior. I swear he has ADD but I'm no doctor and I know he is too young to diagnose. I am a stay at home mom and lately there are some days I can't wait for him to be in school already.
It is normal two year old behavior. It is normal two year old behavior that is your job to teach him is not ok. Some people think of 2 as baby. 2 is exactly the time to start effective, positive discipline. I jokingly call it carrot and stick.

Carrot:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss...ix=how+to+talk

The language of cooperation, problem solving. How to do it right.

Stick:

Amazon.com: Setting Limits: How to Raise Responsible, Independent Children by Providing Clear Boundaries (Revised and Expanded Second Edition) (0086874512122): Robert J. Mackenzie: Books

Clear boundaries, expecting responsibility (age appropriate) and allowing and delivering natural or logical consequences that indicate that Mom means what she says and says what she means.

And the over all why we bother

Amazon.com: Discipline for Life : Getting it Right with Children (9781887069069): Madelyn Swift: Books

Only read this one if you are not going to feel defensive by her occasionally judgmental tone.

Quote:
Moms and Dads, what do I do? What are some good and effective techniques to disipline my son. How did you survive the terrible twos? Will it get better (please tell me it does!) or is this just a boy thing.
Three whole books, can't post that here. But in my opinion, it only gets better if YOU make it better by making effective disciplinary decisions.

Quote:
I love my little boy dearly but I need some advice. I feel like a bad parent sometimes, that I'm doing something wrong.

Thanks!

Nope! He is being a perfectly normal 2yo, and you are being a thoughtful parent seeking advice. Good luck!
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Old 10-28-2011, 02:45 PM
Status: "God was not in Stalingrad." (set 1 day ago)
 
13,680 posts, read 17,603,925 times
Reputation: 11870
My wife and I are contemplating selling our 3 year old, lol. Her two's were wonderful, but her three's have been hell on wheels so far. Even worse is that she is conspiring with her 2 year old sister on a regular basis. We used to think DS was a handful, but at 7 we now view him as the calm and logical one among the kids.

All joking aside, this is the time that will try your patience, but it is also the time that you will refine your parenting style. The key throughout it all is consistency, consistency, consistency. The better you are with that, the less you lose your cool and the more engaged you keep them, the better off you will be. We have also found that the smarter they are, the worse you will have it. Not to be a braggart as I consider my other kids to be average, our 3 year old is a fricking genius, much to our detriment.

Sometimes you really do need to let go and not get upset over things they say and do. The other day my 3 year old daughter decided the house was chilly. So, she got toy to stand on and messed with the thermostat. Mom caught her and told her not to do it. She said she was cold, mom said get a blanket. She protested and mom reminded her that it was her house and she paid the bills. Daughter replied, "no you don't, daddy does, he's the one who works". Mom reached critical mass before diverting herself to zen out in front of the fish tank, lol.

Just today, mom was making cupcakes for a Halloween party. The girls helped her the entire time and were really into it. When they were being frosted, they started begging to have one. Mom said no, that they were for the party. So, the 3 year old grabs a spoon and dives for the frosting bowel grabbing a glob. This distracts mom while the 2 year old goes in and grabs a cupcake. They then scurry off together to share their loot.

Sometimes you just have to laugh. Especially when you're dad at work...
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Old 10-28-2011, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan and Sometimes Orange County CA
15,819 posts, read 32,535,123 times
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The 2s are nothing. It is the 3s that are terrible.
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