U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-08-2007, 11:48 AM
 
267 posts, read 1,681,993 times
Reputation: 199

Advertisements

I hope I'm not alone on this but do your kids, especially toddlers, drive you crazy? My son sure does, lol.

I have a boy who is almost 2 1/2 years old. He's is so sweet, cute, funny and smart. But my goodness he can be such a little pain in the booty sometimes. It seems like everything is such a struggle with him. He's constantly whiny and won't listen to me. If I'm getting him dressed he puts up a fight or starts kicking me. It can take 15 minutes just to get him in some clothes. If I'm making dinner he comes in the kitchen and starts pressing the buttons on the dishwasher or opening drawers and taking things out. He does this stuff even when I'm not in the kitchen. I can't put childproof locks on the cabinets because we rent. We do keep the dangerous stuff out of reach. He screams alot if he wants something and when he is frustrated or angry he'll come over and smack me or my husband or baby. I get down on his level and use a firm voice and tell him not to hit but it seems like nothing works. I know at this age they are still learning to communicate but he hits alot.

I think he is just hyper but my husband says its just normal two year old behavior. I swear he has ADD but I'm no doctor and I know he is too young to diagnose. I am a stay at home mom and lately there are some days I can't wait for him to be in school already.

Moms and Dads, what do I do? What are some good and effective techniques to disipline my son. How did you survive the terrible twos? Will it get better (please tell me it does!) or is this just a boy thing.

I love my little boy dearly but I need some advice. I feel like a bad parent sometimes, that I'm doing something wrong.

Thanks!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-08-2007, 12:05 PM
 
261 posts, read 857,831 times
Reputation: 114
We didn't have it bad at two, but three, UGHHHHH!!!! It doesn't get much better, until they move out of the house! Sorry My son is 5 and we fight all the time. He is fresh all the time to me and husband. He spends alot of time in the corner for his fresh mouth! When he was little and did the hitting thing, we would put him in our laps, cross his arms and make him sit there until he calmed down. Then once he was calm enough, we would talk to him and explain that the behavior was not tolerated. Then we would make him apologize for his actions. We would always hug and kiss him and tell him thankyou for apologizing but we never said " Oh honey, that's okay". That's telling him the behavior is okay, and all he's going to get is a time out. We tell him that we don't like the way he behaved. He's learned, but since he talks more now, we're looking for some duct tape that won't hurt and we can still feed him....any ideas???? Just kidding!!!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2007, 12:14 PM
 
267 posts, read 1,681,993 times
Reputation: 199
LOL, too funny about the duct tape. Sometimes I wish I had it with me when I take him to the store. Out of nowhere he'll let out a loud shriek and of course everyone turns around looks at us. Sometimes people laugh and then there of course the dirty looks.

I've heard the same thing about 3 year olds too. Sigh. I'll hope and pray that I can survive parenthood. I guess I'm getting payback for being a little brat when I was a kid to my parents, lol.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2007, 12:18 PM
 
3,698 posts, read 9,982,342 times
Reputation: 2593
1-2-3 Magic: Parenting Solutions using Positive Discipline from Dr. Thomas Phelan

We've had luck with this with our 2 1/2 year old. (It may not work for everyone.) The basic idea is to count them for unacceptable or obnoxious behavior. When you get to three, they get a time out. After the time out is over, just put the incident behind you and move on. Don't force them to apologize. (The time out isn't a punishment. It's a way to try to "reboot" them, more or less.)

Hitting in our house is an immediate, no-counting time out.

It took a week or two for our daughter to get it, but now we rarely get past 2 before she decides that she doesn't want a time out.

You have to be willing to do the time out everywhere and anywhere. I've taken her kicking and screaming out of the grocery store to sit in the car for a couple of minutes - but that was a few months ago and she doesn't test us in the store any more.

It also helps to give them something else to do. They are getting attention and a reaction from you when they are pushing your buttons. Instead of yelling, "No!", you can divert their attention. We keep some favorite toys out of their reach that we pull out for these circumstances. So when she's underfoot in the kitchen and driving us crazy, we don't have to get mad at her. We just say, "Hey, do you want to play with play-do?" or something like that. And she loves to be given little tasks while we're cooking, even if it is just a "busy" task. Some of the things that I have her do to "help" are to divide some sliced vegetables into to piles, or to sit at the table and make a menu for dinner or placemats with her crayons, or to put the silverware from the dishwasher away.

We also use a timer to limit activities. There's something about the timer that takes the decision out of mom and dad's hands for them. "Sorry, sweetie, but the timer went off. We're done reading and it's time to go to bed".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2007, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Chicago's burbs
1,013 posts, read 4,061,585 times
Reputation: 905
I don't have any advice, but I sure can relate! I swear, my son has entered the terrible two's early! He is 1 1/2 and he is crazy! Don't get me wrong, he is an adorable little boy and I love him to pieces, but he is such a handful! I welcome his afternoon nap so I can actually get some things done around the house! He has what seems like a million toys to play with, but he would rather find other things to entertain himself. He climbs on the furniture, walks around on the coffee table, pulls the lamps off the end tables, goes in the pantry and tries to empty it out, goes in the bathroom and plays in the toilet, goes through the garbage, pulls the cats tails. I spend my day chasing him around and preventing him from doing all these things. Anything he is not supposed to play with, that is what he wants. He won't let me feed him anymore, he is just too independent for that. He would rather feed himself, and in the process, mush his food between his fingers and throw it on the floor, dump his plate over and throw it on the ground. He doesn't want to eat vegetables, but thinks cat food tastes pretty good! If I tell him no about anything, he screams, or laughs at me. It seems like other little kids his age are shy and stay by their Mommy's, if I take him out in public I have to hold on to him or he will run away from me and go up to strangers looking for attention. I know he is only a year and a half and is just learning about the world around him, but boy does he keep me busy!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2007, 12:27 PM
 
6,764 posts, read 19,279,691 times
Reputation: 4664
Your children are all normal developing toddlers & preschoolers.
Be glad, even if it's hard to fight the terrible 2s and 3s..They just want to be independent!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2007, 12:29 PM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 6,448,954 times
Reputation: 3061
My 2.5 son is an absolute terror. He has learned to climb onto the kitchen counters, entertainment center. He climbs into the sink to "wash" his feet or fill his cup. He turns on the diswasher, opens the stove to use the door for a ladder, you name it he does it. He has also lovingly learned how to work the vcr, dvd player and radios. So forget watching anything remotely grown up during the day. He can pry the childproof locks off the video tape and book cabinet. Can carry chairs to wherever it is he can't reach. He has also learned how to talk back and say no and generally give his opinion on all matters which is the exact opposite of what you want him to do.

Oh and here is the biggie he can open the front door and let himself out of the house. We are buying a chain for the front door this weekend.

Needless to say I am ready for him to turn 3 or 4 because I am totally exhausted at the end of the day.

Now that I have totally scared you it does get better. My 10 and 11 yr old were this way and it wears off pretty quick. I have found that if you take them outside as much as you can it will wear them out and they can't be quite the terror they normally are. It is a stage and they do outgrow it. Good luck. It does get better I promise.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2007, 12:36 PM
 
261 posts, read 857,831 times
Reputation: 114
Quote:
Originally Posted by sean98125 View Post
1-2-3 Magic: Parenting Solutions using Positive Discipline from Dr. Thomas Phelan

We've had luck with this with our 2 1/2 year old. (It may not work for everyone.) The basic idea is to count them for unacceptable or obnoxious behavior. When you get to three, they get a time out. After the time out is over, just put the incident behind you and move on. Don't force them to apologize. (The time out isn't a punishment. It's a way to try to "reboot" them, more or less.)

Hitting in our house is an immediate, no-counting time out.

It took a week or two for our daughter to get it, but now we rarely get past 2 before she decides that she doesn't want a time out.

You have to be willing to do the time out everywhere and anywhere. I've taken her kicking and screaming out of the grocery store to sit in the car for a couple of minutes - but that was a few months ago and she doesn't test us in the store any more.

It also helps to give them something else to do. They are getting attention and a reaction from you when they are pushing your buttons. Instead of yelling, "No!", you can divert their attention. We keep some favorite toys out of their reach that we pull out for these circumstances. So when she's underfoot in the kitchen and driving us crazy, we don't have to get mad at her. We just say, "Hey, do you want to play with play-do?" or something like that. And she loves to be given little tasks while we're cooking, even if it is just a "busy" task. Some of the things that I have her do to "help" are to divide some sliced vegetables into to piles, or to sit at the table and make a menu for dinner or placemats with her crayons, or to put the silverware from the dishwasher away.

We also use a timer to limit activities. There's something about the timer that takes the decision out of mom and dad's hands for them. "Sorry, sweetie, but the timer went off. We're done reading and it's time to go to bed".
We're making him apologize for hitting. It's not okay to hit, regardless of the age. We aren't making him apologize for the behavior. That's his attention getting devise. We know this. He's getting better, sorta....We do give him to the count of 3, but as he gets older, I don't count the 1, I just give him 2..3... and that's all I need to do (most of the time).

We'll see how much more he resembles his father for his behavior. Erma Bombeck's curse!!! My mother told me....as did mother in law!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2007, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Orlando
8,181 posts, read 16,153,579 times
Reputation: 49730
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv80s View Post
LOL, too funny about the duct tape. Sometimes I wish I had it with me when I take him to the store. Out of nowhere he'll let out a loud shriek and of course everyone turns around looks at us. Sometimes people laugh and then there of course the dirty looks.

I've heard the same thing about 3 year olds too. Sigh. I'll hope and pray that I can survive parenthood. I guess I'm getting payback for being a little brat when I was a kid to my parents, lol.
When mine was two I DID call my parents and apologized for everything I did as a child....my mother laughed. No sympathy from her because she had two children (age 2 and age 3) at the same time.

Ummm when he's a teen, don't try to get sypathy either....parents think this is quite humorous too.

Hang in there and be consistant!!! You'll do fine!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2007, 02:10 PM
 
267 posts, read 1,681,993 times
Reputation: 199
Thank you everyone! Sounds like my son does alot of the same stuff that your children do. Actually, reading your stories made me laugh and made me realize I'm not losing my mind, hehe.

I know it will get better but somedays I really feel like pulling my hair out. The thing that gets me is when my husband says he "understands" what I'm going through. I tell him he's not at home all day with a two year old and newborn and doesn't know how hard it can be sometimes. Then he'll say, "I know how hard it is to watch them when you go and do your errands. Its alot of work." or something to that effect. Its one thing to watch them for a few hours/the day and then another to take care of them all day everyday. But each day he does tell me he loves me and appreciates all that I do and doesn't know how I do it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top