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[/b]This right here says it all. Parenting is a job, folks. Anyone who makes excuses to not do it is falling down on the job at the responsibilities that they owe to the most important people in their lives, their children.
Children don't just automatically grow up into civilized human beings. Your job is to help them do that so that they will thrive and do well in the world that isn't going to think that they're the center of the universe when they grow up and go out into it. Teaching them those skills while they're young and eager to learn (even if they don't always cooperate) is the best and kindest time, for them, to do it.
Sure, but it's age appropriate. I was horrified at the mess my kid would make when she was 12-15 months ish.
But they don't have the motor skills at that age, and they're just exploring stuff the way toddlers do.
I found trying to clean stuff up off the floor often grossed out the other diners more than anything, it's not pleasant to have an adult at the next table on the floor picking up icky bits of food. Kinda draws attention to it. So a nice word to the person with the carpet sweeper and some extra cash for the inconvenience usually did the trick.
Last edited by FinsterRufus; 07-24-2013 at 10:25 PM..
My children were never allowed to do that and as adults my husband and I are probably some of the cleanest customers in the place. We always stack our dishes and make sure napkins are easily accessible to be thrown away. If something falls on the floor we pick it up and we tip very well.
My children were never allowed to do that and as adults my husband and I are probably some of the cleanest customers in the place. We always stack our dishes and make sure napkins are easily accessible to be thrown away. If something falls on the floor we pick it up and we tip very well.
How do you pick up pudding? Or egg yolk? Or spaghetti sauce?
It more hygienic to let the restaurant do their job and use the proper tools. Even adults spill stuff sometimes.
As long as you acknowledge the extra effort and appreciate it. It's part of running a food establishment.
Why don't you just let the toddlers experiment with food at home...?
Habe you ever had a toddler? They need to eat too if you're out, on a trip, or what have you. And they don't have the skills to handle a knife and fork.
Habe you ever had a toddler? They need to eat too if you're out, on a trip, or what have you. And they don't have the skills to handle a knife and fork.
No, but I do work in food service. A restaurant is for eating, not a "food playground" for a toddler.
Walking by a pizza joint I looked in the window and saw this low life family eating. There were toppings that they did not like- The kids and the mother were picking them off and simply tossing them on the floor. I have seen this attitude in parks also. There will be a bench- three feet from the bench is a garbage container. People will eat while sitting on the bench and just drop their garbage directly at there feet instead of getting up and taking a few steps....I thought why? I came to the conclusion that it was a mixture of spite and anger- Some people walk around all day with habitual hate and indifference- If they cared about other people they would not make the world worse.
I don't "let" my 2 1/2 year old misbehave and make a mess. She chooses to. I can ask her not to, but if she chooses to, I can't stop her. Physically restraining her isn't a viable option for child development, and we don't do that unless her physical safety is in danger. We need her to learn to listen to us, and are working on that. But physically restraining her or taking stuff out of her hands isn't the right way to teach it.
We teach her the right things and the right ways even when scolding eyes are nearby. We don't adjust our parenting style to please those around us.
I want to be clear that we don't allow her to play with her food. We take that away. But she is far more messy than I'd like. I don't think this is any fault of our parenting, it's just the nature of our kid. She will grow up and be neat and tidy someday but not today.
I disagree with the bolded. Yes you can stop her. You can take it away from her like you say you do in the 2nd paragraph down. That is stopping her. a 2.5 year old should have her hands held if she is tossing things and making a mess. To say "she chooses to" and that you can't stop her is very strange to me.
No way in hell am I going to pick up typical kids mess from the floor. Isn't that why you go out to eat in the first place? to not have to cook and clean? Do you know how filthy restaurant floor is? My 4 kids and 3 step kids were (are) typical kids but they learned early on how to behave properly in restaurants.
They might accidentally drop something - don't all kids?- but they never threw anything on the floor. We would not tolerate that for a minute. I would wipe the highchair tray with a napkin and place the dirty napkin on a plate and sometimes wipe the table or bench if they had been particularly messy as very little kids but I never picked up anything off the floor. I was always taught that if you drop silverware on the floor it is best to simply inform the wait staff you are sorry but you dropped a knife and would s/he please bring a replacement. Never good to draw attention to yourself by picking up dropped silverware.
Sure, but it's age appropriate. I was horrified at the mess my kid would make when she was 12-15 months ish.
But they don't have the motor skills at that age, and they're just exploring stuff the way toddlers do.
I found trying to clean stuff up off the floor often grossed out the other diners more than anything, it's not pleasant to have an adult at the next table on the floor picking up icky bits of food. Kinda draws attention to it. So a nice word to the person with the carpet sweeper and some extra cash for the inconvenience usually did the trick.
We had one of those mat things that we placed under the seat. At the end of the meal, we pulled it up carefully, containing the mess. I got more than one thank you from waitstaff for that!
So you have a problem with a happy 15-month old who is eating crackers and enjoying himself. And you think all the Moms and Dads should be down on their hands and knees blotting up every trace of Junior's dining experience with their napkins.
Got it.
You don't "blot up" rice and crackers. You SWEEP them up. And yes, I expect you to pick up after your toddler if your toddler makes a mess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by twoincomes
I don't "let" my 2 1/2 year old misbehave and make a mess. She chooses to. I can ask her not to, but if she chooses to, I can't stop her. Physically restraining her isn't a viable option for child development, and we don't do that unless her physical safety is in danger. We need her to learn to listen to us, and are working on that. But physically restraining her or taking stuff out of her hands isn't the right way to teach it.
I'm sorry, but you don't even have to be a parent to know that that is not true. I have a 6 year-old nephew and when he was a toddler out in restaurants making a mess, we'd take away his mess-making apparatus. Sometimes he'd cry, at which point one of us would hoist him up and take him outside to calm down so he wouldn't disturb other people. Eventually my brother learned not to give the kid crackers and other crap to make a mess with out in public. At 6, his dining habits are excellent. You'd never know there was a kid sitting there when we leave. He even picks up crayons if he drops them on the floor.
If you have a toddler smashing crackers at the table making a mess, you CAN stop her. Take the crackers away. She might cry, at which point you'll have to deal with that too. Your fault for giving her crackers.
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