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My take on this is that the fathers do it to see if their daughter's potential boyfriend can take a joke and has a sense of humor or if he walks around with a stick up his behind Clearly there are plenty of folks here in the latter category. Lighten up, laugh a little, you'll live longer... I got the "tough guy" treatment a few times and both me and the dad laughed it off afterwards. If I do the same thing to one of my daughters' potential boyfriends and they're all serious about it, she'll likely have a enough sense to stop hanging around with such a sad sack.
Have yourself a precious little girl, then see someone hurt her....then you'll understand.
Meh. I have two nieces who I am extremely close to. So much so, we jokingly call them my pseudo-daughters. Still don't get the whole threatening someone 20 years younger than me with death, violence and mutilation thing...
Women are better at some things, men better at others. that is why we pair up, to make a complete team.
No matter how capable you think you are, you will never know as much abot what it is like to be a teen boy as I do. Sorry, you lack the capability to to that becuase you can never have the expereience of being a teen boy. thus, I am always in a better position to understand and evaluate a teen boy than you will ever be. You can better evaluate the needs, interests and position of a teen girl (assuming she is your daughter), thus you are in a better position to know whether a given boy meets what the girl probably wants, but in a much weaker position to understand what the boy want, or is like, or whether he is being truthful. Thus if my daughter wants to talk about how the boy made her feel, she is better off discussing it with mom. If she wants to know how to resolve a problem with the boy, she is better off discussing it with me.
And yes. It is a man's job to protect women. That is what we are for. We are made to be better at that than women are at protecting themselves. That is why men are generally stronger, more aggressive, and have better understanding of spatial relations and mechanics/physics. Sure a woman can become strong, can make herself more agressive, can develop understanding of spacial relations and mechanics, but it is not her nature. t is not the way she was made to be. So she must develop what comes more naturally to men.
Why are you making the assumption that generallyl boys will be like you, like the same things you like, and want the same things you want? Or that girls are all like your wife or some pie in the sky idea you have of what women should be like? Boys are tough and girls are sensitive and all those other stereotypes?
I have shocking news for you, that's not always the way it works out. In my family I'm that one that scores off the charts in spatial relations tests, I'm the one who builds and puts things together, DH enjoys doing the cooking and cleaning, has the soft spot for the pets. So something of a role reversal, together we made a good team, just not in the way YOU imagine or think is appropriate.
I would also never make the assumption that I understand my daughter better than my son just because she's a girl, frankly my son is more open and traditional, easier to understand, while my daughter sometimes baffles the daylights out of me.
Our kids didn't fall out along the stereotypical gender roles either. Son is the social butterfly, concerned with his appearance, his social standing, the one who will give you the shirt off his back (and then go buy the latest fashion because he is the clothes maven in the family) He's the one looking forward to getting married and having a family. Daughter is the rebel, the one who wants to change the world, no marriage or family for her because she doesn't believe in those things. I'm pretty sure if she brought a boy home to find daddy cleaning a gun and acting all macho she'd take that gun and throw it where daddy would spend the next ten years looking for it, lol.
My husband didn't have to do a thing - when the boy came to pick up our daughter, I took his picture and asked if I could see his drivers license (he thought I wanted to make sure he had one) and photocopied it and gave it back to him. I also gave my daughter a "date" fork. My husband would ask him if he liked to hunt or fish and say, "If I get to know you better, maybe we can go hunting together! I can lend you a gun if you'd like." This was just to let the boy know that there were guns somewhere. We didn't have to threaten them.
Meh. I have two nieces who I am extremely close to. So much so, we jokingly call them my pseudo-daughters. Still don't get the whole threatening someone 20 years younger than me with death, violence and mutilation thing...
Well Mags, I've got a daughter and I'll tell ya, I've certainly had some graphic "thoughts" about what I could be capable of, I've just got a whole lot more self-restraint and self-respect than to simply blurt out certain thoughts. I'm a firm believer in keeping things simple, such as, "You WILL keep my daughter safe and treat her right, because.....never mind...**nod** You will."
My take on this is that the fathers do it to see if their daughter's potential boyfriend can take a joke and has a sense of humor or if he walks around with a stick up his behind Clearly there are plenty of folks here in the latter category. Lighten up, laugh a little, you'll live longer... I got the "tough guy" treatment a few times and both me and the dad laughed it off afterwards. If I do the same thing to one of my daughters' potential boyfriends and they're all serious about it, she'll likely have a enough sense to stop hanging around with such a sad sack.
I think most of us object to the assumptions about women with regards to the tough guy approach rather than the feelings of the girls date. But I'm glad you could laugh it off. I know my brother broke up with his "first love" because her dad treated him like a rapist day in day out. Irony was he was a bit of a late bloomer and wasn't ready to pursue much of a physical relationship anyway. But the girl was so heartbroken and mad at dad she rebounded into the arms of a boy who was less intimidated by dad and who got her pregnant within 3 months. Big drama in my little town.
Too funny Praline,,, I was a single mom raising 3 boys in a tough neighborhood. I am very independent and haven't felt intimidated by a man, but I also know my limitations. I am not a male and never want to be one. I too can shoot and pulled my boys up and they are now living constructive lives. What I insisted on was RESPECT... I got it, and anyone stopped by my door knew and my sons learned to do likewise,,, and that sums it up. But some times you gotta mean what you say.
Anyway..... teen boys are just going to think daddy is 4 shades of nuts is all. Plus most teens are intelligent to understand that the father can not touch them physically without risking jail for himself.
\ I've heard some parents, fathers especially, for some reason, why say they would kill someone if they raped their daughter..
OP,
Moderator Cut. If anybody raped my son or daughter, I would kill them. Show me 1 parent who is OK with his/her son being raped, but would kill for a daughter.
Moderator Cut.
Last edited by Jaded; 08-09-2013 at 10:47 PM..
Reason: Personal attack, rude remarks
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Clearly there are plenty of folks here in the latter category. Lighten up, laugh a little, you'll live longer... I got the "tough guy" treatment a few times and both me and the dad laughed it off afterwards. If I do the same thing to one of my daughters' potential boyfriends and they're all serious about it, she'll likely have a enough sense to stop hanging around with such a sad sack.
I'm a firm believer in keeping things simple, such as, "You WILL keep my daughter safe and treat her right, because.....never mind...**nod** You will." 
