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Single mom of a daughter. I would do anything to protect my child. When she was a teenager I would ask boys for their license plate numbers on their cars and they always were happy to provide it. I know, sounds nuts, but if she were to disappear or there was a car accident I would have more information.
If someone were to physically harm my child I would do anything I could to get them put away. I have likely said in the past that I would kill someone that hurts my daughter, but I think it is typically just a figure of speech.
I guess what disturbs me most is the attitude that any time a female is sexually active it is because some male coerced her into the sexual activity. That attitude assumes that the vast vast majority of males are rapists. It also assumes that there is something wrong with a female having sex just because she wants to have sex.
My sons do not need the threat of a crazy father hanging over their heads. If they have sex I assure you that it will be CONSENSUAL. That means the girl will agree to the sex. Having sex is no reason to shoot a man. Especially if the woman agrees to the sex. I would counsel them to run, not walk, away from a threatening father.
This. If no teenage girl ever wanted to have sex, our species would be extinct.
Actually it went more like "Can you swim Wannadateher?
"Yes Sir I can""
"Can you swim across the river in front of our house?"
Wanndateher (puzzled): "Yes sir I am a very good swimmer, I think I could do that"
"With a refrigerator chained to your back?"
Wannadateher: "Uhh I get the message, we will be home by ten and she will be safe with me, I promise."
Over the top?
It seemed to work.
(From another thread)
Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love. If a boy perceives a girl is loved and supported by her parents, and that they are paying attention to where she is and what she is doing, that is more than enough.
It is completely unnecessary to threaten him with words, guns, or other aggressive attitudes. If he is a thug with bad intentions, he isn't really going to care anyway. Girls with parents that are never around, who have no curfew and who have a bad relationship with her parents are much more likely to become targets of these type of boys.
The fact is, when a boy shows up at your house to pickup your daughter, it means she wants to go out with him as much as he wants to go out with her. If you are a crazy and aggressive parent, she will have warned him to "ignore my crazy dad" beforehand. And he will ignore you, like she told him to. However, if he perceives that the girl and dad have a great relationship, that he loves her and she respects him...he will know there will be consequences if he messes up with her. He doesn't need to be threatened.
Crazy, over-protective parents who like to threaten kids are the laughing stock of teenagers, you have to be kidding yourself if you think any boy will be terrified enough to stay away from her. He will just find a way to avoid you, to get to her behind your back, and even better, he will find a way to do it with her help! Its a lot better for him to perceive you as a father who loves his daughter, and has an open and constant line of communication with her.
Especially when it comes to sex. While rape is of course bad, I've heard some parents, fathers especially, for some reason, why say they would kill someone if they raped their daughter. I sort of understand the rage etc they would feel, but how is it right or justifiable to murder someone for rape? Or not even rape, but consensual sex. Or phrases like 'i'll break your leg if you break her heart' (even if metaphorical) that are supposed to sound all family-orientated and noble. To me it just makes them sound like violent jerks.
It seems most people would applaud or encourage such thinking and behaviour, which makes me cynical about human nature in general.
Not even rape, but...? When it comes to sex or rape? This or that. Sounds a little screwy to me. Rape is not about having sex. I don't know why the two are sitting on the same table for a parent's reaction.
My daughter is 3 months old and I cannot picture her any other way. I don't dream of what she will be, when she will date, etc, so the idea of her having sex is not in my head space. I'm just in baby mode right now. When I read stories like this about a baby who was raped (died) it makes me dizzy. Something like that would certainly push me over the edge.
I think dads should protect their daughters but this cave man mentality and cleaning guns in front of some poor young kid? seriously? That's just weird to me. I don't know what message that sends other than "Dad is crazy"
I was raised in the old south. When I went to school, every boy had a pocket knife. Every hunting season, every truck had at least one shotgun and one rifle in it...in the school parking lot.
Young men were just that, MEN. A man was a man by 17 (and off to Vietnam). Those "poor kids" had their own guns and it would have been thought strange or suspect if they didn't.
We lived very strict, southern Baptist lives. Fathers were extremely serious about their families.
Women stayed in the kitchen, men ate first, men would go without to be able to buy his wife that new fabric she'd wanted but was oh, so expensive. Fathers held family Bible studies every night after the girls finished the supper dishes and the boys made ready for morning chores.
This rearing has followed me my whole life and I'm grateful for the way we were raised. Our dates respected us and went way out of their way to be more dependable, more trustworthy, more...whatever the other guy we were dating, lacked. Young ladies were treated as such.
I can count my love interests on one finger, which still has the same ring in the same place as it will be forever.
Crazy? Caveman? No. Man, woman, child. Everything has it's proper order. Respecting that order brings harmony.
If rape was a death penalty crime would it be less disturbing?
If someone raped my daughter (if I had one ) I would wish the death penalty on him or I would not mind if he died a horrible death. Sorry if that is so disturbing to some people.
Not even rape, but...? When it comes to sex or rape? This or that. Sounds a little screwy to me. Rape is not about having sex. I don't know why the two are sitting on the same table for a parent's reaction.
My daughter is 3 months old and I cannot picture her any other way. I don't dream of what she will be, when she will date, etc, so the idea of her having sex is not in my head space. I'm just in baby mode right now. When I read stories like this about a baby who was raped (died) it makes me dizzy. Something like that would certainly push me over the edge.
When a very young girl "comes on" to any guy, he has to recognize her immaturity and understand how wrong it would be to take advantage of her. Be a man and walk away.
Parents can never be too protective, imo.
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