U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 08-05-2013, 05:38 AM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
9,783 posts, read 15,339,870 times
Reputation: 2833

Advertisements

Especially when it comes to sex. While rape is of course bad, I've heard some parents, fathers especially, for some reason, why say they would kill someone if they raped their daughter. I sort of understand the rage etc they would feel, but how is it right or justifiable to murder someone for rape? Or not even rape, but consensual sex. Or phrases like 'i'll break your leg if you break her heart' (even if metaphorical) that are supposed to sound all family-orientated and noble. To me it just makes them sound like violent jerks.

It seems most people would applaud or encourage such thinking and behaviour, which makes me cynical about human nature in general.

 
Old 08-05-2013, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,225,827 times
Reputation: 10153
I find it disturbing too, well the double standard between how parents treat daughters compared to sons. I find it especially disturbing that parents would press statutory rape charges when the sex was consensual, that is just not right in my opinion.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 06:19 AM
 
Location: Madison, WI
1,455 posts, read 1,261,556 times
Reputation: 573
It is very disturbing.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 06:35 AM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
9,783 posts, read 15,339,870 times
Reputation: 2833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
I find it disturbing too, well the double standard between how parents treat daughters compared to sons. I find it especially disturbing that parents would press statutory rape charges when the sex was consensual, that is just not right in my opinion.
Oh yeah definitely. Maybe I should be thankfully I was not sexually active as a teenager, just the hassle of dealing with parents. No thanks.

Also that the idea that it's always someone preying on your innocent, precious little angel...perhaps they don't want to admit that she has hormones too and can be the aggressor too.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,225,827 times
Reputation: 10153
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
Oh yeah definitely. Maybe I should be thankfully I was not sexually active as a teenager, just the hassle of dealing with parents. No thanks.

Also that the idea that it's always someone preying on your innocent, precious little angel...perhaps they don't want to admit that she has hormones too and can be the aggressor too.
I think that is precisely what they don't want to admit. If parents actually knew the way their daughters talked about sex from age 12 onwards (at least thats the way it was when I was a teenager) they wouldn't be thinking that anymore.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Northern California
970 posts, read 1,744,721 times
Reputation: 1390
I'm pretty sure most of the people claiming they would murder someone over rape will not actually carry out that threat since the crime statistics for rape are much higher than the murder rate.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,416,857 times
Reputation: 24873
Have a child and see how protective you are. Parents are aware of how harsh the world is. Yes make your child smart and stand up for themselves. It has been like this from the dawn of time. Mommy's protect their little boys and daddy's protect their little girls. For the most part parents just want their children safe.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 08:45 AM
 
2,350 posts, read 4,261,200 times
Reputation: 2946
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
Especially when it comes to sex. While rape is of course bad, I've heard some parents, fathers especially, for some reason, why say they would kill someone if they raped their daughter. I sort of understand the rage etc they would feel, but how is it right or justifiable to murder someone for rape? Or not even rape, but consensual sex. Or phrases like 'i'll break your leg if you break her heart' (even if metaphorical) that are supposed to sound all family-orientated and noble. To me it just makes them sound like violent jerks.

It seems most people would applaud or encourage such thinking and behaviour, which makes me cynical about human nature in general.
Perhaps you are misinterpreting their metaphors. I don't think I've sensed anything exceptionally violent or sadistic from parents of daughters. The subject doesn't come up too often though.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Oviedo
452 posts, read 542,107 times
Reputation: 917
My father would never, ever allow us to date anyone until he'd met them first. If one came and honked his horn (that happened once), my father went out and asked him to leave. He insisted we be treated like the ladies he'd raised us to be.

My father had a very effective way of laying down the law without speaking a word. He'd invite the young man in, (we were't allowed to sit in on these "conversations" as it was "man talk") and sit there cleaning his service revolver while the suiter "declared his intentions" with my father's daughter, lol

I had the best, non troublesome dating experiences of my life (and for some reason, my dates always had me home earlier than my he and my father had agreed upon, lol)

Bad things happen to girls nowadays, and I can see how a man would absolutely reinforce the idea that he will go to any length to protect what he loves and honors.

Like Plmokn said, they're metaphors and It's absolutely wired into men to defend those he loves, respects and to defend a woman, any woman.

It's like the way a woman will automatically take charge of an infant in need. She goes into the nurture and healing mode. Men, go into the protective, defensive mode.

It's the way we are. Mental attitude can never overcome basic primal behavior, especially in an emergency.
 
Old 08-05-2013, 09:39 AM
 
2,599 posts, read 2,977,616 times
Reputation: 1421
This was exactly my experience growing up. It is amazing what "the talk" apparently heads off. My Dad also had the talk with my husband. He toldhim he doesn't do domestic violence against his daughters ...married or not. Numerous cousins also echoed the same...some on our weddingvideo no less! This type of talk could help some married women too. Situations can get quite tense sometimes within the confines of marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeannaC View Post
My father would never, ever allow us to date anyone until he'd met them first. If one came and honked his horn (that happened once), my father went out and asked him to leave. He insisted we be treated like the ladies he'd raised us to be.

My father had a very effective way of laying down the law without speaking a word. He'd invite the young man in, (we were't allowed to sit in on these "conversations" as it was "man talk") and sit there cleaning his service revolver while the suiter "declared his intentions" with my father's daughter, lol

I had the best, non troublesome dating experiences of my life (and for some reason, my dates always had me home earlier than my he and my father had agreed upon, lol)

Bad things happen to girls nowadays, and I can see how a man would absolutely reinforce the idea that he will go to any length to protect what he loves and honors.

Like Plmokn said, they're metaphors and It's absolutely wired into men to defend those he loves, respects and to defend a woman, any woman.

It's like the way a woman will automatically take charge of an infant in need. She goes into the nurture and healing mode. Men, go into the protective, defensive mode.

It's the way we are. Mental attitude can never overcome basic primal behavior, especially in an emergency.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top