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Ive heard it from quite a few people, that having a child or two, seeing how life is created, can wipe out what people are going through, sadness, depression, their past, etc.
i want to hear your story, because i have been going through tons of family problems, my past with abuse, and i cant snap out of it, and people around me just says "wait until you have a kid, then talk to me again, probably all you will talk about by then is your kid"
Please do not have a child to solve/attempt to overshadow your own problems.
Parenting can be rewarding and wonderful overall, but on a daily basis it can be exhausting, frustrating and sometimes isolating. If you are struggling to care for yourself, having total responsibilty for an infant/child cannot be a good thing for either of you.
Just like on an airplane when you are to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Work through your own issues first then decide whether children are something you want as a part of your life. Best of luck.
Absolutely not. While it can remove your focus from yourself and your problems, and redirect it towards your child, it will open up an entire host of different stresses.
Children can't cure what ails adults, and it's unfair to even try.
Ive heard it from quite a few people, that having a child or two, seeing how life is created, can wipe out what people are going through, sadness, depression, their past, etc.
i want to hear your story, because i have been going through tons of family problems, my past with abuse, and i cant snap out of it, and people around me just says "wait until you have a kid, then talk to me again, probably all you will talk about by then is your kid"
Definitely not. There are plenty of things that change, but a child can't make your problems go away. Mostly you just have new ones, and perhaps sometimes they are so much bigger than the old ones that the old ones seem to go away.
No child should be born or adopted with an agenda. And of course having kids can bring a whole new set of problems and depressions and challenges which may make your previous challenges seem inconsequential to you. that is probably what some people are saying to you. Something like "If you think you have problems now, just wait till you have kids" that can be interpreted many ways.
No, this is a terrible idea. It will not help you with your issues - if anything, it make make them worse. People with issues , esp those stemming from a unhappy childhood or past often find children '"triggers " for their own unhappiness.
I'm sorry that you are going thru some "stuff" though, I wish you peace soon.
Actually I see a little what the OP might be suggesting.
Having a child does tend to put your world and past problems into perspective.
However, it is not wise to use a child as a guinea pig to see if they can put at rest any issues you may have with your past. As others have suggested, parenting can be very very difficult and may have the complete opposite effect you were hoping for.
Having said that, if you can work toward making peace with your past - not forgetting about it and shoving it under the rug - but making proper peace so that it's a part of your past and not running your future, then I don't see why you shouldn't have a child.
But you must never expect the child to eradicate your problems. Only you can do that. Because you can't give them back, and you owe them the best possible emotional support once you've brought them here.
Ive heard it from quite a few people, that having a child or two, seeing how life is created, can wipe out what people are going through, sadness, depression, their past, etc.
i want to hear your story, because i have been going through tons of family problems, my past with abuse, and i cant snap out of it, and people around me just says "wait until you have a kid, then talk to me again, probably all you will talk about by then is your kid"
DO NOT HAVE A CHILD.
If this post is for real and you are seriously this troubled you would NEVER want to bring a baby into this situation. That would be the height of selfishness.
Seek some professional help for your issues and to gain some healing and self-awareness, please.
However, I did work with a young couple, both drug addicts, and they both stopped using drugs, when I pointed out that their baby would be taken away. They worked hard to stay clean, and get jobs.
But, they were the exception, I have met other drug addicts who did not care. And kept using drugs, and had their kids taken away.
I am a firm believer, if you can't support yourself don't have a child. Fix that first.
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